How to strengthen the bond between parents and children, in 6 keys

Although we often forget it, love goes far beyond relationships. The affective bond that unites fathers and mothers with their sons and daughters it is, normally, one of the strongest that exists. Fathers and mothers can make sacrifices for the well-being of their little ones (or not so little anymore).

However, simply having children and starting a new family does not guarantee that relationships affective that occur between the two generations of this are always strong, or that they are stable and of quality. Problems between parents and children are more frequent than we imagineIt is important to note that this is due to poor relationship management - something that can be avoided.

Below we will see several guidelines on how to keep the parent-child relationship healthy and that, if they exist, old grudges and resentments remain in the past. No conflict has to last forever.

• Related article: "The 4 types of love: what different kinds of love are there?"

How to strengthen the relationship between parents and children

In the affectionate relationships that are established between parents, and children, a small change in attitude can cause seemingly entrenched anger and conflict to begin to fade at a rapid rate surprising.

Even if what there is is not resentment but indifference, it is perfectly possible to reconnect with the youngest by inviting them to become involved in meaningful conversations and expressions of affection. Let's see how.

1. Bet on physical contact

Although many times we forget it, a good part of relationships are established through physical contact: kisses, hugs, caresses... That is why it is good to promote them in parent-child relationships, provided they are unplanned and arise spontaneously. This advice is not so much about "implanting" hugs, but about not repressing them.

• You may be interested: "Child attachment: definition, functions and types"

2. Avoid questioning

One of the techniques that fathers and mothers use to try to establish communication with their children is to propose a succession of questions, which are usually answered briefly or with monosyllables by young people, until they get tired and react with anger. This is a tactic to avoid, as not usually effective in facilitating fluid dialogue.

Instead, it's much better to go for meaningful dialogue. If it is difficult to capture the attention of the son or daughter, it is better to assume that and not force from the beginning to have to think about it. what they are going to say when asked (this tends to overwhelm someone who is not willing to interaction).

How to do it? Speaking honestly about an issue that he or she may be interested in giving an opinion on. For this it is good to remember that the form matters more than the content (You can do a monologue on practically any topic, for example).

In this case, what gives interest to what is said is the fact of expressing from the beginning that it is an honest, personal and intimate reflection on what is being talked about. Printing this layer of intimacy in the message will easily awaken empathy in who, after all, is our son or daughter.

3. Manage schedules

Many times, the weakening of the bonds that unite parents and children is caused by a bad schedule. All relationships depend on practice, not theory, and if time is not shared together, the fact of being "father of" and "son of" counts rather little. It is necessary to make the schedule have a sufficient amount of time to make family life.

4. Take an interest in their world

Many parents assume that it is impossible to understand anything that belongs to their children's generation. This, in addition to being a mistake in the face of family relationships, is totally false and does not hold up anywhere. Why should an adult be incapable of informing himself and minimally understanding what they are? the interests and references of their children? What there are, many times, are simple excuses for not having to face this task.

If our daughter is interested in mountaineering, for example, she does not have to interest us It is mandatory, but we should understand what aspects of this activity make it stimulating, and how. A) Yes it is much easier to understand their world and their priorities and, of course, to empathize.

So the next time she talks about something that interests her, she embraces the active listening and consider learning for real.

5. Keep the Smartphone away

Smartphones and tablets are very useful devices in many ways, but in face-to-face relationships they are distracting, wreaking havoc on the quality of interaction. That is why every parent who wants to share quality time with their little ones should specifically see to it that these items stay away when talking and share pleasant moments together.

• Related article: "Nomophobia: The Growing Mobile Phone Addiction"

6. Show good disposition

If you want to strengthen the bond with your son or daughter, show it by taking the first steps, even if sometimes your pride or stubbornness will throw you back. Yes, it can go wrong, and yes, this gesture of approach may not be reciprocated, but it is important to be clear that this step is essential and that, after all, we do not risk anything relevant in it in case of being rejected.