The 5 types of conflicts in adolescence (within the family context)

Raising and educating a teenager can be a complex process, to the point that many fathers and mothers need to seek professional help to improve in these kinds of tasks and responsibilities.

This is so, among other things, because in adolescence the probabilities of conflicts between parents and children rise a lot: we are in a stage of transition between the childhood and adulthood in which there are discrepancies between the roles that each one must occupy in the family, and also young people stop trying to resemble their own parents.

In this article we will review the main types of conflicts associated with adolescence in the field of family and upbringing.

• Related article: "The 3 stages of adolescence"

The most important conflicts in adolescence

These are the most important sources of conflict in the context of parenting teens.

1. Generational conflicts

These types of conflicts with adolescents appear for the simple fact of being part of a cultural reality slightly different from the one their parents have internalized. That is to say, that due to the historical, social and technological development of society,

adolescents endorse values ​​and principles that are not central to their elders' generation, and this can predispose to the appearance of conflicts (far beyond the political).

2. Conflicts of authority

They appear from tensions originated in the resistance to the approach of norms and limits imposed by the parents. Accepted "truths" are called into question.

In any case, in this class of conflicts it is easy for it to play an important role in the set of roles associated with the idea of ​​the good son / daughter and in general the expectations of what each one should do from her position in the family. In cases like this, problems of disagreement may arise, especially considering that adolescence is the stage of life characterized by rebellion: young people stop having as references their fathers and mothers and start to look almost exclusively at those of their age or slightly older.

3. Parental overprotection conflicts

These conflicts arise from tensions and difficulties due to parental resistance to accept the new condition of the child as an adolescent in the process of becoming an adult. Young people claim the right to autonomy or progressive emancipation from their parents and demand recognition that they are at a different stage of development. But on the other hand, parents reach this stage after many years of prioritizing the safety and protection of a child, and it is difficult to change their mentality.

Thus, here the key is in the self-assertion process of adolescents, as individuals with their own criteria, their preferences, their ways of organizing their free time, etc. They are tensions in the relationship between parents and children derived from the adolescent's effort to break with those relationship styles associated with childhood.

4. Conflicts derived from other conflicts

Conflicts can be “inherited” or bridged from other previous sources of conflict. For example, the argument between a father and a mother can jump to the relationship between one of them and the adolescent son, or fights at school can fuel arguments at home. So to understand them it is important not to limit yourself to analyzing them as isolated phenomena: they are surrounded by a larger context.

• You may be interested in: "'I justify myself excessively': possible causes and consequences of this behavior"

5. Conflicts based on communication failures

It should not be forgotten that not all conflicts arise from a clash of totally or partially opposing interests. Sometimes everything arises from a failure in the exchange of information: misunderstandings, ambiguities that are interpreted in a biased and pessimistic way, etc. Once the communication failure has occurred, from that spark a struggle of egos sprouts that leads to young person or parent to justify their initial hostile attitude, and from there they can escalate the conflict.

Of course, previous problems such as lack of confidence, fear or personal insecurities feed this type of conflict and facilitate its appearance.

Do you want to train in conflict management with adolescents?

As in everything, it is possible to train conflict management skills in the family environment and, particularly, applied to the upbringing and education of adolescents. In this sense, there are courses dedicated to teaching the theory and practice of this skill set.

On European School of Coaching We have several training programs in areas such as emotional management, communication skills or conflict management from a leader or mediator role. Among them, you may be interested in the Specialization in adolescents and families, a 30-hour 100% online course aimed at coaches, psychologists and / or educators and healthcare personnel. For more information, please contact us.