Mature love: why is the second love the best?

Many movies, songs, or novels they are inspired by loveThis feeling so intense that it is capable of leaving us sensations and feelings that are difficult to forget.

Mature loves and first time loves

Throughout our life we can fall in love sometime, and sometimes people even fall in love several times. But the first love can be a love so intense that madness can take over us. Now, after regaining sanity, the experience of this first failed love can allow us to live the next love in another way; in a more mature way.

The idea that the first love is the only and the most important in our life is a wrong belief. The first love can be unforgettable, but that does not mean that it is the love of our life. You also learn to love, and for a relationship to work, you also have to learn to make it work. If you have just left with your partner and you feel that you are never going to love with such intensity again, do not despair. You can love again and you can love better.

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Love ends too

The first love comes to us almost without realizing it, it invades us, and when we realize it, we are so deep inside it that leaving is not an easy task. If the first love ends, touching with your feet on the ground again, with reality, is complicated. Heartbreak is a process that can be very long for some people, especially the first love. Well, the lack of experience in overcoming this type of ups and downs can lead some individuals to depression.

Those who have been there know that sadness can be left behind and regain motivation to live, but this takes time. Returning to normality is a process, and at the point of leaving behind everything we have experienced, there are many memories that hit our minds. Certainly, it is not easy at all to accept that the situation has come to an end, that the other person, the one who We have loved so much for the first time, he will rebuild his life without us and everything he lived will be left behind, never to return more**. Therefore, to overcome heartbreak, it is necessary to overcome a series of stages of grief **.

• If you want to know more about the stages of heartbreak, visit our post: "The 5 phases to overcome the duel of the couple breakup"

After the first love... existential crisis arrives

From a young age, culture shapes our way of thinking. Our vision of love, therefore, is influenced by it. We believe that love is like in the movies, something that is not in accordance with reality. When the first love ends, we have to re-educate ourselves, we have to be realistic and leave behind some irrational thoughts that can do us a lot of damage.

And of course, reeducation implies breaking with old mental schemes. When we realize that our way of thinking no longer works, we can suffer an existential crisis. The existential crisis clouds us and makes us feel that we do not know the path we should follow. This can be very draining mentally and can lead to emotional problems. At least until we meet ourselves again to get afloat.

In this stage of growth we end up looking for a new life in which a new love story can gain prominence. To do this, it is necessary to learn from the past and reconnect with ourselves. It is then when we can reopen our hearts to love to fall in love again.

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Giving way to mature love

Fortunately, human beings have a great capacity for adaptation and we can learn from past experiences. The first love is usually an irrational love in most cases (although not always). And although it is usually an enormously rewarding experience at first, the suffering it leaves behind can be one of the most unpleasant situations that we have to live in this life. But like any existential crisis, learning from this experience can make us grow enormously as people and can allow us to discover mature love.

Mature love is the one that lasts, because even though the flame of irrational love can be very intense, it dissolves in its own fire. Mature love is a love that feeds on understanding, of respect on the part of the two members of the couple. The mature love relationship is free and is based on communication and negotiation. This love is not born, it is built over time and takes care of itself. It lasts because it is the real one.

Want more tips on how to make your relationship work? In our article “The 7 keys to having a healthy relationshipYou will find all the information you need.