How does someone like you? 5 proven techniques

When we are meeting someone, trying to convince a person to buy a product or service from us, starting a relationship or any other type of interaction in which we hope to obtain a positive response from the recipient (s), usually the first thing we try to do is make the other person like you to fulfill our mission.

We each have our own tactics to make this happen, although not all of us are especially good at this. So... How can someone like us so that they consider us well? In this article we will see 5 techniques that could help you establish that positive connection with people.

• Related article: "The psychology of attraction, in 12 keys"

The 5 languages ​​to make someone like you

Gary Chapman proposed a theory based on 5 languages so that we can please others. Chapman considered this proposal as a key toolkit for having a positive relational influence with others.

Each person can have all 5 developed, but in different dimensions; Depending on the dominant language of each person, the way in which they can be more easily liked will change. It is important, to fulfill the objective of pleasing, that we know the language of appreciation of others, to "speak" to them in theirs, not in ours.

1. Words of affirmation

They are simple positive words or phrases that make the other person feel that they are doing things right or that he is on the right track. Give compliments.

2. Quality time

Pay attention to someone, without distractions. Do what the other person likes, without necessarily loving the activity. Spending time together and sharing experiences.

3. Give details

Give tangible gifts. They are symbols of appreciation, recognition and acceptance; they generate an environment suitable for the exchange of emotions and ideas.

4. Acts of service

Here the phrase "fewer words, more actions" applies. For people with this language as their dominant, the words are completely empty, so a good speech will be difficult to make them like you. They are small acts like opening the door, helping to carry things, bring a coffee to the office, cook for someone else, etc.

5. Physical contact

It is a very powerful form of communication. What is peculiar about this language is that we must know exactly when to use it and when not. Used correctly, it is an excellent resource for expression.

In love

These languages ​​too can be applied in the love sphereWell, in a couple, each individual has different ways of expressing love and different ways in which they like others to show them theirs. So it is important that both of you recognize your primary language, thus avoiding many misunderstandings and resentments during the relationship.

The key to being able to use these languages ​​to make someone like you is be empathetic and receptive to identify which is predominant in each person, so you know what is the best way to approach them and get a positive response. In addition to expressing appreciation, we will also receive a reward, strengthening our abilities to use any of the 5 efficiently.

• You may be interested: "The 6 theories of interpersonal attraction"

Establishing a special connection

In the therapeutic field, these languages ​​are very useful for create rapport with patients. But it is important know the language that they use the most to be able to use it and have favorable results. Exemplifying each one, in terms of affirmation words, phrases such as “You go very good ”,“ you have had a lot of progress ”,“ how good you decided to come ”,“ you are very brave / very persistent". Phrases that motivate you to keep going.

Quality time is simply active listening, show interest in what is being said and do not get distracted by doing other things. Giving details can be to give him cookies, candy or a snack during the sessions or a small gift on his birthday. As for acts of service, they can be small actions such as opening the door when he arrives, passing him disposable tissues in case he needs them.

And lastly, physical contact is a bit more restricted in therapy, but the patient's thighs or back can be patted, if appropriate. Similarly, each psychologist has a different relationship with each patient and she knows what the limits are when it comes to physical contact.