Brothers in diversity

When we talk about diversity, the reality is that as a general rule we focus on the protagonist boy, girl, in your rights, your capacities, your abilities and what you need so that the environment, society, recognize you.

We also focus on their parents, on the process and the path they go through when they receive the news, on the need for accompaniment, to form a tribe with other families to share experiences and experiences. In the struggle they go through in all areas to feel that their son or daughter will be fine tomorrow. But there is a fundamental part of the family that should be talked about more and more contemplated. Brothers.

It is true that more and more Associations and Foundations, Entities, have this indispensable member of the family in mind. From them, meetings, trainings, places are organized to be able to know other realities, share and recognize each other. They / they manifest the benefits that these encounters entail.

In this article, we want take into account the brothers and sisters who live in diversity

and respond to some important aspects that occur within the family nucleus.

• Related article: "Educational psychology: definition, concepts and theories"

Brothers living together in diversity

A sibling, by definition, is one of the most important ties we have within the family nucleus. As a general rule, a strong bond is created with our sibling. He is our equal and at the same time he can be our greatest protector or the person whom we cannot help but feel that we must take care of.

A sibling in diversity, can be confused within all these emotions, for not understanding the situation that exists in the family. Feeling that her brother is not like he / she in some things, can produce doubts and uncertainty. Not understanding why times are different for one or the other. Perhaps you may even feel jealous, due to the greater need for care that your sibling with diversity has.

Faced with all these emotions, the family should try to keep in mind and respond to all possible situations that may arise over time, but especially in the first stage of its development, and thus ensure a climate of trust, dialogue and connection.

Here we suggest some tips to keep in mind to be able to do this accompaniment to the brother / sister in this process through which they also go through.

1. Answering all the questions that arise is perhaps the most important

It is necessary to adapt to their maturity level to be able to do so and adjust the information so that it is understandable.

2. Recognize your own limitations together

Perhaps, at certain times we do not have the answer to the concern that they pose us, and at those times we must also explain that there are things we do not know about health, the future, etc..

• You may be interested in: "What is inclusion and how is it reflected in education?"

3. Don't give up quality time together

Sometimes, the moments of leisure / attention of the siblings are reduced by the therapies, sessions or care of the sibling with diversity. This aspect is very important to take into account, and for be able to make up for those times, we can propose moments of exclusive care for the sibling, special family activities or leisure alternatives that can fit into the family dynamics.

4. Recognize that jealousy may arise

We must also recognize the possible appearance of jealousy, for the attentions, occasional overprotection, or dedication towards the sibling with diversity. In this sense, it is necessary:

• Recognize the emotions of the brother / sister, validate them and offer the opportunity to express what she feels.
• Listen to what they need and give a response adjusted and agreed with him / her to her requests.
• In many cases, proposing exclusive moments with them may be a good option (for example, while the sibling is in therapy).
• We can also propose that they invite their friends from school to their home to share leisure, in a way adjusted to the reality of the family.

5. Adapt to your pace of development

Must avoid overloading the sibling with responsibilities that do not correspond to their age or maturity or vital moment. You are a child or adolescent and as such you must follow a lifestyle appropriate to your age.

6. Recognize progress

And last but perhaps a very important aspect is give value and recognize the achievements they achieve.

Sometimes, we can fall, without realizing it, in the recognition of the achievements of the children with diversity and not give as much value to those achieved by the brother / sister.

Author: Irene de la Granja Muñoz, Teacher in Special Education and Master in Psychopedagogy.