The 3 communication styles, and how to recognize them

Communication styles are the main ways we exchange information. Knowing how to recognize and manage them properly is key to improving the quality of personal relationships.

In this article we will see what communication styles are like divided into their categories: the assertive, the passive and the aggressive. In addition, we will see how to adapt them to the communicative contexts that we use.

• Related article: "The 10 basic communication skills"

Communication styles

The human mind is complex, and this is due, among other things, to the fact that communication with others allows us to learn all kinds of concepts and ideas about the environment.

Without this capacity, we would not only be desert islands from the psychological point of view, but we would not even be able to think, as we did not have language. Despite this, the fact that living in society we learn to express ourselves does not mean that we always do it well. That is why it is good to know the communicative styles.

These communication styles depend, among other things, on the attitudes and elements of social skills that we use

to express our ideas and emotional states or feelings.

1. Aggressive styling

The elements that characterize this style of communication are verbal and non-verbal threats, as well as direct accusations and reproaches. Ultimately, the objective of this set of initiatives is enter a power dynamic in which oneself has dominance and the other part is minimized.

Not so much is trying to communicate valuable information that one has, but rather to have a concrete effect on the other person or those who observe the interaction, to gain power. Also, the use of the fallacy ad hominem, or directly from the insults, it is not strange.

On the other hand, the use of the aggressive communication style is also characterized by paraverbal and non-verbal elements that express anger or hostility. For example, high tone of voice, muscle tension, etc.

2. Inhibited, or passive style

This is a style of communication based on the inhibition of those thoughts and feelings that in normal situations could be expressed.

The ultimate purpose is to greatly limit the flow of communication, either because there is something hidden since it is incriminating information, or because there is fear of the possibility of not pleasing others. There is also the possibility that the reason for adopting this attitude is simple disinterest, or the desire to settle a dialogue as soon as possible.

In practice, the passive communication style is typical of shy people, who are insecure in personal relationships, or in introverts, who try to communicate more with less. This means that fear does not have to be the trigger. There are those who understand that the "default" state is isolation and loneliness, and that any effort made to express themselves must be justified.

Also, if there is something important that is wanted to say but there is fear of communicating it, frequently it is said behind the back of the person concerned. Characteristics of this communication style include relatively little eye contact, low tone of voice, short or short responses. with little relation to what is spoken, and a non-verbal language that expresses defensive attitude or insecurity (although this last component varies more).

• You may be interested: "Differences between extroverts, introverts and shy people"

3. Assertive style

In the assertive style, what you think and feel is communicated directly, as long as you believe that it has value and that it will not excessively bother someone. That is, you communicate honestly and transparently, but without trying to dominate the other person.

Thus, it is intended that one's social skills remain establishing a balance in which both one's own interests and those of the other person are taken into account, so relevant information flows smoothly.

Given these characteristics, this is considered to be the most desirable communication style for most situations.

The use of these expressive resources

Despite the fact that the vast majority of people are capable of resorting to communication styles, We can distinguish between individuals according to the degree to which they tend to adopt one of the they.

For example, in situations of conflict of interest, some people will tend to quickly adopt an aggressive communication style, or a passive one, etc.

In addition, on the other hand, although generally the assertive style is the most appropriate, there are specific situations in which passive or aggressive styles may make sense. For example, by acknowledging a serious mistake that you have made yourself, or by expressing frustration at a situation that is someone else's fault. Rationality is not always ahead of our way of relating; in fact, he often has little influence over her.