How does psychotherapy help in a divorce?

Divorce is a concept that we usually associate with painful feelings and negative emotions, such as sadness, melancholy or even anger. Although it is true that many times the experience is accompanied by these psychological elements, no one is predestined to see their quality of life damaged for weeks by the end of a marriage: there are emotional management strategies that go a long way towards situations.

Psychological therapy is the context in which people can learn to internalize those emotional management skills when going through a separation or divorce, but Unfortunately, not all people know this: there are those who assume that the work of psychologists is limited to the care of patients with mental disorders or to the care of couples in crisis. Nothing is further from reality; in this article we will see how you work in psychotherapy not only to minimize the chances of ending in separation or divorce, but also to know how to adapt to a divorce.

• Related article: "How do you know when to go to couples therapy? 5 compelling reasons "

Preventing separation: work in couples therapy

As the name suggests, Couples therapy is the type of psychological assistance aimed at caring for couples in crisis, and its main objective is to improve the relationship between both people by helping them internalize more appropriate styles of interaction, coexistence and communication. That is why it helps reduce the chances of ending up in divorce or separation, through the following areas of work:

• Conflict management skills training.
• Creation of a space in which to discuss sensitive or “taboo” topics.
• Search for reconciliation in the face of past grievances.
• Detection of bad dynamics in the way of living together (for example, unequal distribution of responsibilities).
• Learning assertive ways of expressing emotions.

As we have seen, couples therapy works to improve as much as possible the way in which the people involved in the relationship communicate, coexist and express their emotions and feelings, so that it is easier for the love bond to be reinforced day by day.

However, it is not entirely correct to assume that the goal of couples therapy is to avoid at all costs that the courtship or marriage comes to an end: also helps to recognize the cases in which the most beneficial solution for both is to end that kind of bond and move on to another outside the concept of "boyfriends" or "marriage". Do not forget that a relationship can exist beyond these labels, and separating or divorcing does not have to imply doing it in a bad way, hurting or being damaged. Therefore, in a psychology consultation you can also make the breakup or divorce as smooth as possible.

• You may be interested in: "The 5 phases of divorce and its characteristics"

How does it help to go to the psychologist before a separation or divorce?

As we have seen, the work of psychologists in the face of a deteriorating relationship does not end in the field of couples therapy. Even in cases where you go through separation or divorce, Having professional psychological support makes the difference to adjust well to the new reality without being installed in the initial discomfort.

And it is that although we are not aware of it, the way in which we relate to our emotions, thoughts and environment greatly influences how we experience the end of a marriage or courtship, and with the necessary help we can improve our ability to adapt to the new reality.

Bearing this in mind, let's see in what ways psychotherapy is used in cases of divorce or separation.

1. Improved self-esteem

It is very common for divorce to be accompanied by low self-esteem, since people tend to interpret these kinds of situations from the perspective of failure and inability to meet certain expectations.

For this reason, psychologists give support so that the person does not remain focused on the beliefs they have about his own. limitations, and be able to see his positive characteristics, his potential, and even what he has learned from the divorce.

2. Search for new sources of incentives

Divorce usually leads to a new lifestyle; even if the couple was previously separated, the fact that the breakup was not "official" of the It all had implications for your expectations about the future, and that influences how you it lives.

Therefore, one of the aspects in which applied psychotherapy is worked in divorce cases is the search for new incentives in a single life, if it is the case that you do not have a partner. In this way, the “mourning” of the end of the marriage is helped to pass.

3. Management of memories associated with marriage

It is important to be able resignify the memories associated with that marriage, so that they are not seen as a sign that time has been "wasting." That will allow us to evoke those memories normally and accept that past part of our life.

4. Acceptance of the end of the cycle

In psychotherapy, work is also done to accept the fact that the phase of life linked to that marriage has come to an end, and that therefore it makes no sense to evaluate one's ability to be happy with reference to the interests and values ​​associated with that relationship.

Are you looking for professional psychological help?

If you are going through a divorce situation or are in a deteriorating relationship that can lead to separation and you are seeking psychological assistance services, Get in touch with me; either from individualized psychotherapy or from couples therapy, we can work to manage the situation in the best possible way by adopting new ways of managing emotions and enhancing skills communicative. I offer face-to-face sessions in Seville and online sessions by video call.