Battered men: an unknown and silenced reality
"My boyfriend has committed suicide"she said when notifying the police, the 37-year-old woman. A short time later, based on the data collected in the autopsy results and the repeated contradictions, the woman was arrested for murder.
It happened in Valencia last year, and this is one of the few cases of violence by women towards a man with whom she had a romantic relationship. Cases of men abused by their partner are relatively rareHowever, those who suffer from it are also victims who need protection.
The mistreatment of men in numbers
According to the report on domestic violence General Council of the Judiciary from Spain, the number of men killed at the hands of their partner or ex-partner would be roughly estand:
| Year | 2007 | 2008 | 2009 | 2010 | 2011 |
| Murders of men | 2 | 6 | 10 | 7 | 7 |
The aggressors were five women and, in the case of the homosexual couples, two men, according to 2011 data.
Comparison with gender violence
The number of homicides of men at the hands of their partners or ex-partners, however, is not comparable to the number of victims of gender violence in quantitative terms.
For example, According to 2009 data, the number of men murdered was 10, while the number of women murdered at the hands of men rose to 55. The statistical difference is so substantial that it could be a more than likely explanation for why there are no specific studies on male victims.
The concept of domestic violence
The mistreatment by women towards men is included within what is known as domestic violence. In addition, the data provided by the Statistics National Institute from Spain indicate that a quarter of the complaints of domestic violence correspond to attacks by the woman towards her partner.
It is also known that a high number of women who abuse their partners have suffered violence during their childhood or by one of their partners on previous occasions. The percentage of women who assault their partners without previously having been subjected to violence is much lower than that of men.
A silent and hidden violence
According to data from the report on domestic violence by the General Council of the Judiciary, the average age of male victims of murder at the hands of their partners or ex-partners was 45 years, and their nationality is usually Spanish. Only five of them were living with their aggressor at the time of her death. But the most significant thing is that none of the men murdered by their partners had filed a complaint.
This type of violence in which it is reproduced in the mistreatment of men is rare, but more invisible and silent compared to other forms of mistreatment.
Family and friends lend their help
The abused have a greater difficulty in recognizing that they are the object of these attacks, they are not able to report it and often it has to be their own environment who helps them to press charges. Male victims of domestic violence tend not to take legal action out of shame.
Thus, the majority of complaints are calls for help from relatives in the same environment. Nevertheless, many of the battered men continue to deny they have any such problemsThey do not assume the situation and believe that what happens to them is normal.
Battered men and lack of social visibility
The fact that there are few cases of mistreatment of men by their partners makes society do not have as much knowledge of this phenomenon compared to the opposite case, that is, the tragedy of the sexist violence that leaves so many victims, as unfortunately we are used to seeing on the news. Likewise, it also happens that the lack of attention by the media, the unfavorable treatment in terms of public aid and the blow to his self esteem, they make a large part of the victims desist when they go to the authorities.
The fact is that, culturally, man must be a model of strength. This is as real a social cliché as it is otherwise; women must have a passive role and dedicate themselves to the care of the children. Thus, the man attacked by his partner interprets what is happening to him as a sign of his own weakness, and this leads to questioning his virility and his masculinity. This is why the victims do not tell their story and it is their lawyers who present the facts to the authorities.
Examples of mistreatment and harassment towards men
This trivialization of abuse by male victims is easy to see in most cases.
A particular case is that of a man who when he came home from his work, his wife slapped him and threw objects. He justified it by claiming that his wife suffered from a mental illness and that it was not an everyday occurrence. It is, without any nuance, the same justification as in the case of women victims of sexist violence; gender is irrelevant here, there is an aggressor and a victim who, out of shame, dependency and / or fear, rationalize their situation by adhering to any mitigating factor.
On one occasion there was the case of a woman sentenced for mistreat your spouseshe, she, she is currently pending admission to prison. He received attacks on a daily basis, ironically it was a large man who worked in security. He never defended himself from the aggressions of his wife, he feared that defending himself from her would imply violence on her part, given her social role as a man. She finally denounced.
An unprecedented case is that of a man of normal height and his girlfriend, a very large and sporty foreign woman, as well as very violent. He said that he had arrived in Spain fleeing from the authorities of his country for having killed two ex-partners. With the passage of time and events, he ended up believing it. He suffered constant attacks and even broke his foot. The last time she was arrested was when she in the middle of the street she started hitting him in the face with her fist.
After a long time, she finally assumed that she should report it, which she was terrified of since she believed that she would end up going after him. After several attacks, she had to flee her own home and requested a restraining order after going to the doctor, who processed an injury report. However, The restraining order was denied by the judge, since the judge's account of this victim seemed implausible as it was a man. Four months later, she got a divorce; however the sequels remained. She is currently on sick leave and undergoing psychiatric treatment for a acute anxiety-depressive picture.
Legal and cultural factors that play against
It is the case that there are innumerable legal differences when the victim is a male. In Spain, gender-based violence has a substantially higher penalty than domestic violence that includes, in addition to violence by women against men, violence to minors. For example, threats in the event that the woman is the victim are considered a criminal offense, while if the victim is a man, it is classified as misdemeanor. Of course, this does not serve to justify gender-based violence, but rather shows a lack of legislation.
This is one of the reasons why the problem does not stop: lack of visibility makes it not easy to spend time and resources changing the legal framework either and to build support platforms for battered men. Awareness is, in this regard, a fundamental key for this to change.
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