Emperor Syndrome: aggressive and authoritarian children

Changes in the sociocultural and work environment in recent decades have paved the way for the emergence of some dysfunctional behaviors in children.

One of the sets of attitudes and behaviors that most concern parents is that of the child who becomes the undisputed master of the family, subjecting the other members of the family to their demands and whims.

Do you know the Emperor's syndrome'?

Educational psychologists have already called Emperor Syndrome to the 'child emperors', who choose what food to cook, where the family will travel to spend the holidays, the television station that is watched at home, the hours to go to sleep or to carry out different activities, and so on.

In professional contexts, Emperor Syndrome is called Oppositional defiant disorder (TOD).

To achieve their goals, they yell, threaten, and physically and psychologically attack their parents. It could be said that their maturational level in the field of empathy (that ability to put yourself in the other person's shoes) is underdeveloped. For this reason it seems that they are not capable of experiencing feelings such as love, guilt,

forgiveness or compassion.

Entering the mind of the authoritarian child

This phenomenon has received the name of 'Emperor Syndrome', since emperor children establish behavioral and interpersonal guidelines to privilege their whims and demands above the authority of their parents or guardians. Whoever does not comply with the child's imperatives is the victim of scandalous tantrums and even assaults.

The violence that children exercise towards their parents, learning to control them psychologically, results in getting them to obey and fulfill their wishes. This characteristic in the personality of children has also been called "dictator children" because of the undeniable dominance they exercise within the family.

Symptoms

Child emperors are easily distinguishable: they often display personality traits typical of the egocentrism and they have a meagerfrustration tolerance: they do not conceive that their demands are not met. These traits do not go unnoticed in the family environment, and much less in the school environment, where their demands may be less satisfied.

They are children who have not learned to control themselves or to regulate their own feelings and emotions. They have the expertise to know the weaknesses of their parents, whom they end up manipulating based on threats, attacks and fickle arguments.

Causes

Although some research has tried to elucidate the genetic causes of this syndrome, the truth is that there is a great consensus among the scientific community that Emperor Syndrome has causes from psychosocial origin. In this way, the decisive influence of the change in the labor and social model is pointed out, a factor that affects the quantity and quality of time that parents can dedicate to their children.

Many educational psychologists and educational psychologists have emphasized that one of the parenting factors that can result in the child acquiring behavioral patterns of the Emperor Syndrome is the short time of the parents for educate and set standards and limits to their offspring. Economic needs and the unstable labor market do not offer tutors the time and space necessary to upbringing, causing an educational style of culpogenic type, and being prone to consent and overprotect children.

A lack of affective family habits, neglecting the need to play and interact with children. Socially, one of the problems that serves as a breeding ground for self-centered behavior Infantile is the ultra-permissive attitude of adults towards children.

• You may be interested in reading this post: "10 strategies to improve your child's self-esteem"

Differentiating between Authority and Authoritarianism

The educational style prevailing decades ago was based on the authoritarianism: parents who yelled, dictated orders, and exercised punitive control over their children's behaviors. In a way, out of fear of falling back into that style that many suffered in their own flesh, the current educational style has turned to the opposite extreme: ultrapermissivity.

That is why it is important to remember that authority is not the same as authoritarianism: parents must exercise a degree controlled and intelligent authority, in a healthy way and adapting to the educational and evolutionary needs of each boy.

The culture of anything goes: the ethics of hedonism and consumerism

When we speak of education and educational styles for our children, it is necessary to remember the crucial influence of moral values society as a whole, since this superstructural form of shared ethics will promote certain vices and / or virtues in the child's attitude.

The consumer culture Today, hedonism and the need for leisure and promptness are championed as inalienable values. This collides with any type of internal or external imposition of responsibility on one's actions and with the culture of effort. If these values ​​are not well managed and redirected, the child erroneously learns that her right to have fun or to do what pleasure can override the right of others to be respected, and they lose the notion that rewards require effort previous.

Family and school education

Doubtful parents who exercise a passive and lax education, neglect to establish frames of reference for the children's behavior, always allowing them to reply, yielding to their blackmails and being victims of verbal and physical attacks.

The education system it is saturated too. While parents have already yielded all their authority, teachers find themselves in the position of setting limits to children who have been brought up to disobey and challenge them in pursuit of their demands. It is the case that teachers who try to set standards receive disapproval and complaints from parents, who do not allow anyone to exercise any authority over their children. This reinforces and consolidates the child emperor in his attitude.

The boy emperor in adolescence

In the adolescent stage, the child emperors have consolidated their behavioral and moral guidelines, being incapable of conceiving some type of external authority that imposes certain limits on them. In the most serious cases, they can attack their parents, being a widely reported complaint in the police stations and increasingly frequent. In fact, it is the mothers who bear the brunt, who suffer, comparatively, the highest proportion of aggressions and humiliations by their children.

Building a good education from childhood

Professionals in psychology, psychopedagogy and mental health agree that it is essential to forge a solid foundation in the education of children. To educate future healthy, free and responsible children, adolescents and adults, it is necessary not to renounce set clear limits, allow children to experience a certain degree of frustration so that they can understand that the world does not revolve around their ego, and to gradually instill in them the culture of effort and respect for other people. Only then will they be able to tolerate frustration, commit to their goals and strive to achieve their goals, becoming aware of the value of things.

For more information on practical tips to avoid having an emperor child, we recently published this article:

• "The 8 basic tips to avoid spoiling your child"

A psychologist tells us about Emperor Syndrome

Vicente Garrido, prisologist and criminologist from the University of Valencia, offers us his professional vision on child tyrants in a complete interview on EiTB.

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• García Galera, Mª del C. (2000). Television, violence and childhood. The impact of media.
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• Piaget, J. (1987). The moral judgment of the child. Barcelona: Martínez Roca.
• Pinker, S. (2001). The instinct of language. Madrid: Editorial Alliance.