How to strengthen my self-esteem? 5 practical tips

Many times it is spoken of people who have too low self-esteem and who suffer because of it.

However, this idea can lead us to overlook that self-esteem is something dynamic, a psychological phenomenon that we can learn to readjust to be happier. "Having low self-esteem" is not part of the essence of people, it is something that is very circumstantial.

Of course, this fact is used in the field of psychotherapy, where psychology professionals help people to achieve this re-adjustment; But beyond the consultation, people can also learn some basic notions to increase their level of self-esteem. In this article we are going to explore that second option: strengthening one's self-esteem by adopting new habits and routines.

• Related article: "Do you really know what self-esteem is?"

What is self esteem?

Self-esteem is the way we perceive and value ourselves as people. It is about that predisposition to see ourselves in one way or another through concepts such as "good" and "bad", "perfection" and "imperfection", and so on. Of course, the way we build our self-esteem is nuanced and usually has nothing to do with binary categories or clearly mutually exclusive, but in general they are linked to a reference of what it is that we want to become and what it is that we want to avoid to be.

As self-esteem is connected to concepts belonging to the moral sphere, of what it should be and what it should not be, it has a great capacity to mobilize emotions in us. That makes some situations make us feel very bad because we notice that they show that we are far from to be as we would like to be, and others that make us feel “on a cloud” by being proud of something we have done. Thus, self-esteem can both motivate us to get involved in something to feel better about who we are, and paralyzed by the hopelessness we feel in believing that we will never be able to measure up to something.

What problems can a lack of self-esteem cause?

The way in which low self-esteem generates psychological problems (not necessarily severe enough to be considered part of a psychopathology) varies greatly depending on the personality, social context and lifestyle of each individual. But usually, the areas of life that experience the most wear and tear are as follows.

• Insecurities and jealousy in relationships.
• Problems when making friends due to fear of rejection.
• Adoption of a communication style in which assertiveness is lacking.
• Predisposition to develop affective relationships based on dependency.
• Tendency to reject opportunities out of fear of new challenges.

How to strengthen my self-esteem?

These are some guidelines and strategies that can help you regulate your self-esteem upwards.

1. Detach yourself from the people you want to like at all costs

There are cases in which we seek the approval of a person precisely because we notice that they do not value us; These kinds of experiences are a trap that erodes our ability to love and respect ourselves.

Instead of seeking validation from these people, surround yourself with friends who are capable of offering constructive criticism and who won't shut up when they see something positive or admirable in you.

• You may be interested in: "What is the relationship between low self-esteem and emotional dependence?"

2. Stay on track aiming for medium and long-term goals

If you are not showing yourself that you are capable of learning and improving in some aspect of life that is meaningful to you, it is easy for you to reach a stagnant situation that erodes your self-esteem.

Therefore, it is important that you equip your day-to-day with a notion of progress: learn a language, develop coexistence or conflict resolution skills, train yourself in some science in a self-taught way, etc. If you set your rate of progress, you will not get frustrated and you will see first-hand what you are capable of, which will have a positive impact on your self-esteem.

3. Take care of your health

It is a mistake to assume that self-esteem is achieved only through psychological or moral improvement; if you don't take care of your body, you will feel bad emotionally too And that will lead you to adopt a pessimistic perspective about what you do and what happens to you.

For example, look at the difference in your mood when you get enough sleep and when you don't. The same happens with many other factors of physical exhaustion that produce accumulated effects: poor diet, lack of exercise and maintenance of your muscle mass, poor posture, etc.

4. Accept the existence of imperfections in you

Accepting them does not imply assuming that they will always be there (although with some of them, that is inevitable). It is simply assume that those imperfections are there and that you should not obsess over not thinking about them.

That way you will be able to approach them from a constructive point of view, without focusing only on how bad they make you feel, and give a resolution to which you are compensated to transform: improve your empathic listening, develop tolerance for difference, etc.

5. Assume there is nothing wrong with seeking help

Self-esteem is maintained in good condition with the help of others. Therefore, when you need it, seek help from others, either through informal relationships (friends, family ...) or in the context of psychotherapy.

Do you want to strengthen your self-esteem with psychotherapeutic support?

Improving self-esteem is one of the most common intervention focuses in psychotherapy. And it is natural that this is the case, because as we have seen, it gives rise to emotionally very painful situations, and experiences that can give rise to these imbalances are varied: anyone can come to see and value themselves in a dysfunctional. For this reason, psychologists have been developing therapy strategies and techniques for decades. to reinforce the self-esteem of patients and make them learn to self-manage it in a way suitable.

If you are interested in having psychotherapy services to allow you to progress in this area of ​​life, please contact us. On PSiCOBAi We serve people of all ages and offer both face-to-face and online psychotherapy by video call. You will find our psychotherapy center in Majadahonda.