What is "Phubbing" and how does it affect our relationships?

Since the smartphone boom in the middle of the last decade, the presence of these devices in our lives has only grown exponentially.

The percentage of inhabitants of our planet who are users of a mobile phone is 51%, that is to say, no less than 3,790 million people. This percentage of users of smartphone it rises, for example, in Spain up to 80% of the adult population. Regarding the social use of the phone, 42% access networks such as Facebook, WhatsApp, Twitter or Instagram on a regular basis in order to interact with others. In light of these data (Fernández, 2016), we can assume that the way we relate to each other is in a process of constant change.

“With their constant beeping, ringing, vibrating and whistling, phones are like a wayward child who won't behave until he or she gets what they want. The desire of our telephones is to be constantly attended. " (Roberts and David (2016)

What is phubbing and why is it becoming normalized?

Due to the need to describe a social phenomenon that did not exist not many years ago, the Australian dictionary Macquaire developed during 2012 a campaign around the world dedicated to familiarize the population with the word

phubbing (Pathak, 2013). Combination of words phone (phone) and snubbing (to make a contempt), this term refers to the fact that, in a social gathering, ignoring someone by paying attention to the mobile phone instead of talking to that person face-to-face.

This behavior, certainly harmful in any social interaction, is becoming common. Varoth Chotpitayasunondh and Karen Douglas (2016) have recently investigated the psychological causes and consequences of this behavior. These authors found that, as could be intuitively predicted, one of the causes that leads us to deliberately ignore the person we are with is mobile phone addiction.

Phubbing and smartphone addiction

Among the factors that predict mobile phone addiction, and therefore phubbing, is the addiction to the Internet and its excessive use, which is closely related to other non-chemical addictions such as gambling.

As a predictor of internet and smartphone addiction, these University of Kent researchers found that an influential factor was capacity for self-control user. The less self-control, the more likely to be addicted to the Internet, to the smartphone and, therefore, the more likely to be phubbing. A final important factor that was identified was the fear and the concern of staying off the hook from the events, happenings and conversations that are taking place in the social circle, causing this a problematic use of the mobile phone.

Phubbing behavior, the authors argue, is becoming normal and acceptable due to what is conceptualized in social psychology as "reciprocity." Repeatedly ignoring other people by being aware of the mobile causes others, intentionally or not, to return this social action.

Even though it's not pleasant for anyone to be ignored, roles are often exchanged over different social interactions, being one "ignorant" on some occasions and ignored on others. Because social learning is basic in the acquisition of new behaviors, this exchange, according to the researchers, leads us to assume the false consensus that this way of acting is something acceptable and even normal. The authors confirmed this by finding that those people who were the most ignorant and those who tended to be the most ignored saw these behaviors as more socially accepted.

How does phubbing affect our close relationships?

The mere presence (visible) of a mobile phone on the table can reduce the perception of closeness, trust and quality of conversation between two people, this effect being more pronounced when discussing emotionally relevant topics (Przybylski and Weinstein, 2013).

About 70% of the participants in a study on the influence of technologies in couple relationships (McDaniel and Coyne, 2016), stated that computers or smartphones interfered in some way with their coexistence. The higher the frequency of interference from the technologies, the greater the impact on their well-being (less satisfaction with the relationship, with life in general and more depressive symptoms).

Therefore, this phubbing behavior is not limited to sporadic encounters between friends, co-workers or classmates, etc. rather, it can directly affect the structure of our most intimate relationships and have some influence on our quality of life.

Phubbing in couple relationships

James Roberts and Meredith David (2016), from Baylor University, decided to study the effects of partner phubbing or p-phubbing, that is, interruptions to look at the mobile during a conversation while in the presence of the sentimental partner. Due to the wide presence of these smartphones, as mentioned above, it is highly likely that they will be produced frequent interruptions in people who share a large amount of time, such as a marriage or any couple.

Due to the attachment needs of the human being, these authors hypothesize that for a quality relationship to occur the mere presence of the couple is not enough, but there must be certain affective exchanges that must be reciprocal. These exchanges, as the use and presence of smartphones progresses, may be diminished. Thus, due to disruptions caused by p-phubbing, attachment and attention needs may not be met in the same way that they are without the interference of certain technologies.

Conflicts aggravated by phubbing

Regarding the results of the study by James Roberts and Meredith David (2016), as predicted, the higher the frequency of phubbing, the higher the number of conflicts related to the use of mobile phones.

Phubbing and conflicts regarding mobile were good predictors of the quality of relationships, that is, When there were numerous conflicts and couples were phubbing, the quality of the relationship decreased dramatically. significant. Furthermore, since the quality of the couple's relationship is a factor that influences the quality of life, it could be stated that Disrupting our face-to-face relationships by using the mobile can have a negative impact on our long-term well-being term. This decrease in the quality of life can indirectly cause phubbing to create a favorable context for the progressive appearance of depressive symptoms.

It is important to note that in couples who interrupted their relationship more frequently due to mobile, the number of conflicts was even higher in those in which one of the members had an insecure attachment style, compared to the secure attachment style. People with an insecure attachment style, related to cold affective relationships and a greater their partner's willingness to control, would therefore be more affected by the contempt caused by their pair.

Conclusions

Taking into account that, currently, the percentage of divorces with respect to marriages stands at 50% (without taking into account the separations of the rest of couples), the empirical evidence provided by this type of study should be useful to make us aware of our acts.

This awareness does not imply that to live a fruitful relationship as a couple we must isolate ourselves from the benefits that new technologies bring with them, but rather make correct use of them. Just as a person can subjugate his partner by exercising excessive control over him and preventing, for example, that Go to meetings with your friends, a mobile phone (something inert) can deprive us of moments with our beings dear. Taking advantage of our "powerful" frontal lobe we must take charge of our relationships and be able to guide our lives towards the best possible quality of life. It would be of little use to live in an online world if we disconnect from what is truly important.

Bibliographic references:

• Chotpitayasunondh, V., & Douglas, K. M. (2016). How «phubbing» becomes the norm: The antecedents and consequences of snubbing via smartphone. Computers in Human Behavior, 63, 9-18.

• Fernández, S. (2016). Spain, smartphone territory. [online] Xatakamovil.com.

• McDaniel, B. T., & Coyne, S. M. (2016). "Technoference": The interference of technology in couple relationships and implications for women’s personal and relational well-being. Psychology of Popular Media Culture, 5 (1), 85.

• Pathak, S. (2013). McCann Melbourne Made Up a Word to Sell a Print Dictionary. [online] Adage.com.

• Przybylski, A. K., & Weinstein, N. (2013). Can you connect with me now? How the presence of mobile communication technology influences face-to-face conversation quality. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 30 (3), 237-246.

• Roberts, J. A., & David, M. AND. (2016). My life has become a major distraction from my cell phone: Partner phubbing and relationship satisfaction among romantic partners. Computers in Human Behavior, 54, 134-141.