10 tips to better fit criticism

We all get criticism from time to time. Sometimes they may not be true, but at other times they can help us to ask ourselves what we are doing wrong. It is not the same that they criticize us to the face and explaining the reasons for the criticism, than doing it in a public place in front of other people and without explaining what they consider we have done wrong. But what to do in those situations where they make us look foolish? Do we pretend we haven't heard it? Do we get angry and let the situation get out of hand?

You may not be able to prevent someone from criticizing you, but what you can do is change the way you perceive criticism. When you find yourself in this situation, we invite you to try these 10 tips to better fit criticism. You will surely appreciate it!

1. Evaluate the criticism and the person making it

It is important to be objective to know how to respond and act. There is a big difference between constructive criticism and criticism from someone who only wants to hurt you to discredit you. Therefore, Evaluate if what that person says is true.

What to do: Try to get away from the situation and lower your ego, just as if the situation was happening to someone else and not to you. Take a deep breath and don't get carried away by anger.

2. Recognize your emotions

The pressure of the moment can dominate you if you are not able to recognize your emotions or what bothers you about the criticism. When someone hurts you, especially someone close to you, it is still best to let it go to avoid unnecessary confrontation. But it is important that you recognize those emotions because they can tell you that something is not right. If you don't pay attention to your emotions, the problem may grow larger and even eternal. Acknowledging the message they send you is the beginning of being able to deal with problems appropriately.

What to do: Before you get carried away, pay attention to what your emotions are trying to tell you. Ask yourself: If this emotion could speak now, what would it say? What would I do? Or… What can I do to get out of this situation in a relaxed way?

3. Set clear limits on habitual critics

You can decide who and what you tolerate in your life. Because both in your personal life and at work you can meet people who criticize you, but you decide the limits you put on that person and how you will feel about what they say about you. It is good for your well-being that you stay away from this type of toxic peopleas it can affect you emotionally. At work it can have a negative impact on your performance, your creativity and it can harm a good work environment.

What to do: Decide what you are going to do if the critic continues with the criticism. Try to let him know, calmly and delicately, that you are not willing to tolerate this situation. For example, you can tell him that this time you are going to let it go, but if it happens again the relationship with that person will end. When you imply where the limit is, you make yourself respected. Make sure to take the action if it happens again.

4. Search for the hidden truth

Nearby people, co-workers or someone in line at the supermarket can respond to our actions, and their behaviors can reflect our own words. Their criticism, however harsh or spiteful, may hide some aspect of our own behavior that we have refused to see, but which may be true. For a critic to be constructive, look for that hidden truth, even if it is not always easy to accept it.

What to do: Instead of reacting in anger to criticism, have the courage to ask yourself: Is this criticism true? Then ask yourself again or ask the other person if there is something you can do so that they are not offended.

5. Don't let them tell lies about you

When someone spreads rumors or lies that can affect your work or relationships, you cannot ignore it. In these cases, it is better that you face the problem head-on to clear your name.

What to do: To keep your mind clear, take a few deep breaths and grab a piece of paper. On one side, write the rumor or the lie. On the other side, write the lie exactly as you see it. Meet with those people who may have misinterpreted your actions or words and calmly explain how you feel and what really happened. Believe it or not, at least you have been able to defend yourself, so you can move on with your life.

6. Solve problems from the heart

If you speak from the heart and honestly, it is much better than reacting impulsively and spitefully. Acting like this makes you a great person, and does not allow the situation to get worse

What to do: In difficult situations reconnect with yourself and your heart. Just close your eyes and breathe. Think of something beautiful or something to be deeply grateful for. Once the anger has passed, return to the problem and ask yourself: What can I do to resolve this situation? What is my next step? Listen to the answers that come from your heart.

7. Follow your road

When an insult from someone immature reaches you, instead of making you adopt the role of victim, go your way. Don't let criticism distract you from your goals. Think of those comments as mere noise.

What to do: Don't let damaging criticism get to you, and don't let all critics knock you out of the game. Not all criticism demands an answer. Stay focused on keeping important things in your life so that you can continue to give a lot to others.

8. Open your heart to the critics

Sometimes what affects you is not your fault. The person who criticizes you may have a self-esteem problem or is going through a bad time. On these occasions, it may be their way of saying they need help. For example, your roommate may be having a hard time with his partner and criticize you for not picking up the dishes. In this case, you may be in his sights for being a person close to him, but what really happens to him is that he is not able to handle so much emotional pain. Hold out your hand instead of fighting him.

What to do: When you detect that this may be the problem, ask what is wrong with him. You can also tell him that you know that he is having a bad time and that this is affecting your relationship.

9. Be polite but firm in public

Humiliation, whether from a boss or a co-worker at a meeting, or from a family member, can be embarrassing and uncomfortable. Don't criticize or fight critics. This will only harm you. Be courteous, calm, and control your impulses.

What to do: If someone has legitimate reasons but has verbalized them in the wrong way, smile and say something to break the tension and also adds: “If there is something that has bothered you, I would like to talk about it with you more late".

10. Don't take it personally

If you've listened to the advice above and adjusted your behavior but they keep criticizing you, it's time to move on. Unfortunately, some people criticize to project their own problems onto others. So don't take it personally.

What to do: Instead of wasting your energy and attention on critical comments, free yourself from them, accept them, let them go, and get on with your life.