10 strategies to improve your child's self-esteem

As parents, it is impossible for us to be able to protect our children from all the situations and problems that they will face throughout their lives. Children must grow and develop in environments where parents are not present to help them out..

However, we have a fundamental tool to help children to be self-sufficient and to make their own decisions: the self-esteem.

Self-esteem in children: several previous clarifications

Fundamentally, we can say that children's self-esteem begins to form based on the relationships established with people in their immediate environment: parents, siblings (if he has them), teachers and playmates.

Self-esteem is expressed through the emotions and feelings that the child shows and depends largely on their self-image and their perception of self-efficacy. If the child feels confident in her own abilities and capacities, the most natural thing is for him to develop high self-esteem. Otherwise, if the child does not trust his potential and has a poor perception of his abilities and skills, he will consolidate certain negative ideas and feelings towards himself, leading to a low selfsteem.

It may interest you: "The insecure child: causes, signs and symptoms"

The role of parents in the emotional well-being of the child

As parents, we have a great responsibility to promote good self-esteem in our children.

Many times, children's low self-esteem is closely related to bad habits and dynamic dysfunctional relationships that we learned from our parents. If we do not give importance to these aspects in raising children, we run the risk that they grow up and consolidate some negative feelings and a bad perception about themselves.

More on this topic: "Tips for nurturing your child with emotional intelligence"

10 strategies, techniques and tricks to increase your child's self-esteem

1. Be a role model

It is one of the most effective strategies: if you are a positive role model for your child, he will learn from your way of being and doing. Children learn by imitating adults. Therefore, it is not effective that we order them to have certain habits and customs if then we, as parents, are the first to act in the opposite way.

If the child observes that you are a person who does not value himself, who is complaining all day and refuses the tasks and responsibilities of him, the most natural thing is that he ends up adopting this negative model and ends up looking like you. For this reason we need to take care of our own self-esteem, in addition to our habits and values.

Learn to improve your self-esteem: "10 keys to increase your self-esteem in 30 days"

2. Set limits and rules

It is important that as parents we manage to establish clear limits and rules so that our children develop correctly. These limits not only let you know that there are things that should not be done, but also give you a framework of interactions in which they can feel comfortable and safe, and therefore lay the foundations for a good self-esteem.

Evidently, these limits must be consistent and reasonable.

3. Censoring the mistake, not the person

There are different ways to correct our son when he makes a mistake: we can berate and criticize you personally or we can focus our observation on inappropriate behavior.

It is essential that as parents we understand that we must avoid making the child feel excessively guilty of the mistake that he has made, because it could be the case that he associates the mistake made with his own personality. Therefore, we should not use phrases like "You are useless". Focus on the behavior and do not make value judgments about the child.

4. Value the effort, not the result

When we start a path, We must not reduce everything to the final result but to the challenge that going through it has entailed and in the personal development and experience that we have acquired trying to achieve our objectives.

We must be aware that the effort we have invested in this activity that motivates us so much is much more important than whether we have been able to achieve the objectives we had set for ourselves, or not. For this reason It is essential that we value the effort of children, even in the event that for some reason they have not been able to do it successfully. In this way we can make you notice that if you make an effort in things you will be able to progress properly, and that the obstacles that you encounter will only be temporary.

5. Detect and correct your limiting beliefs

The rational thinking of children goes through different stages of maturation, Y this implies that they do not always follow a logical coherence. At times, they may be nurturing irrational and erroneous thoughts about themselves, which can negatively affect their self-esteem.

If you identify any of these limiting or wrong beliefs, It is important that you do what you can to correct it, so that it does not consolidate in your mind. For example, we must avoid that they have manias about their physical appearance or that they doubt their intellectual abilities. We must teach them to love themselves as they are. We must help our children to look at themselves objectively, so that they can form a selfconcept realistic and positive.

6. Show unconditional love for your child

Many parents make a common mistake: they encourage children to "earn their love" by behaving well or fulfilling certain academic or other achievementsor. If we make them see that our affection is not unconditional, the child will base her self-esteem on the approval of others and we will be encouraging her to have a withdrawn personality.

To avoid this, parents must offer our unconditional love towards them. This does not mean that we should tolerate negative behaviors, but it does mean that we do have to point out our understanding and affection even though the child may make mistakes and have some limitations. In bad times, for example when he has made a mistake that has made him feel bad, it is when another child needs to know that we support him and that we are very proud of him.

7. Encourage the child to take certain risks

Overprotective parents raise children with low self-esteem. If we do not allow our child to test his skills and abilities, he will not be able to know what his abilities are. limits him and therefore he will not be able to improve his aptitudes, with which we will be encouraging him to be an insecure child and fearful.

Therefore, it is convenient that from an early age we encourage our children to face certain challenges, even when it may pose a risk, that yes, controlled. This will allow them to improve their skills and expand their world.. It is important to emphasize that the child's identity is being built through each new experience, therefore it is not appropriate to limit his field of action.

8. Let the little one make mistakes

Every mistake is a new learning. We must not fall into the tendency to overly direct the child's life, because we will be limiting their possibilities of learning and coming out strengthened both in maturation and in self-confidence. The life lessons learned from each experience can be important to your development.

We must encourage children, far from experiencing frustration, to experiment with new challenges and We support when they require it so that they can climb in their cognitive abilities and in their self-confidence.

9. Avoid exaggerating your achievements and abilities

Good self-esteem is not the same as artificially inflated self-esteem, but is based on a balanced and realistic self-concept. Therefore, we should not try to flatter the child all the time and exaggerate his personal abilities and achievements, but rather You simply have to record his good results thanks to the effort and commitment that he has put into the homework.

In fact, Wanting to exaggerate the virtues of the children can have the opposite effect to what we would like, since we can lower their self-esteem. So if for example he is good at playing soccer, we can let him know and motivate him, but he is not good idea to put it in his head that he will be the next Leo Messi, because he can carry excessive pressure and nothing realistic.

To expand on this point: "Pygmalion effect: children end up being the wishes and fears of their parents"

10. Spend quality time with him

A good idea to help build good self-esteem in your child is get him to understand that he is very important to you. For that, you should try to dedicate quality time to it.

We already know that adult life is full of schedules and obligations that do not allow us to spend as much time as we would like with our children. If you cannot attend to him at a specific time, it is preferable that you let him know and that at another time you give him your attention. The child must note that, although we cannot be with him whenever we want, we have a great interest in attending to his needs and give him all the love possible.