70 sarcastic quotes from great thinkers and humorists

Life is not always a bed of roses and things will not always turn out the way we wantWell, sometimes we can run into someone who doesn't like us, or someone can run into us, and for some reason, we don't fit in.

Sometimes sarcastic phrases are a good way to say things that can hurt indirectly and in a more intelligent and fun way.

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Great sarcastic phrases for life

Sarcasms often use cliches to make jokes, so no one should be offended by some of these quotes. Humor is a form of communication in which transgression fits.

In the following lines you can find a list of sarcastic and scathing phrases that can be funny to you.

1. Some smoke, some get drunk, some take drugs, and some fall in love. The truth is that everyone is destroyed in their own way

Love can sometimes end in heartbreak, which can cause health problems just like drugs.

2. Sometimes I need what only you can give me: your absence (Ashleigh Brillian)

If you do tell someone, don't expect an overly polite reaction.

3. I don't hold a grudge, but I have a good memory

One can try not to hold a grudge, but memory is sometimes not controlled.

4. I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to get it without dying (Woody Allen)

Poor Woody prefers to be a part of his successes.

5. Your heart is as busy as your phone line

In reference to someone who is in love with another person.

6. Careful! Happiness of two, envy of thousands

When things are going well for you, there will always be someone who will wish you bad.

7. Sometimes I think about who will fall into your arms and I don't know whether to laugh or feel compassion

When someone leaves you and blames you, but in reality the guilty person is the other person.

8. I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go to another room to read a book (Groucho Marx)

One of the most celebrated sarcastic famous quotes.

9. Happy are those who wait for nothing, because they will never be disappointed

Those who live in the moment have a greater chance of being happy.

10. I wanted to ask you for the number of your exes to form a kind of support group

An ironic quote that can upset whoever it is told to.

11. History has taught us that man and nations behave wisely when they have exhausted all alternatives. (Abba Eban)

Irony in the face of the prevailing political warmongering.

12. Create memories and they will bring tears to your eyes

The past must be forgotten because it can hinder one's happiness.

13. I looked you up in the dictionary... and you don't mean anything

For those people who have hurt us.

14. Why should we accept sexual advice from the pope? If you know anything about sex, you shouldn't! (George Bernard Shaw)

He would have violated the law of celibacy.

15. I said 'bring me what you want'... and he only brought me lies (Ray Charles)

In reference to a liar person.

16. Love now, pay later

Heartbreak is one of the most painful experiences that human beings can experience.

17 so many times you let me fall, that I learned to fly

When your partner disappoints you many times, in the end you manage to accept it.

18. There are three things that always come out: the Sun, the Moon and the truth

The truth may be hidden for a time, but not infinitely.

19. Women are like dolphins - scientifically proven to be too smart, but few understand them

An ironic quote about a sexist topic and the complex relationship that men and women can have,

20. Can you help me find something? -What thing? -All the time that I lost with you

Ideal for those relationships that did not end badly.

21. Love is the son of illusion and the father of disappointment (James Scott)

Love is a feeling that floods us and makes us feel really good.

22. You are a perfect artifact of flaws

A play on words that contains a touch of irony.

23. The problem is that people know little, but talk too much (Kurt Smith)

Ignorance often makes us believe that we know more than we do.

24. I am an expert pretending that the opinion of others matters to me

There are individuals who know how to act very well when they are surrounded by other people.

25. If this is love, I prefer to watch television, it is more educational and less possessive

Love, at times, can be unrequited and cause great pain.

26. Many people decide to spend fortunes on their weddings because, in some cases, it is the last day of happiness in their lives.

An irony about life as a couple and marriage.

27. If you believe the last Coca-cola of the desert, I like beer

Meaning that being the last person in the universe, you would have nothing with that person.

28. No one has dominion over love, but he dominates things

Love occupies our life when it occurs, because it is a very intense feeling.

29. Sorry, I thought you were the love of my life... Next!

When you run out of patience with someone you've been with.

30. If someone is unfaithful to you, you will want to jump off the balcony, but remember, you have horns, not wings (Woody Allen)

An ironic quote about infidelity.

31. I am responsible for what I say, not that you understand it (Bob Marley)

We can send a clear message, but if the other person does not interpret it as we wish, then there is nothing we can do.

32. Love is like war: easy to start, hard to finish

A comparison of couple relationships with war conflicts. 33. She thinks she is a princess and does not know in which bed she left the crown

In relation to a woman who thinks that the world revolves around her.

34. Sexual inactivity is dangerous... Produce horns! (Will Smith)

Lack of sex in the couple can lead to infidelity.

35. Saying goodbye was as difficult as writing this sentence

Meaning that, in reality, it did not cost him anything to separate from that person.

36. Your eternity only lasted a couple of months

In relation to a relationship that didn't work out.

37. Someday I'll start what ended

A phrase that talks about procrastination and leaving things for tomorrow.

38. Dear Cupid, more aim next time, see if you find the one

An irony about an unrequited love or a love that didn't work out.

39. If love is blind... Why is underwear so popular? (John Goodman)

A funny reflection on sexuality and intimate relationships.

40. Can't forget the Queen, playing checkers

For those men who cannot get a woman they have loved out of their heads.

41. There are many ways to invoke the devil: by means of a Ouija board, a prayer, an exorcism, or by asking "Are you angry, my love?" (Andreu Buenafuente)

When a couple ends badly, there is not exactly love between the members.

42. I hated you as much as I loved you

It may happen that the more you want, the more rejection that person causes you.

43. It's rude to say "I love you" with a mouth full of lies

For those people who have serious difficulties not to lie.

44. Be careful, any of these days you will call my heart and it will sound busy

A warning that you will not be waiting for that person forever.

45. If you are not going to fulfill, neither illusions nor promises

It is painful when a person tells you what you want to hear but then does not comply.

46. One day you will realize that your children turned out very ugly and you will wonder why you did not marry me (Jon Lajoie)

A message with irony that you are in love with that person.

47. A word of advice: in the future try to be less intelligent... sorry: obvious

When someone wants to hide something but can't.

48. Love is blind let it pass

A comparison of the saying "love is blind" with real blindness.

49. If you don't like her the way I am, change you

A way to tell the other person that you are comfortable with who you are.

50. The woman who is lucky with men, she does not know how lucky she is

Some relationships are very complicated.

51. Before I crossed the ocean for you, today I don't even cross my fingers (Dave Hughes)

There are people who, over time, disappoint us.

52. It's amazing how many problems you could solve with a chainsaw

An irony that can appear in moments of interpersonal conflict.

53. Tomorrow I will take your opinion into account, today I am not interested

When you know that you are right but the other person does not want to see it.

54. I do not understand people who are happy and who still do not know me, really, I do not understand

An irony that is typical of a narcissistic person.

55. There are people who from the first moment you see them, you know that you want to spend the rest of your life... without seeing them again.

When someone does not like you and you prefer to have that person away from your life.

56. Tell me, does your pride kiss better than me?

This phrase can be said when the person fully trusts the way he has to kiss.

57. We are all idiots sometimes, but some people take it as a way of life. You for example

A polite way to tell someone that her attitude is not the most appropriate.

58. You are living proof that a man can live without a brain

As in the previous sentence, a very polite way to tell someone that they are not exactly smart.

59. Expect from me, what I get from you

It is not one of the most sarcastic phrases on this list, but used well it can be useful.

60. Everything is laughter, sex and fun until he asks you… what are we?

There are people who simply do not want to have anything serious with anyone.

61. I googled: "Infidelity" and guess... I got your name

A fun way to tell someone that they are unfaithful to the core.

62. The most effective laxative in the world is called "we have to talk" (Dave Chapelle)

The phrase "we have to talk" can be a cause for concern for those who are hiding something.

63. Criticizing my flaws will not diminish yours (Jack Black)

There are individuals who prefer to project their failures onto others.

64. My tears are 1% water and 99% your imbecilities

When the person who makes you cry is immature and the fault is theirs.

65. Do not worry about what I have, do it for what you lack

Free interpretation.

66. The problem with being sarcastic is that sometimes people reject me, and since I care a lot about their opinion, I get very sad

An irony to tell the world that you are not going to cry whatever they say.

67. No, seriously, keep me telling your story. In fact, yawning is my favorite way to show how much I care to hear you.

For when someone bores you and you don't want to hurt their feelings.

68. You were the best part of my worst mistake

We don't always find the right person for love, but you learn from everything.

69. It turns out that your opinions do not give good results, better use mine

When the opinion of others is not good, this phrase can be used.

70. What would life be like without the opportunity to make stupid decisions (Doctor House)

A good way to look at life with optimism and not feel like a failure in the face of mistakes.