6 good tips (and habits) to boost your self-esteem

Self-esteem is one of the psychological constructs that has been most addressed since Abraham Maslow included it as a fundamental component in his Hierarchy of Human Needs (1943).

Very numerous have been the authors who have confirmed the relationship between self-esteem and emotional well-being, among which it is worth highlighting Carl Rogers (psychologist who proposed the theory of personality from the humanist current), Albert Ellis (creator of Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy) or M. Rosenberg (author of one of the benchmark self-reports on self-esteem, the Rosenberg Self-Esteem Scale) among others.

• Related article: "16 books on self-esteem and self-improvement"

Boost self-esteem through psychological habits

Let's see how much of the theoretical knowledge acquired on this area can be applied in a practical and simple way on a day-to-day basis to make our self-esteem grow.

1. Make decisions without delay 

Concerns arising from life problems and events tend to be more frequent during the time between the occurrence of the particular situation and its resolution. Therefore, it is highly recommended

avoid postponing coping with the event in such a way as to avoid excessively feeding the processes of repeated rumination.

A good tool can be found in the Problem Solving Model proposed by D’Zurilla and Goldfried (1971) which consists of a process of five phases where it is reflected on: the elaboration of an adequate general orientation to the problem, the concretion of a definition and formulation of the problem, the proposal for the generation of alternatives, the decision-making itself and a last stage of verification of the chosen solution.

• You may be interested: "Procrastination or the "I'll do it tomorrow" syndrome: what it is and how to prevent it"

2. Decreases cognitive dissonance

The cognitive dissonance is a concept proposed by the social psychologist L. Festinger (1959) to explain the state of tension that an individual experiences when his belief system conflicts with their actual behavior, negatively influencing the modification of the attitudes of the subject.

Given this fact, the person tries to generate a new set of cognitions consistent with his behavior in order to decrease discomfort caused by discrepancy initial through: an attitudinal change, the addition of information consonant between beliefs and behaviors, or the trivialization of expressed attitudes or behaviors.

Ultimately, this rigorous theory highlights the importance of coherence between thoughts (one's own values) and actions applied in practice; the higher the level of discrepancy, the higher the level of personal psychological distress.

3. Identify and transform your limiting beliefs

Hemmi (2013) in her work develops the concepts limiting beliefs (CL) vs. powerful beliefs (PC) defining them as two types of cognitions that the person has about himself and that are determinant in the level of low and high self-esteem, respectively. Specifically, limiting beliefs refer to the set of negative ideas that an individual presents about himself and that reflect a low degree of confidence in the achievement of vital objectives.

On the contrary, powerful beliefs are characterized by endowing the person with a positive and optimistic global belief system about their own qualities, which is why they are facilitators in the company of projects and initiatives that the subject proposes throughout his life. lifetime.

A good reflection exercise to carry out the transformation of limiting ideas into powerful ideas can be, as Hemmi puts it, the realization of a list of all the LC in the different areas of life (family of origin, family generated, friends, environment professional and society) the questioning about its logic or veracity and the substitution by a new group of PC, also applied to the five indicated areas. From all this, the person must internalize them and give them a greater emotional weight.

• You may be interested: "Self-concept: what is it and how is it formed?"

4. Start a gratitude journal

Evolutionarily, the human being has shown an important tendency to retain information related to emotions more clearly in memory intense such as fear or anger, to the detriment of other more neutral data, not so useful in achieving their own survival.

At present, although the context has changed, it seems a common practice in people who present a functioning of low self-esteem, depresogenic or characterized by multiple concerns, the presence of a cognitive-attentional bias that leads them to remember in a much more meaningful way the pessimistic, unpleasant or negative aspects of the day to day.

A scientifically proven conclusion in recent research conducted at the American University of Kentucky (2012) and elsewhere publications in specific journals such as Emotion (2014) Personality and Individual Differences (2012) or Journal of Applied Sport Psychology (2014) confirm the link between the practice of daily gratitude and an increase in the level of self-esteem.

Thus, according to these findings, a strategy to apply on a day-to-day basis may consist of starting a diary. gratitude staff where the expressions of gratitude expressed towards himself and / or directed to the the rest.

• Related article: "60 phrases of thanks and gratitude to give thanks"

5. Eliminate the "always", "never", "everything", "nothing"

Aaron Beck proposed in the seventies his own model where he exposed, among other foundations, the cognitive biases that occur in depressive disorders, the so-called cognitive distortions. These are collected in a list of distorted ideas among which "dichotomous thinking" and "should" stand out.

In the first case, the events that happen are valued in an extreme way, without nuances, for example: "My friend has not called me, nobody loves me." In the second, the subject has rigid and excessively demanding rules about how what should happen. What happens, for example: «I obtained a notable in the exam and should have reached excellent, I am a Useless".

Usually, these types of thoughts are not objectively founded and do not conform to the reality, for which it is recommended to question this type of beliefs and a work emotional enhancing self-acceptance and reducing self-demand (which tends to diminish the quality of one's personal image).

Thus, the ultimate goal resides in modifying and replacing these types of ideas with more rational, logical and less catastrophic ones.

6. Do enjoyable activities regularly 

At the biochemical level, the substances that are secreted in a greater proportion when the individual performs activities that are interesting to them, motivating and possess a rewarding effect are adrenaline, endorphins (hormones both that modulate mood) and the serotonin (neurotransmitter involved in sexual processes, sleep and emotional response).

For this reason, it may be highly recommended to prepare a small list of pleasant activities of a different nature which can be practiced daily: individual activities (a bubble bath), in company (a dinner with friends), activities of enrichment based on personal concerns (start a language course), self-care activities (wear a garment of the preferred color) etc.

In most cases, it is not a question of thinking in occupations with complex realization, but of small actions that act as "a pleasant whim" and therefore enhance one's own wellness.

Bibliographic references:

• Baron R. and Byrne, D. (1998): Social Psychology. Madrid: Ed. Pearson.

• Hemmi, M (2013) Do you dare to dream? Barcelona: Ed. Paidós.

• Labrador, F. J., Cruzado, J.A. and Muñoz, M. (1998): Manual of behavior modification and therapy techniques. Madrid: Editorial Pirámide.

• Méndez Carrillo, F., Olivares R., J. and Moreno G., P. (1999): Behavior Modification Techniques. 2nd Edition. Madrid: Editorial Biblioteca Nueva.

• Quiceno, Japcy Margarita, & Vinaccia, Stefano. (2014). Quality of life in adolescents: analysis from personal strengths and negative emotions. Psychological Therapy, 32 (3), 185-200.

• Toepfer, S. M., Cichy, K., & Peters, P. (2012). Letters of gratitude: Further evidence for author benefits. Journal of Happiness Studies, 13 (1), 187-201.