The adolescent: a little tyrant?

The teenager, a little tyrant? There are many fathers and mothers who sometimes ask themselves this question, simply because of how they live their relationship with their children.

We all know, because we have also experienced it in our flesh, that adolescence is a particularly difficult period for boys and girls who go through it.

If we think about it, it has two aspects: one way of living it is that of the young man who goes through it, with all the physical, mental and emotional changes that this stage of his life goes through; but on the other hand, it is also true for his parents, who, although they are aware that this occurs, sometimes they are forced to seek help to learn to manage these changes in their children in the most suitable way possible.

And sometimes one of these factors that resists adults is the tyranny of the young.

• Related article: "The 3 stages of adolescence"

The teenager thinks that he can do everything and that he is the center of the universe

It has also happened to us, but when you live as a parent it is something very different, and

it is necessary to live it carefully so that this situation does not lead to problematic behaviors for our children like addictions, for example.

The point is that one of those behaviors that adults must know how to deal with correctly and coexisting is the feeling that boys can do whatever they want, that nothing but their will matters.

During adolescence the feeling that nothing can with the young man and that the world is at his feet is very common, and therefore, their behavior denotes that their actions have no consequences for them, when we are all very aware that this is not the case in reality.

It is the vigor of youth that makes them see life in this way, disregarding the rules and regulations. risks that are around them, and this can lead to behaviors that can be very harmful to they.

Is the adolescent a tyrant?

Well, his attitude may imply yes from the moment in which the adolescent is not only comfortable, but also thinks that nothing goes with him, that he is indestructible, it may happen that he thinks that he is more than others, that he has more Rights. This can cause you to start treating others as your inferiors, which can lead to these behaviors. But this can also happen when he suffers.

For this reason, it is common for young people to begin to adopt despotic positions, giving orders to their parents or even being especially violent when he does not get what he wants. Often times, anger is one of your usual tools for trying to scare anyone around you.

The point of all this is that although we do not like to see it, the tyranny of adolescents is something very common that many families often suffer. Perhaps now is the time to consider why this is happening, Why does it occur in some young people but not in others? Let's look at this topic a little more in depth.

• You may be interested in: "The 13 types of learning: what are they?"

Almost everything has to do with the learning that you have been exposed to

All people have a learning since we are small, and throughout our lives we never stop learning. The question is what is learned during childhood, that period in which we are like little sponges that absorb everything.

The methods in which aggressiveness or blackmail are the tool imply that this learning has not been adequate. It is more than possible that the parents themselves caused the problem making children understand that simply by existing they are the center of the world and that they deserve everything.

Obviously, we as parents, we want our children to lack nothing, but if we approach it the wrong way, it is very possible that we are fostering that tyranny of the adolescent.

Let's think for a moment about what happens when the boy or the girl gets everything he wants because he does. In the end, he will end up thinking that he has the right to everything just because he is him, without trying or working to get it. That will lead you not only to treat the people around you in a despotic way, but to everyone, known and unknown. Y if they ever do not get what they want, they will react with anger and violence, because we are denying them something to which they have the right and what they want.

However, the tyrannical attitude of the adolescent is not always related to education. Sometimes young people can get to this point because they have had to live tough situations.

It is common, for example, to find cases in which the child has begun to behave in this way as a result of a divorce. The reason is to blame one of the two and start mistreating that person to punish him and show her anger.

Are there consequences to all of this?

Of course there are. A boy or a girl who believes that everything is his, that he has a right (more right) than other people to everything he wants, will find a painful truth: that is not so.

Seeing that he can't get what he wants, you will start to get frustrated, which will lead to problems in all areas of your life. It is for this reason that you have to act as soon as possible.

What to do then?

The most effective thing is to educate. In this process it will be necessary to set limits, which is not going to please our children, but it must be done to encourage appropriate behaviors.

A message that is essential to send to young people is that having everything you want is impossible, and that to get things you have to work hard.

Of course, it is also essential to teach the youngest that with aggression and violence they will not achieve anything, and tackle these behaviors in a radical way, promoting instead respect, effort and job. Only then will they understand what reality is and be ready to go out into the world to live it.