Low selfsteem? When you become your worst enemy

The self-esteem it is one of the most important psychological variables for emotional health, well-being and it is key in our positive relationship with the environment. But unfortunately, not everyone has adequate self-esteem.

Many people, regardless of whether they attend psychotherapy or not, suffer the effects of low self-esteem. Fortunately, this is something that can be changed.

Studies assure that this very important aspect of the personality is not something static, but can vary throughout a person's life, and according to the psychologist Silvia Congost, author of the book Automatic Self-EsteemIts development depends approximately 30% on genetic factors, and the rest, that is 70%, depends on the environment and the experiences that we have had to live.

• There are several types of self-esteem. If you want to know them you can read our article: "The 4 types of self-esteem: do you value yourself?”

The relationship between low self-esteem and emotional balance

Low self-esteem is a real problem that many people face

, because it can negatively affect different areas of your life. In short, low self-esteem causes suffering and prevents us from achieving many of our goals or desires. Negative thought patterns associated with low self-esteem (for example, thinking that everything what you do is going to go wrong) can lead to serious mental health problems, such as depression or anxiety.

Low self-esteem is paralyzing, and makes it difficult to try new things or carry out different daily tasks, as well as starting a new hobby or to look for a job. This prevents you from living the life you want, and leads to frustration and discomfort over time.

Who is in this situation and wants to get out of this negative spiral, only if he performs a hard self-reflection work and recognize your level of self-esteem can improve it and, therefore, increase your wellness. In some cases, the person cannot achieve it on their own, so it will be necessary to go to a specialist psychologist. Still and still It is the person who wants to change who has to make an effort to achieve it, since the psychologist only provides the tools for change.

What Causes Low Self Esteem?

The thoughts you have about yourself seem like absolute realities, but they are still just opinions.. They are based on the experiences that you have had in life, and the messages that these experiences have contributed so that you form an image of who you are. If you have had bad experiences, it is likely that your assessment of yourself is negative. The crucial experiences that help to forge these negative or positive beliefs about ourselves are very possible (although not always) that they occur at an early age.

What you have seen, felt and what you have experienced during childhood and adolescence, in your family, the school or the community in general have a determining effect when it comes to evaluating yourself in the future.

Examples of these experiences are presented below:

• Systematic punishment or abuse
• Failing to meet parental expectations
• Failing to meet the expectations of the group of friends and peers
• Being the "scapegoat" for other people in times of stress or distress
• Belonging to families or social groups characterized by lack of affection and disinterest
• Being treated like the black sheep of the family or school

Psychological problems associated with low self-esteem

In addition to the above causes, negative evaluations of oneself are sometimes caused by negative experiences that have happened later in life. For example. painful breakups or abusive relationships, persistent stress, bullying or mobbing, etc. Therefore, the relationship between psychological problems and self-esteem is a reality.

Many of the psychological or emotional problems are associated with low self-esteem, and this is why one of the most frequent reasons for psychological consultation. And since self-esteem can cause other types of problems (depression, eating disorders, addictions, anxiety, etc.), you need to take action.

Stop being your worst enemy: strategies to improve self-esteem

Low self-esteem is closely related to how you value and react to things that happen If you want to stop being a of those people with low self-esteem, you can follow these tips to stop being your worst enemy and improve your self-esteem:

1. Set realistic goals

Feeling frustrated by trying to achieve excessively difficult goals favors low self-esteem. The reason is simpler than it seems: if we often see that despite our efforts we do not achieve that that we wanted to obtain, that makes us feel smaller than the environment in which we live, which happens to resemble us hostile. We will tend to focus our attention on that supposed failure, and not on the nuances about why we set that goal in the first place or why we don't value our chances well.

That does not mean that we are not ambitious, it means that we must be careful when weighing our possibilities and consider whether we lack preparation or material means to aspire to achieve something.

2. Do not compare yourself with others

Comparing ourselves with others leads us to fall into a vicious circle; once we've gotten into that competitive mindset, it's hard to stop. The obsession with wanting to surpass others is capable of preventing us from enjoying our achievements without start feeling discomfort for continuing to be "below" someone who surpasses us in a certain way skill.

3. Appreciate your qualities

Another of the most useful tips to stop having low self-esteem and love yourself is to stop think about our merits and our achievements when we reach one that is meaningful to U.S.

Other tips to improve self-concept

Other recommendations to combat low self-esteem are the following:

• Treat yourself with affection and look at life in a positive way
• Practice Mindfulness
• do constructive criticism towards yourself
• Give yourself time
• Practice physical exercise
• Try to be assertive

• You can delve into these strategies and learn more techniques to improve self-esteem in our article: "10 keys to increase your self-esteem in 30 days”

Looking for help to learn to love yourself

If you detect that you have a serious self-esteem problem and the above has not worked, it is necessary that you solve it as soon as possible because you do not have to continue suffering any longer. So instead of hiding and looking the other way, you can:

• Talk to your family or close friends
• Talk to your GP for advice on what to do
• Go to therapy with a specialized psychologist