4 very common self-esteem problems and how to manage them

Self-esteem problems are at the root of many psychological problems that people experience. Without needing to go hand in hand with mental disorders, these kinds of pessimistic appraisals about make oneself more likely to lead an unsatisfying life, focused on little goals. ambitious.

In this article we will review several of the most common self-esteem problems, as well as possible strategies to manage them and make them fade.

• Related article. "Low selfsteem? When you become your worst enemy"

The importance of self-image

Personal relationships may be complicated, but in many cases those relationships that we establish with ourselves are even more so. With the idea of ​​the "I" that each of us houses inside.

And it is that self-esteem problems are one of the most frequent causes of psychological discomfort. This kind of uncomfortable, anxious or source of real emotional pain comes from a set of beliefs that in psychology is called self-concept, or self-image, and that contains all those ideas about oneself, the adjectives that define the "I".

Self-concept is not something we contemplate coldly, as a scientist would look at a sample through a microscope, but it always carries an emotional charge. We call this aspect of self-concept that has to do with how we feel about the idea we have about our identity, self-esteem.

Thus, self-esteem problems are those situations that appear when the way we value self-concept is very pessimistic, and makes us feel anxious, disgusted or other sensations and feelings every time we remember who we are.

• You may be interested: "Self-concept: what is it and how is it formed?"

Self-esteem problems, and possible solutions

To know how to deal with this kind of discomfort, it is good to know the main types of self-esteem problems. Let's see what they are.

1. The complexes due to lack of talent

It is very possible that a good part of the problems of self-esteem appear before the belief that one does not have talent to do something important for oneself. From this perspective, there is something that is beyond one's control and that impedes or makes it very difficult to progress in a given field of knowledge or training.

In this type of self-esteem problems, not only sadness appears for not reaching the goals that one sets for oneself, but also feels that time is wasted on something that will never bear the expected results.

However, it must be borne in mind that talent is simply the fruit of trying hard for a long time, and that the fact of not making progress in something is usually indicative that, simply, that task does not motivate the enough. Now, for this idea to take effect by improving the level of self-esteem, it is necessary to go through a cognitive restructuring, as we will see.

2. Constant comparison

Those who are obsessed with comparing themselves all the time with others, ends up finding a thousand examples of people who, in general terms, seem to be superior to themselves in every way.

The good news is that the information we have about others is always insufficient and too biased to issue valid evaluative opinions about them. The bad news is that whoever gives enough importance to these types of questions will probably be unable to take this reasoning into account, and simply will repeatedly think about how bad oneself is compared to others.

3. Feelings of guilt

Blaming yourself for mistakes you've made in the past, whether for doing something or not doing it, is a common source of self-esteem issues. Life gives us many opportunities to fail, and sometimes the feeling of guilt remains entrenched.

Although apparently this feeling speaks to us of the recognition of something that should not have happened, it does not always translate into the will to avoid falling into the same kind of mistakes. But, when you do try to compensate for the situation, this is a way in itself to solve the problem of self-esteem, if the self-concept is managed in an appropriate way.

4. Believe the slights of others

The cruelty of other people can infiltrate the way we think about ourselves. For this reason, many victims of abuse or bullying believe they deserve what happens to them, for example.

The point is that when there are frequent signs that someone is putting us down, We tend to believe that there really are valid reasons for being despised. If we add to this that abuse often does not occur in isolation, but rather a whole collective or social circle participates in it, the signs that we should hate ourselves are multiply.

How to end the discomfort?

The most serious and obvious cases of self-esteem problems should be treated by psychologists, since they have the resources to do something much needed in these cases: help us change the way we think about ourselves, and make us adopt habits consistent with a level of self-esteem normal.

These two courses of action, typical of the cognitive behavioral therapy, allow you to return to normality in a matter of weeks or a few months.