10 keys to increase your self-esteem in 30 days
Jul 16, 2021
One of the most frequent problems in my practice is low self-esteem. Low self-esteem leads to a negative perception of oneself, and it is a factor that can greatly limit us in our daily lives. The truth is that, on many occasions, patients do not know how to identify that they suffer from low self-esteem. Why?
Because low self-esteem leads to other types of problems that are the supposed cause for which they go to the psychologist, problems such as anxiety symptoms, from depression, behavior problems, stress, addictions, etc. And here are some tips to know how to identify what is happening to us and how we can solve it. It is easy to increase the self-esteemYou just have to put a little effort into it.
What is self esteem?
Self-esteem is the set of beliefs, perceptions, evaluations and thoughts that we have about ourselves, the assessment we make based on our experiences.
What symptoms can warn me that I have low self-esteem?
Some of the main symptoms that can warn us that our self-esteem is not in the best moment are the following:
- I have no confidence in myself
- I do not express my likes or opinions for fear of being rejected or because I think that my opinions do not have the same value as the opinions of others
- I don't feel worthy of the good things in life
- I do not make an effort to get what I want since I think beforehand that I will not achieve it
- I do not relate to others as I would like because I think that I am not going to do it well and they will put me aside
- I need the approval of others very often
- I allow myself to be stepped on easily since I do not dare to impose myself when necessary
- I see other people as superior to me and I would like to be like them
- I'm afraid to say what I feel no longer maybe others don't like what I say
- I usually attribute my achievements to external causes and my failures to internal causes
- I am almost never happy with what I do as I think I could be better
- I do not feel happy
- I find it difficult to finish what I start since I get demotivated very easily
- Decision making becomes very difficult since I think that I decide what I decide is going to be the wrong choice so I let myself be carried away by what others decide, even if it's my own lifetime
- I think about my weaknesses and hardly ever stop to think about my strengths
- I feel nervous most of the day
- It is almost impossible for me to take the initiative
- I feel evaluated almost constantly in social situations
- I feel guilty
- I feel unattractive
- I envy the lives of others
- I feel like I have nothing to contribute
If you have felt this way several times, the rest of your problems may come from having alow self-esteem. Let's try to solve it with some exercises so that you begin to value yourself and believe in yourself. You could be very surprised at your abilities if you make an effort to improve your self-esteem.
How can I increase my self-esteem?
Many people wonder if there is a way to improve their own self-esteem. Obviously there is no magic potion, but we must be aware that only each person can improve in this sense based on perseverance and following some advice based on scientific evidence.
1. Stop beating yourself up
We have to be realistic with both our strengths and our shortcomings. We are not perfect, but the intention is not to be. The goal is to be happy. So to achieve this we must accept the things that we do not do so well and learn from it. And of course, not downplaying the things we know how to do well, but appreciating them as they deserve.
We are going to observe and be aware of how good we are, how good we are, how good we do. Why keep thinking that I'm a mess? Where has this kind of reasoning led me?
2. Start thinking positive
Change your thoughts. The "I can't" for "I'm going to try", "I'm going to be successful" and "I'm going to do well." It seems like a cliché, but forcing yourself a little to look at the good things in life can help us get out of the negative dynamics. If we realize that we have many things to value, it is easier for us to get out of the negative loop.
3. Set realistic goals
And that you can comply. Goals that are relatively easy to reach. Little by little we can increase them, and we will see that step by step we are achieving what we propose. If we fail, let's learn from it without blaming ourselves for our mistakesFailure is a way of knowing how to do it differently next time. Dare to face challenges.
4. Don't compare yourself
Each person is a world and you are the owner of yours. Focus on you. In your life. By envying and idealizing the lives of others, the only thing we will achieve is to feel miserable. We all have something good to contribute, and it is up to us to find the right path.
5. Accept and forgive yourself
Write a letter describing everything you don't like about yourself, and everything you feel guilty about. Don't miss anything. Read it carefully and assess what you can improve. Say goodbye to that letter and break it into a thousand pieces. From that moment on, start from scratch, with everything you have learned but leaving guilt behind. Still you are in time to make a clean slate.
6. Make constructive criticism about yourself
That everything you say to yourself serves to improve, not to stagnate and blame yourself. In addition, learn to accept criticism so that they do not affect you.
7. Treat yourself with love and respect, always
You are the best thing that ever happened to you, so prove it to yourself. You have the right to be happy. And to make others happy by infecting them with your optimism.
8. Give yourself time
Do activities that make you happy. It is the best way to meet yourself and develop your skills slowly but surely.
9. Get over your ballasts
There are people who live dragging backpacks full of weight: jobs that do not satisfy them, relationships that do not bring them anything, habits that they do not like... overcome all these burdens, you have to take some control over the situation, think positively and try to change them.
10. Every night before bed ...
…Think of the good things that the day has brought you, the challenges we have overcome, the mistakes we have made and how we can improve.
Try, for 30 days, to put these tips into practice. You will see that when the month ends you will feel better and many of the symptoms that you felt disappear. And remember, there is only one person capable of changing your life, and that person is you!
Learn to love yourself
In the following article we explain more interesting aspects about your perception of yourself, and how to improve in what you propose. We hope these tips will be useful to you and that you will be able to follow this good path that you have started today..
- "Learning to love yourself: 10 keys to achieve it"
- Branden, N. (1995). The six pillars of self esteem. Barcelona: Paidós.
- Cava, M. J., and Musitu, G. (2000). The power of the autoesteme in school. Barcelona: Paidós.
- Oñate, M. (1989). The self-concept. Formation, measurement and implications in the personality. Madrid. Narcea.