The value of emotions

What is the reason for emotions?

To answer this, it is necessary to understand what emotions are, why they appear to us and in what way.

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What is the value of emotions?

Emotions are responses that we have to events, but preceded by cognitions that can be more or less conscious. Therefore, emotions have, in a sense, a cognitive dimension, since they involve thoughts, beliefs, judgments and evaluations.

These are fundamental, because without them we could not remember, learn or have social relationships... Their function it was very adaptive and useful for our ancestors because if a predatory animal came, they felt fear and left in a hurry.

But, to this day... We have to know what to do with our emotions in each situation because, for example, we cannot run away if we are afraid that our boss will throw us out of our job. And, furthermore, we live in a world so fast that we do not have the time or the space to give our emotions and attend to them…. It is then that they are perpetuated, they become chronic and suffering appears.

These develop physiological expressions and are accompanied by reactions of pleasure or pain according to the valence that is given in relation to the coping that is done. And for this reason, depending on how all of the above arises, finally the emotions induce certain actions; depending on how we take and manage them.

Good or bad? The judgments

Normally we have always associated certain emotions with negative aspects and others with positive aspects. But we've really made it that way because of the way we value or manage those emotions. They do not teach us how to manage anxiety or sadness when they really are just as valuable as joy and surprise..

Normally we get distressed when we feel “negative emotions” due to not knowing how to give them space... We simply try to avoid them and not enter them; that's when they get bigger, more intense ...

Usually we resist feeling certain emotions because we have certain preconceived ideas about ourselves that are idealized and not real. This way of dealing with emotions promotes security in the short term, but in the long run it can cause deterioration, immobility and frustration.

Basic emotions

Although the emotional universe of humans is vast and complex (much has been written about it in recent years in fields such as psychology or medicine) let's focus on four basic and universal emotions related to stress: fear, anger, sadness and joy. Below we summarize its manifestations, expression, utility, limitations, temporal focus and distortions.

• Fear: helps us discern dangers, flee from dangers, protect loved ones, plan and prepare, and caution.
• Rage: defending your loved ones and rights, setting limits, facing dangers and enemies, competitiveness, exceeding yourself and taking risks.
• Sadness: take losses, heal psychological wounds, ask for help and give help, reflect, and learn from mistakes.
• Joy: nurture, grow, develop, create social bonds, creativity, participate, innovate, discover, motivate and strive.

What to do with the emotions?

For emotional management it is essential, in the first place, to work on the prejudices that we have towards certain emotions. Because if we anchor ourselves in the thought and in the self-demand that we cannot feel certain emotions, we will not be able to move forward.

Many times we anchor and block with certain emotions because we want to find reasons why it appears to us, from a place of anger. And this has to do with the sense of identity because we have preconceived ideas of ourselves. themselves and, for example... if one day anxiety appears in a person who thinks he is strong, he will not feel it.

Behind every emotion there is a message. Emotions appear as a reaction to what we are experiencing, therefore... we must pay special attention to these processes and pay attention to what happens to us inside. Ask ourselves what this emotion means to us, why it is appearing to us at that moment.

Only from here is where we can transform emotions into a place where things can be better understood. Because emotions are excellent vehicles for change. They help us grow and have better ideas of who we are. When we take responsibility for them, even if there is some risk in the short term... in the long term there will be strength, resilience, health and well-being.

But this commented above can only be carried out when we know how to make a good managing emotions, thus relying on our resources to get through the discomfort of this process. Because crises and suffering (in safe conditions), can transform pain into resilience, health and well-being.

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Strategies for emotional management

The main step to be able to carry out a good emotional management is not to react, but to respond with awareness and calm to them. Therefore, the following steps are necessary:

1. Create a pause between stimulus and response

This helps not to react impulsively, but to do this process more calmly and pause... to freely decide how and with what resources to act and not respond automatically.

2. Direct attention inward

It is advisable to direct your attention towards what is moving within you and really see what you are feeling, give it a name, recognize it.

3. Understand why we are feeling such emotion

Finding the utility and what message this emotion wants to tell us.

4. Accept that we are having that emotion and all its nuances

Only from acceptance and not from resistance, it is from where change and development can arise.

5. Modulate the response

What can we do with this, to feel better? Apply the transformation. Each emotion and emotional process will have its best response for each person and context.

Depending on the context and with special care, we can attend to the effect of emotion and its expression both on oneself and on others. Only then can we decide what emotions we want to express and with whom we want to do it.

Finally, those that we do not want to express, we will let them pass until they weaken, trying to use the strategies that most agree and help to overcome this discomfort (a pleasant or relaxing activity, breathing, meditation, socializing, venting with sport, etc).