'I feel alone': 3 keys to overcome it

How often do you feel lonely? Loneliness is a feeling that most of us can experience from time to time, but... What to do if this feeling becomes something persistent over time?

And is that if it is not dealt with properly, loneliness can become something extremely harmful to our mental health.

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What can we do to curb the feeling of loneliness?

Many of us can experience feelings of loneliness when we are isolated for too long; Nevertheless, the feeling of loneliness does not only depend on being physically alone. Loneliness, like all our emotions, is nothing more than a state of mind.

According to several scientific experiments carried out, the feeling of loneliness does not have to reflect the number of friends or family that we have around us. It may be the case where we are surrounded by co-workers, family and friends and our feeling of loneliness only persists and increases.

In this sense, there are several things we can do to manage the feeling of loneliness: here are three tips that can help us.

1. Make friends with yourself first

Taking care of yourself is vitally important to our mental health. The truth is that we may feel lonely because deep down, we long for our own friendship and we are not at peace ourselves.

Think about when was the last time you treated yourself well and took time to relax and de-stress. I don't mean falling asleep on the couch after a busy day at work. I'm talking about taking conscious time for yourself and your thoughts. Thoughts centered on your person, that do not have to do with work or emotional problems. It can be something as simple as taking a relaxing bath for an hour instead of a quick shower.

Another option would be to do some activity or hobby that we really like or simply read a good book. When loneliness knocks on the door, a good idea is to look within and spend some time with ourselves. Once we learn to love and respect ourselves, we may not feel so alone, because we will know that we can always count on ourselves.

2. Be compassionate to others

Sometimes when we are alone, all we wish we had is someone to be there for us. A person who understands and encourages us when the going gets tough.

Taking the initiative and caring for others can help us. Don't you feel better when someone pays you a compliment or does you a favor? Don't you feel more valued and less alone?

Being kind and empathetic to other people not only helps the person who receives the kindness and empathy, but also the subject who performs those actions. After all, in this way, we are actively engaging in social interaction, which can mean being one step away from making a new friend or simply feeling less alone, knowing that you've done something nice for someone else.

According to scientific studies by psychologists Ed Diener and Martin Seligman, altruism can lead us to improve our mental and physical health, as well as speed up the recovery time after having suffered other types of illnesses.

The next time you experience that feeling of loneliness, try talking to a family member or friend who could use some support. Another excellent option would be to volunteer in an organization with whose mission we identify ourselves.

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3. Accept that there is no perfect friend

Nobody is perfect. If you feel lonely, you may have fantasized about being fully socialized. You may have imagined what it would be like to have an ideal group of friends. The truth is that, in reality, there is no such thing as perfection.

Several scientific studies have shown that those with perfectionistic traits are at higher risk of depression throughout their lives. Due to the feeling of alienation they suffer, the feelings of loneliness and isolation can be much more intense. Perfection when it comes to socializing can make us completely asocial.

The search for a perfect person means that we never find him. This generates feelings of frustration in us that make us feel less and less predisposed to socialize with other people. Many individuals who experience feelings of chronic loneliness are actually social perfectionists.

Don't let your perfectionism get in the way of your ability to make friends. People are not perfect and not all social interactions are entirely to our liking. Give people the opportunity they deserve!

Seek help for intense loneliness discomfort

If you think you are suffering from chronic or excessive loneliness, It is very important that you seek help from a qualified professional for this. That person will give you the necessary tools to make this feeling of loneliness gradually move away from our lives. It is a great first step and gives us the opportunity to talk to someone about the feelings we are experiencing.