The need for attachment: oxytocin and the social connection system

Attachment and its implications for development and emotional regulation have always been fascinating to me. For this reason, it seems fundamental to me to learn about how this basic psychological phenomenon affects our lives and development.

Several years ago I was lucky enough to meet Sue Carter and Stephen Porges at a neurofeedback conference in Venice. Sue is one of the first researchers in the field of oxytocin and Stephen, on the other hand, is the creator of the polyvagal theory, a theory that he develops and explains how the activation of the social connection system makes us feel physiologically calm, safe and connected socially.

I took the visions and contributions of both as a treasure that has helped me organize and understand attachment, security and the interrelation between body and mind.

This body / mind interaction is observed from the beginning of pregnancy, organizing both biology and psychology to promote the most appropriate environment where the fetus and then the future baby develop.

• Related article: "Attachment Theory and the bond between parents and children"

The link between oxytocin and attachment

From the beginning of pregnancy, oxytocin will be secreted, the hormone of love, bonding or also called shy hormone (because it requires security to manifest itself, as well as the motivation to get involved socially).

Oxytocin, among other functions, prepares the mother's brain to get involved and fall in love with the future baby. Those oxytocin levels will peak in the hours following delivery and during breastfeeding. The mere presence of a baby leads us to secrete oxytocin, promoting that state of calm, where time stops and we look for the baby's gaze and delight in it.

In those looks, in those words intoned as caresses, in that gestural implication we get socially involved with the baby, and so on. the dance of attachment that favors emotional regulation is encouraged. The breath and the heart calm down, the smiles illuminate the faces and we enter the space of coherence between baby and mom or dad or caregiver, where time is delayed and you simply enjoy the mutual delight.

The therapeutic implications of this process

This very mammalian and human characteristic of the tendency to establish deep emotional connections from birth is what has been lacking in early trauma or traumatic developments.

As a therapist who seeks to repair attachment, among my objectives are to promote these states to activate the system of social connection and favor the behaviors that generate oxytocin, so that both processes help us to get closer to that connection, and above all to facilitate the perception of security so that all of the above is viable.

To learn more...

On May 8 and 9, 2020, Sue Carter and Stephen Porges will give a seminar in Sitges, focused on the issue of how oxytocin and polyvagal theory reflect processes for understanding connection, safety and social bonding. It is an opportunity to listen directly to them and learn from them. Understanding the neurobiology of attachment and bonding becomes a therapeutic advantage.

If you are interested in learning more about the seminar, get in touch with the Cuatro Ciclos Institute, the organizer of this event.

Author: Cristina Cortés, specialist in trauma and attachment and director of Vitaliza.