Why Emotional Intelligence is important in parenting

Parenting is a process that goes far beyond giving them information about what the world around them is like and how it works; If it were limited only to that, the little ones would have a too static vision of reality, as if it existed in a photograph. In practice, they would have a lot of trouble developing physically and emotionally healthy.

Therefore, in addition to the above, raising the smallest of the house also includes aspects such as the way in which it is appropriate to relate to their environment, with others, and with oneself. And faced with this task, it is essential to develop what is known in Psychology as Emotional Intelligence.

Taking that into account, in the following lines we will see in more detail what they are the reasons why Emotional Intelligence is important in parenting, especially in childhood and adolescence.

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Why is Emotional Intelligence a basic ingredient in parenting?

These are the different aspects in which the fact of having or not taking Emotional Intelligence into account when raising our sons and daughters is noted.

1. Helps them manage painful emotions

Emotional Intelligence means that, regardless of our age, we are able to manage emotions so that these do not lead us to develop dysfunctional behavior patterns, which play in our against. In the case of children this is very important, because no matter how much their parents or caregivers try to protect them, the simple act of living will expose them to uncomfortable, unpleasant or sad situations.

One of the emotionally painful experiences that children will go through the most is frustration: as not yet understand too much how the world works, they are often faced with disappointments, or suffer setbacks that are not understood. they expected. Emotional Intelligence facilitates that these experiences are part of what will help them correct their mistakes in the future, instead of using that resentment to continue reproducing behaviors inadequate.

2. Allows them to connect with others

Emotional Intelligence leads us to better understand the emotional states and motivations of the people with whom we interact, and this is the case at any age. Therefore, parents who promote the development of Emotional Intelligence during the upbringing of their children will be helping to generate stable circles of friends, in which communication problems, conflicts and anger do not arise again and again.

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3. Helps to see incentives linked to the long term

In their first years of life, boys and girls tend to behave guided by short-term incentives. term because that is the world they understand: the world of sensations and stimuli that appear in the here and now. The ability to develop sensitivity to medium and long-term incentives will appear as they grow older, and is one of the most important aspects of psychological maturation.

Emotional Intelligence goes hand in hand with that ability to connect emotionally with the goals that will be reached after a few weeks, a few months or a few years. This also includes behaving well to help the social environment in which the little ones live work well. In the cases of boys and girls with underdeveloped Emotional Intelligence for their age, the incentives to which they obey continue limited to the perks that the present can offer them, which makes it difficult for them to organize and follow plans.

4. Helps them achieve their goals

Another important aspect of Emotional Intelligence is that it allows us to anticipate the emotional consequences that will have in us the fact of carrying out certain actions or modifying the environment in a certain way. For example, it is what is behind the fact that many people who manage to adopt the habit of studying do so by moving away from distractions such as the television, the mobile phone, etc.

Therefore, incorporating Emotional Intelligence exercises in parenting makes children realize that many times they don't have to wait for the right emotion to emerge spontaneously from them, but they can self-induce certain psychological states that help them to perform tasks.

Are you looking to promote the Emotional Intelligence of your children?

If you are interested in having psychological assistance with which to help your son or daughter, either through child and adolescent therapy or through counseling services for parents, contact U.S. On PSiCOBAi We serve people of all ages both in individual sessions and in family and couples therapy. Currently you can count on us both in our center located in Majadahonda and through online therapy. On this page there is more information about our way of working, as well as the contact details of PSiCOBAi.

Bibliographic references:

• Goleman, D. (1995). Emotional Intelligence. Barcelona: Kairos.
• Lantieri, L. & Goleman, D. (2008), Building Emotional Intelligence: Techniques to Cultivate Inner Strength in Children. Scotts Valley: CreateSpace.
• Renom, A. (2003). Emotional education. Program for primary education (6 - 12 years). Alphen aan den Rijn: Wolfers Kluwer.
• Salovey, Peter; Mayer, John; Caruso, David (2004). Emotional Intelligence: Theory, Findings, and Implications. Psychological Inquiry, pp. 197 - 215.
• Vallès, A., and Vallès, C. (2000): Emotional intelligence: Educational applications. Madrid, Editorial EOS.