How to control anger: 7 practical tips

Problems related to anger are a frequent reason for consulting psychology professionals.

There are even therapists who are specialized only in the Anger control and the aggressiveness, data that tells us that it is something that affects many people. How to control anger? This is precisely what patients ask themselves, since it is often difficult to manage the aggressive tendency or to get angry without outside help.

Today we deal with the problem of anger and aggressiveness, and we present some tips to control it.

What exactly is anger?

Anger is an emotion characterized by a rapid increase in heart rate, blood pressure, and levels of norepinephrine and adrenaline in the blood. It is also common for the person who feels anger to redden, sweat, tense his muscles, breathe more quickly and see his body energy increased.

Being an emotion related to the aggressive driveSome experts point out that anger is the manifestation of the response that our brain emits to attack or flee from danger. On the other hand, the mental state of moments of anger makes us instinctive and reduces our ability to reason.

The causes of anger

Anger can arise as a consequence of a state of insecurity, envy, fear, and so on. Anger can also appear when we are unable to face a concrete situation, being able to hurt or annoy us the way in which the people around us act.

In short, anger or aggressiveness often appear in situations that we perceive as a threat. Therefore, anger is based on feelings such as fear, fear, frustration or even tiredness.

When we are frustrated with something, we can react in various ways. For the present case, one of the possible reactions to frustration is anger. Aggression, for its part, is the outward manifestation of the anger we feel.

Anger appears automatically in some situations that hinder us to achieve ends or objectives. The emotions we feel are not produced without reason, but each one has a specific function. In the case of anger, the brain causes this been to prepare ourselves to make an effort superior to overcome the difficulty that has been presented to us.

Types of anger

Anger has different facets and takes different forms:

1. Aggressive behavior and violence it can appear as a way to achieve different objectives when we have not been able to achieve them without using violence. In this case, we could speak of an instrumental anger, because we use it as a means to obtain something. Therapists associate this behavior with poor communication skills or self-control, but it will always be possible to improve these aspects.

2. May appear anger as an explosion, because of having endured an unfair or disturbing situation for a long time. Thus, the small daily frustrations accumulate and, by not expressing our discomfort, we end up exploding at one point or another. The solution to this type of vicious cycle is to properly manage anger, and not accumulate it until it explodes.

3. Anger as defense It arises when we perceive that they are attacking us or we are facing a difficulty. Normally, we tend to react negatively more by intuition than by objective facts, which can lead to our anger being little objectively justified.

How to control anger? Some tips to handle it

Become aware of the causes that lead us to a state of anger It is a great step to move towards a good management of our anger. Learning to control anger involves learning to rationalize some irrational emotions and impulses and relativize the reactions that some life events produce in us.

Otherwise, aggressiveness and anger can lead us to a permanent state of alert that can generate bad personal experiences. Therefore, one of the key factors in anger management is the self control, but the following dynamics should also be highlighted in order to develop anger prevention:

1. Do not accumulate anger but manage it properly

When something unfair happens and we do not react, we accumulate anger and anger. Sooner or later, all this anger that we are keeping will explode and can lead to an episode of verbal and / or physical violence. Therefore, it is important to face problems with assertiveness and control, so as not to let the anger ball grow by the minute.

2. Avoid the winner / loser mentality

On many occasions, we get angry in reaction to the frustration of not having achieved some objectives that we set ourselves, or when something has not turned out as we expected. In these cases, the empathy It is the distinguishing feature among those who know how to manage frustration, control anger and accept setbacks with sportsmanship. We must avoid posing interpersonal relationships as a win-lose game.

3. Reflect on the causes and consequences of our irascibility

Think about it and analyze if our emotional reaction is really justified can help us. Many times we do not think about why we explode in a fit of anger, for example when we drive a car and We react instantly by insulting or gesturing at other drivers when they do something wrong.

At that point it would be vital to meditate on why we react in this way: have you thought about the possible consequences of having an episode of anger while driving? Seen like this, it is perhaps worth taking these situations in another way.

4. Get enough rest

When we are physically or mentally exhausted, our anger reactions and aggressive impulses are more frequent and we have fewer tools to manage them. For this reason it is necessary to rest and sleep the necessary hours: both quantitatively (sleeping at least 8 hours) and qualitatively (resting well).

Additionally, there are various times of the day when we are most vulnerable to erupting in anger, and that varies from person to person. We are able to control anger when we are rested, because we can better analyze situations.

5. Relaxation, meditation, self-control ...

Relaxation is the best way to prevent outbursts of anger. There are different ways to relax: practice sport, the yoga, the meditation, the Mindfulness, take a hot bath, or any method that distracts the mind and brings us to a state of positivity.

In fact, in the specific moments when we detect that we may have an angry reaction, it is a good idea to try to breathe deeply and slowly for at least twenty seconds: this will cause our body to detoxify the negativity and irascibility that sorry.

6. Avoid irritating situations and people

We must avoid finding ourselves in situations where we know they can increase our anger or lead us to a negative state. It is also likely that you know certain people who irritate you especially (the dreaded toxic people).

As far as possible, try to avoid contexts where we know we can explode, and as for the people who irritate us, sometimes it will be impossible not to have any contact (bosses, a specific family member), for Therefore, as far as possible, you should try to converse with that person so that the interactions are not as irritants.

7. Therapy with a psychologist

Help from a licensed, professional psychotherapist can decisively help to manage this type of emotional reaction, especially when it has At a point where aggressive behaviors derived from poor anger control are frequent.

Psychological therapy for these cases is intended to modify attitudes that generate situations of anger, and allow to achieve a cognitive restructuring so that the patient can manage and control their go to. Some are also used emotional control techniques to control anger and thus manage aggressiveness.

Bibliographic references:

• Azrin, N.H. and Nunn, R.G. (1987). Treatment of nervous habits. Barcelona: Martínez Roca.
• Crespo, M. and Larroy, C. (1998). Behavior modification techniques. Madrid: Dykinson
• Horse, V. (comp.) (1991). Behavior therapy and modification techniques manual. Madrid: XXI century.
• Froján, M.X. (1998). Behavioral consulting. Brief psychological therapy. Madrid: Pyramid.
• Izquierdo, A. (1988). Use of methods and techniques in behavior therapy. Valencia: Promolibro.
• Payne, R.A. (2005). Relaxation techniques. Practical Guide. Badalona: Paidotribo.
• Vallejo, M.A., Fernández-Abascal, E.G. and Labrador, F.J. (1990). Behavior modification: case analysis. Madrid: TEA.