Intolerance to frustration: tricks to combat it

At some point in our lives, we have all set ourselves a challenge. We have tried very hard, we have decided to postpone other plans to have more time and give all our dedication to this issue in the end, not reaching our goals.

It could not be, we have lost, we have failed. This feeling of failure or even of anxiety it may be a mere bump for some people and for others, depending on their point of view, just another defeat to add to the list.

If you identify with the second option, I propose some exercises and tricks that you can practice to improve your frustration intolerance.

Daily frustrations: beginning to accept the situation

We cannot deny that, when we feel frustration, the emotions and thoughts that are generated are very intense. The discomfort exists and we feel it as something real, even if they tell us that it is only an illusion or that we maintain an exaggerated attitude, or that we seek perfectionism Y we seem obsessive…

The feeling of frustration not pleasant, but not unbearable either. With the determination that comes from this idea, we must change our attitude and our internal dialogue to see for ourselves that these little "failures" can help us strengthen and empower ourselves. A) Yes,

the result will always be a better feeling of well-being.

Therefore, before starting to manage feelings related to frustration, we must recognize and accept that although it seems obvious, the world does not revolve around what we want, and therefore so much, it is necessary to assume that we are not going to get everything we want. The best we can do is think that long-term rewards are usually more rewarding than short-term rewards. and that is why we must moderate the desire for immediacy and discover that many times we settle for less precisely because of that impatience.

Some ideas for managing frustration

The most important thing in a situation that generates frustration is:

• Do not get carried away by the intense emotions of that moment (frustration, sadness, anger, anger, rage ...).

• Give us a few moments of pause It will allow us to reflect and analyze the situation, so that we can look for alternatives to achieve our objective. In addition, we will recover a more calm and stable emotional state.

Having understood all the above ideas, we can put into practice different techniques that help to increase the tolerance to frustration and the ability to cope with situations in which our expectations are not met fulfilled. I propose five very useful and with good results. Go ahead!

Tricks to improve frustration tolerance

The objectives we seek when using these techniques are to be aware of what we feel, to identify the emotion main, what kinds of thoughts overwhelm us and, finally, enter a dynamic in which we can analyze our reactions.

1. Key phrase

It's about using a meaningful self-verbalization what it will help us to abandon the thoughts that lead to unhelpful actions and negative moods, to replace them with others that lead us to face the situation. Using this kind of "reminder", we focus our attention on the solution of the problem and not on the discomfort.

Search your experiences for those phrases that have helped you make negative situations positive, copy them on paper and remember them in times of crisis.

2. Take time

Consists in avoiding analysis or reflection until an emotional cool-down has occurred.

How can we do it? We can begin to do pleasant or pleasant activities and practice them when we feel bad and ophoos. It is not an escape, it is a stop in time, a pause for later, to respond to the demands of the moment in a more adaptive way without being limited by frustration.

3. Technique of the 5 alternatives

Many times, we continue to choose to achieve our initial goal, even if an apparent failure seems to block our way. Look for five alternatives to achieve a goal, assess all its advantages and disadvantages. There is no ideal solution, so we will look for the one with the most advantages or the one with the most bearable inconveniences.

4. Telephone Technique

Analyze the situation, identify inappropriate behavior, specify what things have been done well and think of an alternative behavior that includes the positive aspects of the previous maladaptive behavior. Little by little and successively, you will arrive at an "optimal" action alternative, since with each change the mistakes made are polished.

5. Zig-zag technique

It can help us improve our patience and learn to be consistent. People intolerant of frustration present dichotomous thoughts (all or nothing, good or bad black or white, perfect or useless). This technique aims for the person to understand that there are ups and downs and nuances in all situations.

The objective is that we facilitate the ends, dividing the goals into subgoals, and taking into account that sometimes it is necessary to make setbacks (zag) to continue advancing (zig) towards the final objective. In this way, achievements are achieved in zigzag setbacks being seen as opportunities to analyze the situation and reassess the objective. The important thing is that when experiencing a setback we should not feel hopeless, but remain calm, the patience and perseverance to keep getting closer to your goal without letting frustration be a lock.

Some final tips

• Distinguish between wants and needs, since some need to be satisfied immediately and others can wait. We do not have to become capricious people.

• Control impulses and assess the consequences of our actions. For this, nothing better than knowing some emotional control techniques.

• Be aware that, many times, pain or the feeling of failure is very imaginary. We must learn to relativize failures and successes, and notice that our reality builds much more slowly than our own would like.

• Control the environment, avoid things, people or situations that can frustrate us, to the extent possible

One last thought

When we are children we learn to tolerate many situations that we do not like, we hear the "no" from our parents and teachers daily and little by little we are developing our own tools to combat frustration and know how to manage anger and impotence. We are getting older and sometimes as we ourselves set the goals and the pressure, we lose perspective and as a consequence the good management of the situation.

But this can be remedied, just as in our adult life we ​​endure without realizing many things that with seven or eight years would totally frustrate us. Let's do it!