4 keys to overcome shyness at work

Shyness is another aspect of many people's personalities, and as such it can be accepted or even be something to be proud of.

However, in many cases, when shyness occurs at very high levels, it leads to problems in almost all areas of life, also in the professional facet.

In this article we will review several Helpful psychological tips to overcome excessive shyness at work.

• Related article: "Psychology of work and organizations: a profession with a future"

What is shyness?

Shyness is a state of mind characterized by fear of what others think of yourself. For this reason, it usually goes hand in hand with a predisposition to totally or partially avoid certain social interactions with people who are not knows or little is known, and that the idea of ​​being ridiculous or generating rejection causes discomfort even before those you find yourself produce.

Thus, shy people, those who generally show a high level of shyness, they live their social life based on pessimistic predictions about the impression they will make on their interlocutors

or, in certain cases, even those people who look at them without actually engaging in a conversation.

Shyness becomes a trait with such ability to express itself in many situations that it is also considered a personality trait. However, as we will see, it can be modified through learning and experience.

Why can being very shy at work be a problem?

Shyness is not in itself a trait that is always disadvantageous. Although it is true that in most countries of Western culture the fact of being a person timid tends to be seen as a defect, in reality this appreciation has a lot of arbitrary and subjective. For example, in certain Asian countries it is seen as a virtue, and in certain situations it is even useful.

However, as with so many other traits in Psychology, it all depends on the degrees or levels of intensity. Extreme shyness is, in most cases, a source of problems. And even though it is possible to "tame" it over time and learn to overcome itThis is difficult without professional psychological assistance.

In the professional and work context, some of the most frequent problems due to excess shyness are the following:

• Difficulties to "connect" with others outside of the formal relationships of the operation of the company.
• Fear of applying for a job or promotion that involves interacting more with strangers or semi-strangers.
• Fear of breaking bad news can cause problems to pile up in teamwork.
• Serious difficulties to perform in customer service positions, or in commercial tasks.

All these are some of the problems that usually affect very shy people without the need for them to have developed a psychopathology. But if your shyness reaches the point of being considered a symptom of social phobia, there are still more problems to deal with; Those who suffer from this kind of disorder even go away from work or not perform part of their tasks to avoid certain social interactions.

• You may be interested in: "Social phobia: what is it and how to overcome it?"

4 tips to overcome shyness in the professional context

Apply these recommendations to your day-to-day work to learn to overcome your shyness in the work context.

1. Make an estimate of the daily time you spend in informal interactions

For a week or two, roughly quantify the time you spend in informal conversations at breaks and leisure events with coworkers. This will help you establish a “baseline” of what you are used to. Your goal is to tolerate well a significant increase in this average number of minutes per day., being able to expose yourself to it without feeling bad.

2. Look for symmetry in conversations

To avoid a “defensive” attitude in your more or less informal conversations with your work colleagues, it is good that you mentalize yourself with the idea of ​​not adopting a passive role in the dialogues. Make others also think about making a good impression on you: express your opinions with assertiveness, ask questions to get to know your interlocutor better, etc. Definitely, put the ball in his court.

3. Look at the mistakes that others make when talking to other co-workers

Being aware of these small imperfections and realizing that nobody pays too much attention to them will help you to assume that they are normal. so that you lose your fear and stop trying to avoid falling into them at all costs.

4. Write down the important information that must be communicated and consider transmitting it on that day

Setting these very clear time limits will help you not to fall into the temptation of leaving "for another day" those awkward moments when you have to deliver bad news.

Are you looking for psychological assistance?

If you are thinking of overcoming your shyness problem by going to the psychologist, I invite you to contact me. I am an expert psychologist in the cognitive-behavioral model, very effective in adopting new habits and alternative ways of relating to others, and I serve adults and adolescents. You can count on my services both in my office located in Madrid and through online video call sessions.