Children are made to live, not to be competitive

Parents who enroll their children in an enormous amount of school activities, hours dedicated to the homework that is swallow mid-afternoon, the need to make their children stand out in one of the hobbies they we push... Childhood has its own crises and complicationsBut it seems that from adulthood, grains of sand are also being deposited to make this way of life, so carefree and apparently unproductive, soon come to an end.

The goal seems to be to train a generation of "elite children", competent and equipped with loads of skills and competencies that are supposed to make their life easier.

But this trend has very negative psychological consequences.

Putting childhood in check

Some people, when they go through existential crisisThey look back at the way children live life. It is not surprising; the creativity, the spontaneity with which they discover the simplest and most honest ways of acting at all times, their gaze clean of prejudices... they seem to be a characteristic that we enjoyed during the early years.

What happens to this childlike spirit is, to some extent, a mystery. It is not possible to be sure with firmness and total security what it is that little by little that childlike flame that once was in us goes out. However, In certain respects it is not difficult to imagine possible reasons that explain what it is that kills people's childhood, or that this abandon our lifestyle to forced marches. It is not a biological process, but a learned and cultural one: the competitive spirit and the stress it generates.

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We are creating children with curriculum

It is clear that taking responsibility and starting very long term makes the lifestyle (and behavior) of children cannot remain unaltered during the transition to adulthood. However, recently something is happening that did not happen before and that makes children less and less children at an increasingly young age: the competitive spirit has entered the lives of the little ones.

It has its logic, although it is perverse logic. In an increasingly individualistic society where social problems are disguised as individual problems, it is always repeated the same type of messages: "find your life", "be the best" or even "if you were born poor it is not your fault, but if you died poor it is it is". There is the paradox that, in a world in which the place and family in which one is born are the variables that best predict the health and economic status that one will have in adulthood, all pressure is on individual people. Also about the little ones.

And individuals are forced to compete. How can happiness be achieved? Being competitive, as if we were companies, to reach middle age with a certain socioeconomic status. When should you start competing? Sooner.

The way to create children with curriculum, prepared for the law of the jungle that will govern his adult life, he has already been raided. And if left unchecked, it can mean the death of the ability to fully enjoy childhood.

Parents who overreach

Children who end up adapting to the lifestyle imposed by their parents are starting to show signs of stress, and even anxiety attacks occur. Obligations related to homework and extracurricular activities introduce endemic tensions into the lives of children. adult world that, in addition, in many cases are hardly justifiable without pulling the imagination about what could happen in the future.

It is something relatively new and not always easy to detect, as some parents and guardians confuse the fact that that children appear to meet the demanding goals set for them with an indicator of their health and wellness. Thus, schoolchildren between 5 and 12 years old may be performing reasonably well in tasks such as learning to play an instrument or mastering a second language, but in the long term they will suffer stress if the pressure is too high.

Symptoms of this stress, as they are not always very obvious and do not seem serious, can be mistaken as a normal part of the process of raising competitive children. But the truth is that their quality of life will be compromised, and the same will happen with their tendency not to judge each experience according to its usefulness.

Their way of enjoying childhood will be overshadowed by aspirations imposed by parents and that, in reality, they only stand on what adults interpret as "signs of a successful life." They are not so dedicated to ensuring the well-being of their children as to imposing on them an image of the ideal person, to whom all doors will be opened.

Fear of failure

But the pressure and pushing kids toward success is only part of the story. The other is the rejection of what seems to be of no use, which does not bring a clear benefit, regardless of whether it is enjoyable or not. Investing time in being children seems to be valued only as time to rest, relax and regain strength to go back to what really matters: the preparation to enter the competitive world on the right foot, the people.

Similarly, not being the best at something is perceived as a failure that should be hidden by dedicating time and effort. to other things in which it stands out more, in the best of cases, or blaming the child in question of "not wanting to win". The consequences of this are clearly negative: the activity is underestimated as a goal in itself and only the result is valued in comparison to the others.

Showing "weakness" in sports or school performance is considered a source of shame, because it is interpreted as a symptom of possible failures that could be experienced in adulthood. This makes the self-esteem suffers, stress levels skyrocket, and the child feels responsible for not reaching goals that other people have set for them.

Conquering childhood again

Even adults may be able to rescue for themselves many values ​​and habits typical of childhood, so it is even easier for children to enjoy it.

To help make this possible, parents and caregivers only have to adopt another attitude and embrace a type of priorities that do not have competitiveness as a reference. This process involves admitting that, although we adults seem more prepared than anyone when it comes to living life, children are the true specialists in their way of experiencing childhood. Forgive the redundancy.