When gender violence becomes subtle

Gender violence is called physical, psychological, economic, sexual, symbolic abuse that are produced towards women by the simple fact of being a woman. This does not mean that there are no cases of violence by a woman towards a man, but because of the severity, intensity and frequency of the violence towards women, this category was constructed to put on the table the large number of cases of violence and deaths of women that do not stop occur.

However, in practice we tend to pay attention basically to cases of physical abuse or murder linked to this type of violence. We leave off the map other forms of gender violence that are subtle.

• Related article: "The causes and effects of gender-based violence"

How is gender violence manifested?

Gender violence has different faces, we are going to list and characterize some of them.

Physical violence

It refers to abuse directed at the body, such as hair pulling, pushing, struggling, hitting, burning, death.

Psychological Violence

Includes name calling, yelling, manipulation, disqualification, disparagement

, indifference, pathological jealousy, isolation, threats, harassment, control.

Sexual violence

It ranges from forcing someone to have sex by force, or situations of harassment, sexual abuse, rape, it even deals with women.

Economic Violence

Money and goods are used as a means of keep control and power.

Symbolic Violence

It consists in the naturalization of the role of women as weak and inferior. We can observe it in phrases, ideas, stereotypes, prejudices that reproduce inequality between men and women seen as inferiority.

Why are violent acts sustained over time?

Surely you have heard situations (or perhaps it happened to you) where after committing a violent act in a partner, after hours, days or weeks, the relationship would seem to continue as if nothing had happened. The violent person apologizes, the violated person forgives and an atmosphere of love, hope and tranquility reigns.

But with the passing of time, strong arguments, tensions, fights begin again and even violence appears again. This is due to a repetitive mechanism with which gender violence is installed in the form of a circle or cycle.

What are the moments of this violent cycle?

The phases that we can frame in this cycle are the following.

1. Psychological assaults

Violence does not accompany the relationship from the beginning. Even the first physical abuse does not appear without first presenting traits of psychological violence. The ground is prepared for the first blow. It can start with name calling, manipulation, disqualification, pathological jealousy, isolation, control, or indirect violence.

• You may be interested: "The 30 signs of psychological abuse in a relationship"

2. Tension and physical aggression

When the climate of tension is great and the words and insults are no longer enough, the violent one resorts to the irruption with the body, marking who commands, who has the power there. Shoving, pine cones, kicks, burns. The escalation of violence can go as far as death.

3. Apologies

There may be repentance in the violent person for the act committed or a false regret for your own benefit. It is at that moment where he proceeds with the request for apologies, justifications, promises not to act like this anymore.

4. Forgiveness and illusion: the honeymoon

Out of love, for keeping the family "together", for believing in the promises, for deluding oneself that there will really be changes, or for fear or dependence, among other factors, the violated woman forgives.

5. Apparent peace: the cycle begins again

The climate of love and harmony prevails, little or nothing remains of the violent act. Everything is love, reconciliation, tenderness, illusion. This will be overcome when the tension takes hold of the violent again and choose once again to unload all your strength and her problems on that woman, once again a victim of gender violence.

It will take a while, the apologies, the "love" will return, until the cycle begins again.

What happens to the children of victims of gender violence?

The exposure of children, as witnesses to violence against women, has serious consequences for children, at an emotional, behavioral, developmental, cognitive and bonding level. Here are some of them.

• Stress, anguish, sadness, anxiety disorders, excess responsibilities.
• Impulse control deficits, irritability, aggressive shocks, oppositionalism.
• Fear, helplessness, guilt for not knowing how to help the mother or for not being able to defend her.
• Depression, low self-esteem, frustration, insecurity, emotional instability.
• Learning difficulties, school failure, attention and concentration problems.
• Difficulty bonding with others, to solve social problems, lack of social skills, distrust, lack of empathy.
• Eating disorders (anorexia, bulimia, lack of appetite).
• Sleep disturbances.
• Psychosomatic symptoms such as enuresis and secondary encopresis, asthma, allergies.

Finally, perceived violence can be internalized and in many cases expressed in the form of antisocial behavior, misconduct at school, delinquency, or substance use. In short, gender-based violence does not only affect women. It extends to children, who suffer short and long-term consequences.