The key skill to make better decisions in life

In this article I am going to talk about what I have considered, from my experiences in psychotherapy, the most decisive skill in terms of conditioning the quality of life of a person and the enjoyment of it. We could say that it is the most descriptive ability of the trait popularly known as “maturity”.

And what is that ability? I tell you. It is the ability to delay an immediate prize or reward in favor of a larger long-term reward.

Next I will tell you about some experiments and other real situations in which this capacity is key, and how in many cases it determines the quality of a person's decisions throughout their lifetime. Let us understand "good decisions" as the most adaptive and functional actions, according to the context. We are not talking about wealth, for example.

• Related article: "The 14 most important types of addictions"

An experiment with children (and candy)

In the 1960s, a renowned Stanford University psychologist named Walter mischel, coordinated a series of experiments with the aim of studying the capacity

delay instant rewards in children, in favor of later higher reward.

It is very possible that you have ever seen a video related to that experiment, as they are very popular. Basically, the experiments involved children, who were left alone for 15 minutes in a room (monitored with a hidden camera) with some sweets in front of them.

Before leaving the room and leaving the child alone with the candies, the adult explained to the child that if he did not eat the candy (immediate reward), would receive even more when the adult returned to the room (higher reward overdue in the weather). The decision that ends up bringing more candy to the child in the long run could be considered smarter.

These experiments were very popular at the time, but they did not achieve the expected success in terms of scientific conclusions. Mischel and his collaborators tried. demonstrate the correlation between the tendency to defer rewards with success in other areas in adult life.

However, they failed to demonstrate his conclusions in later replications of the experiments, since other factors such as the socioeconomic status of the family, etc., were not taken into account

Implications of this ability in psychological problems

Although the experiments with children failed to demonstrate the correlations they intended, it cannot be denied that it is a determining skill in adult life.

In the therapeutic context, many situations are observed in which the ability to focus on long-term rewards is vital to a person's mental health throughout their life.

In the addiction field, it is practically the paradigm. One of the key elements of any addiction is the inability of the person to give up use (or addictive activity) in pursuit of long-term rewards.

Basically the pleasant effects that the drug or addictive activity provide to the person, overshadow the rest of activities (time with family, exercise, work life, etc).

Among many other aspects, therapy works to help the person regain their ability to blocking instant gratifications (drugs) based on a greater but later good (physical health and mental).

It also occurs in the management of other more daily objectives, such as dieting or establishing healthier habits in our lives.. Knowing how to say no to a chocolate muffin in pursuit of the long-term goal (the ideal weight, an aesthetic or sports goal, etc.).

You can find many more examples, to explain the poor adherence of some people to habits safer and healthier, such as throwing the plastics in the assigned containers, eating healthy, quitting smoking, etc.

• You may be interested in: "How to control impulsivity? 8 tips that help "

The biggest obstacle to the threat of the pandemic

We all witnessed recent examples. During the first months of the COVID-19 pandemic, some people ignored health recommendations, by which they could save lives around them and safeguard the safety of the entire population.

In this example, some people were ignorant of the long-term reward (individual and collective health) for their inability to forgo pleasures immediate events such as going to a disco, celebrating the promotion of a soccer team, going to the plaza on the night of San Juan, or concentrating many people in a same space.

Some very immature people just couldn't put those things off for after the pandemic. “I want the candy now, not later. I'm not willing to wait, even though I know I'll get more candy later. I want it now".

Each person must put things on a scale, and make decisions every day. The ability to not be "blinded" by immediate pleasures is vital to making better decisions, according to the context and circumstances, according to the real needs of the individual and society.

Psychologist in Valencia (or online therapy)

If you experience any kind of psychological problem, I can help you. You will find my contact information in this page, or on my website luismiguelreal.es.