How does a narcissist react to rejection?
Everyone feels the need to attract attention at some point in their life, be it for the reason that However, there are pathological cases such as that of people with narcissistic personality disorder.
Although at first others may follow suit, there comes a time when his circle of friends and family begin to ignore her, something that does not sit well with him.
How a narcissist reacts to rejection is directly related to his idea of personal superiority and then we will see why.
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How does a narcissistic person react to rejection?
It is totally normal for any of us to want to be the center of attention at any given moment. Either because we have obtained an important achievement, because we want to be loved or simply because we want stand out with a new style of dress, it is healthy to have the need to receive a little attention, highlight something that we have done. We want to show that we are different, that we have our strengths and we show it off.
However there are certain people who constantly need to be the center of attentionSo much so that if someone they want to surprise ignores them, they simply cannot accept such an event. They also do not sit very well with the fact that there may be people better than them and, in fact, they find it difficult to accept the idea that they may be below others. They are people who have a psychological problem, narcissistic personality disorder, and they do not accept being rejected or minimally ignored at all.
But before understanding how a narcissist reacts to rejection, we must understand what exactly we mean by a person with this type of personality disorder.
What are narcissists like?
According to the DSM-V, narcissistic people are characterized by having a dominant pattern of greatness, a continual need for admiration, all combined with a great lack of empathy. This way of being is problematic and begins to emerge in the early stages of adult life..
People with this personality disorder tend to act and behave in a rather characteristic, almost cartoonish way. Believing that they are great and successful, many of them display themselves as true divas. Each one uses their own tricks to get attention, but they all agree to achieve the same goal, trying to capture the interest of other people.
They are talkative, charming and seductive, but without the need for romantic intentions. They have a very internalized idea of personal greatness, something that they constantly try to demonstrate with others. They believe they are better, considering their worth far above that of their friends and family and, combined with a great lack of empathy, they behave in an arrogant way being able to humiliate those people who supposedly form their circle of beings dear.
They do not accept any criticism. Questioning the grandeur of themselves that they have nurtured throughout their adult life implies entering into crisisAccepting that they are not as perfect as they really think is something that just isn't going to happen. If they are going to talk about another person, it will not be to flatter them or highlight their strengths, but rather to belittle them.
Due to their concept of superiority, pathological narcissists often believe that being part of the lives of others or, rather, that he allows others to be part of his is like a kind of privilege that has granted. Anyone who has the "honor" to be in the narcissist's circle of friends should be grateful for it, and in fact in his mind he conceives it as that they are in debt, that they really owe him something for such concession.
As is logical to think, although at first they manage to attract certain people thanks to their seductive personality, with the Over time, the people who make up their circle try to get away from narcissists, since they are difficult to bear. The fact that they do not accept criticism and on top of that they create themselves above others ends up driving away their close circle.Tired of having to put up with a person who, if he stops being the center of attention, gets angry.
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How do they react when they are rejected?
As we mentioned, people with narcissistic personality disorder have a behavior that ends up being unpleasant for the people around them. They behave both with their friends and with their partner in a very arrogant way, believing themselves better than them and also trying to manipulate them. Although they may do so completely unconsciously, it is clear that they do it to satisfy their needs. desires and, in case someone escapes from their influence, it will cause them to behave emotionally disproportionate.
The way they behave when rejected can be very varied. There are those who resort to aggressiveness, although the normal thing is emotional blackmail, victimization and even try to exhibit depressive symptoms in order to awaken in those who have rejected them feelings of compassion and culpability. These behaviors are not adaptive or socially appropriate at all, but they still display them because on many occasions they are not aware of the damage they may be causing.
What we can extract from all this is that they are people who feel very frustrated when they feel that others have abandoned them. Their way of seeing things is that they never make mistakes and that they do not deserve to be treated like this, that others are to blame and do things wrong. This shows her low level of empathy, her inability to accept criticism and behave in a way that we would consider properly mature and adult.
The way they handle rejection is directly related to their identity. Although they have formed an idea of superiority, that they really believe they are superior to others, it can be said that their identity is rather empty.
They do not have a real identity of their own, but rather a kind of facade with which they present themselves to others, behavior in which they try to project a certain grandeur that is ultimately sterile. It is for this reason that, if someone rejects them, the artificial image they have created with which they presented themselves to others begins to falter.
What do you interpret as rejection?
We have talked about how a narcissist reacts to rejection, but really, what do they consider as such? Relating to these types of people can be a bit dangerous since they are especially susceptible to any sign of neglect, however banal, harmless and unconscious whatever. For example, rejecting calls or text messages from these people, even just because of carelessness, can get us into trouble.
As we said, they have a very high idea of themselves and on many occasions they consider that we interact with them a kind of privilege that they have given us. As they consider that we must always be at their disposal, the fact that we instantly ignore them can make them feel deeply hurt, showing it with anger and indignation.. They can be especially spiteful and disrespectful to those who feel they have failed them.
For this reason, special care must be taken with these people. As we said, it is not that they do it necessarily on purpose, and we cannot brand them as bad people since what makes them behave like this is a psychological problem that requires professional help. Therefore, to the extent that we can, we should try to do your best to get you a consultation. This is going to be complicated but, if you succeed, it may greatly improve your quality of life and especially that of your circle of acquaintances.