The 10 keys to overcome shyness once and for all

Do you find it difficult to relate to people? Are you not able to express your opinions or your feelings? Do you care too much what other people think of you? Are you never the center of attention at social gatherings?

If you have answered yes to any of these questions, We invite you to know 10 keys to overcome shyness.

Overcoming shyness: 10 keys to overcoming your introversion

Most shy people (65%) believe they are shy because of external circumstances, such as an excess of control by their families, having been treated in an authoritarian or overprotective way, or having suffered bullying in his childhood.

Shyness should not be confused with introversion, since this last concept alludes to some biological bases of the personality, while shyness does usually represent a problem when interacting with other people. 23% attribute their shyness to internal causes, such as poor self-image. Fortunately, 86% of shy people are optimistic that they can improve their problem if they set their mind to it, as reported The Shyness Institute, experts in studies on this trait.

We invite you to know if you are extroverted or introvert reading the following article:

• "How to know if you tend towards introversion or extraversion"

Shyness, as well as any other problem, requires professional advice and follow-up, but in mild cases there are ten tips that can help overcome it if we have the clear intention of do it.

1. Do not be so hard on yourself

Do not push yourself so much when you are surrounded by people and you think that your contributions do not go as you wanted. Do not worry. Most of your judgments are not based on facts but on negative thoughts that you have learned about what should be optimal social behavior.

Perfection does not exist, it is better to let ourselves be carried away by the intuition of the moment. The most important thing, especially at the beginning, is to relativize the importance of even those experiences that you are so afraid of happening: is it really so serious to look ridiculous from time to time, if with this you learn to gain fluency when expressing yourself and being you in front of the rest? How many of those people who are obsessed with offering only your best side will you have in your day to day three or four years from now?

2. Responds to social situations authentically

Don't be reactive to them. Do not try to impose an attitude or behavior that you are not really feeling. Laugh if something amuses you, not because of commitment. Speak if you want to speak, not because the situation demands it.

Think that the social performance of people It does not depend so much on whether they "check" the boxes of the actions that are considered popular, as on the way in which you show that you are comfortable or comfortable with what you do. Even if you did something considered weird or eccentric, it could work in your favor if you show that it is a deliberate and genuine action. that reflects your personality, and that you are even aware that technically it is rare but you do not care if they see that facet yours.

3. When you get ready to say something or make a move ...

Push the beliefs your mind sends you to the limit. Many beliefs are limiting, sometimes you have to risk engaging in that scary conversation (rather: emotion) generates you.

If you get used to always giving in to your fears, you will enter a dynamic in which it is no longer that you do not dare, it is that you do not even you will propose to go beyond the habits and behaviors that are familiar to you, with all the limitations that this it implies.

4. Learn and don't be afraid to take steps towards new behaviors in social situations

Reality must be conceived, in a way, as a test bed. Experiment, there is nothing more stimulating than trying things, even if they go "wrong." In reality, they are unique learnings and experiences that you take with you: you are sowing seeds that sooner or later will bear fruit.

5. You can practice new social behaviors with trusted people

You can practice with your close friends until you get used to starting conversations. Maintain eye contact, develop your body language, express your ideas and emotions... Little by little you will feel more comfortable and you will expand your range of action. Here is a good article to develop this set of social skills.

6. If you have been avoiding doing something, you can write what you are going to say

Do you like to write? You can rehearse the interaction by writing it down on a notepad or in front of the mirror until you feel comfortable.. Without obsessing: remember that failures should be understood as successes, since they bring you lessons that will help you in the future.

7. Drop into group meetings

It is a good idea that frequent groups and environments where interests meet coincide with yours and try talking to new people. You will be able to start conversations in which you can contribute a lot, and perhaps from there it will be easier for you to move on to the personal terrain with your interlocutors.

8. Don't worry about social acceptance

Practice your assertiveness And don't be afraid to be more spontaneous. Actually, being spontaneous is a very positive thing, and if you are, rest assured that others will appreciate it. Speak up honestly and assertively, and people are likely to accept you and be receptive to your opinions.

9. Get used to speaking in front of more people

Start to make yourself see in the situations in which you can feel more comfortable. Even if you do not realize it, you will be training and your brain will assimilate that speaking in front of other people does not pose any risk; there is nothing to fear.

10. If you feel nervous and shy, you can remember this

If your nerves ever get you intoxicated, remember that there are great characters in history who overcame their shyness. Although it is expensive, shyness is not going to be an obstacle to achieving your personal and professional goals.