Personal relationships... in the days of Facebook

The millennial generation or "millennials" are the generation that groups young people born between 1981 and 1995 who became adults at the turn of the millennium, those of us who today are young adults who are very different from the youth of the generations that precede.

According to information from INEGI (National Institute of Statistic and Geography) in 1990, a total of 19 million Mexicans were between the ages of 20 and 34, while in the last census, that of 2010, the population between 20 and 34 years old reached a total of 27 million people. With these figures, there is no doubt that today, in Mexico, we are the young people who have the greatest participation, politically, culturally and socially.

Millenials: a generation with its lights and shadows

And no, it is not that we are more rebellious than the youth of the 80's or that we have more ideals than the generation of the 60's had in their time; it's just that We were born in a time with different characteristics, especially with regard to the technological and media environment

. We were baptized by the internet and everything that surrounds it. Today we are just one click away (and a good internet connection) from knowing the whole world.

Internet and social networks and changes in communication

The rise and rise of the internet. as well as the different related technological advances, make talking about social networks, search engines, applications and "the cloud" terms everyday for today's young people, who undoubtedly use expressions such as “you google it”, we “whatsapped” or “you left me in viewed".

The Internet has permeated our day to day, from the way we get work (it is common to hear of online job offers where the only contact is made through email exchange), until how we keep in touch with our friends (Well, we no longer spend hours glued to the landline since it is easier to send an instant message with a photo and video).

The Internet has also changed the way we consume. Activities as basic as going to the supermarket have become outdated, since it is no longer necessary stand in lines or go through the bustle of the crowd because we can make purchases from the computer or the tablet. Talking about the impact that the internet has generated in our lives would take us more than one article; However, we can highlight an aspect that has been transformed thanks to the internet: the way in which “millennials” establish social relationships.

Before addressing this controversial issue, I have to clarify that the feeling does not change, that is, love is love, friendship is friendship and even the feeling of rejection towards a person remains despite progress technological. However, what does change are the places, the processes through which we establish personal and including the temporality with which they are established and the new dimension that arises from this new technological paradigm and cultural.

Social networks as scenarios

Today we establish links on social networks, applications and through videoconferencingIt is easier to discuss a topic of interest in a WhatsApp group than to bring together the 25 contacts to whom you are sending the message; you can also keep up to date, whether you want to or not, of what your contacts are doing without the need to talk to them. If you really need to talk to your friend who lives several kilometers from your city, it can be solved with a coffee for videoconference, even it is no longer necessary to imagine moments, a photo on your wall can bring you closer to the experience; And if that's the intention of social media, keep in touch.

This means that social media as a stage only motivate us to take our personal relationships to another plane, just to make them easier, although along the way we lose certain levels of privacy and intimacy. Through the exchange of "inbox" or thanks to video calls on "Skype" we enjoy the possibility of immediately connecting with friends who live far away. The previous situation is explained by answering a simple question, most of our contacts, for example on Facebook, are they people we know outside of the virtual?; our best friend, family even our partner.

At this point, social networks fulfill their function, they facilitate us to be in contact, the essence of relationships are the same, I am friends with someone, I have a relationship with someone, I dislike someone, etc. What changes is that now we take it to the virtual plane to stay closer.

The scope of social networks

Social networks (be it Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Skype, WhatsApp or any other) such as the hypothesis of "the 6 degrees of separation" (taken up by Milgram in 1967) arise with the idea that we are a few people away from knowing everyone. This could be exemplified by the idea that each person has an acquaintance, and this acquaintance, in turn, knows someone who knows someone who knows someone who knows us. A very real idea that leads us to become aware that the world is a handkerchief.

Although we are not six people away from knowing everyone, thanks to social networks we are a little closer, since we can be in contact with acquaintances of our acquaintances, but we can also meet people with our same interests even without knowing what they are like, if we “like” the same pages we are connected. The ease with which we can establish contact with people who perhaps we thought were impossible, we are only a “follow” away from our writer, singer, commentator, artist or person favorite.

Social media catapults us into the world, to the extent that we can publish a photo and in less than two seconds it can be "like" by someone on the other side of the planet. This makes it common to know cultural customs of other countries thanks to a video that someone shared, or that it is increasingly common for young people to have romantic relationships at a distance.

This way of establishing virtual relationships thanks to the reach of social networks leads us to know the new processes through which a link is developed, even by means of a smartphone or a computer, and with the limitations that this support carries.

Social networks and new interaction processes

Now is the time to move on to the most interesting part of the article, analyzing the impact that virtual life has had on our lives. This influence is not only reflected in the way we speak or write; It has undoubtedly disrupted the way we interact; Well, we can be part of different groups without even knowing their members. If we have a common taste, we are already connected, although we don't like the idea very much, and I mean the typical one: "You don't know me but I added you because I liked your profile picture."

A tool to lose the embarrassment of meeting other people?

It is no longer necessary all the ritual of seeing each other, chatting once, going out again, and realizing the things in common, because With the profile of this contact you already have knowledge of many relevant aspects of his life. This makes it easier to know if the person likes you or not before meeting them in person, or at least you can better assess whether it is worth trying to get to know them more.

What's more: it is no longer necessary to think "Are you interested as a friend or something else?", You are a "match" away from meeting your ideal partner, and although it sounds like a joke, this is due to the appearance of applications of this type, which in seconds relate you to a person, either because they like the same things as you, because you live nearby, or because the two of you are looking for a partner. Apps have even appeared that put you in contact with people who are physically close... who said fear?

The good and the bad of social media

Don't get me wrong: social media is neither good nor bad by itself. We usually recreate talking about their flaws, but they also have their positive side. For example, they save you a lot of horrible dates, because before you go out with a person you review their profile and you get an idea of ​​who they are; It also offers you the possibility of meeting many people from different places, or so close to you that you didn't even know they existed.

But it is also worth reflecting on the problems that social networks cause. We have all noticed how the profile photos of some contacts do not correspond much with their attractiveness in real life. Another small problem is that we tend to delegate some positive communicative intentions, such as compliments, in a simple like to a profile photo: it is more comfortable. Now we know that someone is interested in you if they do not leave you in "seen" in the WhatsApp conversation, and that it is more important than you couple change their sentimental situation on Facebook from "single" to "in a relationship" to receive a bouquet of roses with dedication.

Tinder: the ultimate dating app?

Tinder, my favorite app, and no, not because I use it, but because it reflects the impact of social networks on our relationships.

We log in with a profile that we build based on our tastes, indicating the place where we live and adding a description of ourselves, taking into account Note that we cannot have a single photo because this application links us to Facebook photos, all the photos, the ones we uploaded and the ones in which we were tagged; (be careful, be careful).

Later, the application, thanks to a "magic" process, puts us in contact with the people who are close to us, in the same country and region, so you can "flirt" anywhere. Is app allows you to discard or "like" any profile that appears. If you are demanding when it comes to finding a partner, you don't have to worry as there are hundreds of thousands of profiles, you may like some of them. We come to the strong part of the process, the "match", which means that a profile liked you that you also liked. If you get a "match" you can start a conversation with the profile and after this point everything depends on you, and that person with whom you talk.

Tinder would be the friend who introduces you to those you like at the party, but without having to get the invitation to the party. It has another advantage: you do not have to choose what clothes to wear and, more importantly, you can discover hundreds of people without leaving where you are and quickly.