The 83 best phrases of Woody Allen

Woody Allen is an eccentric character but also very intelligent. This director, screenwriter, actor, musician, playwright, comedian and has a great talent, but his life has not been without controversy.

Famous quotes of Woody Allen

Now, in this article we are not going to go into detail about his private life., But we are going to focus on his great film success, where he has managed to succeed and has uttered numerous phrases famous.

Then you can enjoy the best famous quotes and phrases of Woody Allen.

1. If human beings had two brains, we would surely do twice as much nonsense

Only Woody Allen, with his witty humor, could have signed such a sentence.

2. The sun is bad for you. Everything our parents said was good is bad. The sun, milk, red meat, the university ...

Everything in excess is counterproductive. But in moderation it can be beneficial.

3. Do you want to contribute something to humanity? Tell funniest jokes

Humor and laughter bring many benefits to people.

4. I was in the living room, I heard you were drowning, I finished my tea with pudding and I came at once

Woody Allen, they are always the humorous touch of him. Without a doubt, a real character.

5. Brain? It's my second favorite organ

An extract from "El dormilón" (1973). In reference to the importance of the human brain. For Allen, it is not the most important thing.

6. I'm ugly enough and short enough to make it on my own

He's not an attractive guy; however, it has many qualities.

7. I hate reality, but it is the only place where you can eat a good steak

Life can have good times and bad times, although sometimes bad times predominate.

8. Gossip is the new porn

From his work Manhattan (1979). Comparing the gossip to something that has nothing to do with it: pornography.

9. I am a person of healthy life and habits. I don't smoke, I don't drink and I would never sexually force a blind woman

A fun way of saying that you would not sexually abuse anyone.

10. –My days as a Catholic ended when I turned 16 years old.

–My days as a Catholic ended when Mom found my diaphragm

A part of the script for Alice (1990), a film directed and written by Woody Allen.

11. -Believes in God? -I can't even take the leap of faith to believe in my own existence

From his work Shadows and Fog, from 1991. A quote about religion.

12. - Sex without love is an empty experience. -But as empty experience is one of the best

You are absolutely right in this sentence. Although not everyone will agree.

13. Fear is my most faithful companion, he has never tricked me into going with another

Taking life with humor, and talking about his fears naturally.

14. My psychoanalyst warned me about your bisexuality, but you were so pretty that I changed my psychoanalyst

An excerpt from his 1979 film Manhattan. A touch of humor that includes psychological therapy in its script.

15. - You have a problem to commit yourself: you did not know if you wanted to be a psychoanalyst or a writer.

–And I committed myself: I became a writer and a patient. They all say I love you

A fun conversation that talks about how he did not leave his vocation as a psychologist to become a patient.

16. "It's my only love letter." It's beautiful. "Most of it is a plagiarism from James Joyce. You may have wondered what all those references to Dublin were about. Crimes and misdemeanors

Any word that comes out of your mind has a funny touch.

17. The two most beautiful words in our language are not "I love you!", But "It's benign!"

Allen can even joke about such serious topics as cancer.

18. When I was a student, I was kicked out of school for cheating on the Metaphysics test. I looked into the soul of my deskmate

A far-fetched way of saying that he copied from his classmate.

19.. Empty sex is better than no sex, right?

From the play that he directed, Memories, from 1980. I've always liked talking about sex.

20. Penis envy? I am one of the few men who suffer from it

A quote from her movie Annie Hall. Talk about any topic naturally.

21. Of human weaknesses, obsession is the most dangerous, and the most foolish

Obsession negatively affects people's lives and can become a mental disorder.

22. A relationship is like a shark, it has to move forward or it dies. And what we have in our hands is a dead shark

Relationships can be tough and difficult. Especially when monotony takes over.

23. I keep wondering if there is life after death. And if there is, will they exchange a twenty dollar bill for you?

A subject as sensitive as death is a joke for Woody Allen.

24. I love him like a brother: like Cain to Abel

In other words. It is not exactly affection that he has for him.

25. (On sex) I never had so much fun without laughing

At Annie Hall. And he is right in what he says. One of the most pleasant things in life.

26. The truth is a great mystery, since few know it, that is why it is a joke every time it is heard

Lying is the order of the day. Few people are honest today.

27. I can't hear that much Wagner. I want to invade Poland

From his 1993 work "Mysterious Murder in Manhattan".

28. You can deduce that the message is that the only way to be happy is by believing in an afterlife. And they would not be wrong. I firmly believe that life is something terrifying and unstable for other mortals. The only way to survive is to fool yourself, people are desperate to find something to believe in

A phrase that, hard as it may seem, can have a lot of truth.

29. I'm not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens

Everyone would agree with Woody Allen on this sentence.

30. The brain is the most overrated of the organs

For Woody Allen, too much value is placed on the brain.

31. How do you want me to forget you if when I start to forget you I forget to forget you and I start to remember you

Heartbreak is a painful stage in life, and it takes time for one to feel better.

32. Perhaps the poets are right. Maybe love is the answer

Love can make us feel like we live on a cloud. So it can cure many ills.

33. You have to work eight hours and sleep eight hours, but not the same

Logically, it is not the same to be awake than asleep. Not resting and working.

34. As a comedian, if I can get someone stoned to laugh it doesn't count, because they laugh all the time

People, when we have consumed alcohol, we have a good time with little.

35. I suffered from incontinence when I was little, and since I used to sleep with an electric blanket, I was continually electrocuting myself

A few words that speak of Woody Allen's own childhood.

36. We fall in love. Well I fell in love, she was just there

A declaration of love from Woody Allen. Of course, with his touch of humor.

37. Retirement is for people who have spent a lifetime hating what they did

You can enjoy work and not feel like it is work or work to earn money and suffer every day.

38. Eighty percent of success is being there

Luck has something to do with achieving success. However, attitude is also very important.

39. He had never seen such an attractive classical music violinist. They are usually all Hungarian refugees

Making a joke about the violinist. Appears in his work: Memories.

40. Love is the most complex emotion. Human beings are unpredictable. There is no logic in your emotions. Where there is no logic there is no rational thought. And where there is no rational thought there can be a lot of romance, but a lot of suffering

The emotionsIf we don't manage them effectively, they can create a lot of suffering.

41. Come on, confess one more time. It's free

Confession has no cost as stated by Woody Allen. Of course, she says it in an ironic tone.

42. No one in my family has ever committed suicide, it was not an alternative for the middle class. My mother was too busy in the kitchen killing the taste of chicken to think of shooting herself.

Low tolerance for frustration makes people depressed at the first change.

43. Showbiz is a jungle, it's worse than a jungle: instead of devouring each other, they stop calling each other on the phone

The problem is that show business has become a business. Therefore, what dominates is money.

44. Some marriages end well; others last a lifetime

At present, many couples are separating. Divorces are on the order of the day.

45. Feeling guilty is important. I feel guilty all the time and have never done anything

In reality, one should not blame oneself all the time. But for Woody Allen this is a joke.

46. "We are people, we are only human beings, you know?" You think you are God. -I have to mold myself to someone's image

A reflection that appeared in his cinematographic work: Manhattan.

47. Only art is controllable. Art and masturbation. Two fields in which I am an expert

This character is capable of considering masturbation as an art.

48. All the prostitutes I talk to tell me it's better than working as a waitress. Working as a waitress must be the most screwed-up job in the world. Dismounting Harry, 1997

Seen like this, it may have some logic. But not if it comes out of Woody Allen's mind.

49. After fifteen minutes I wanted to marry her. And after half an hour I had completely abandoned the idea of ​​stealing his wallet

This phrase can only be understood if his work has been seen before: Take the money and run.

50. (Talking about going to the movies during the day) It's great. It's like playing truant with life

The cinema is an ideal place to lose yourself and disappear, because you can get inside the movie.

51. Sex relieves tension and love causes it

A quote that invites the author to deep reflection.

52 –It's hard to believe that you haven't made love in 200 years. –204 if you take my marriage into account

Some words that appeared in his work "El dormilón". A criticism of marriage.

53. The force of your thoughts and the reflection of your actions are the signature that you leave in this world

The attitude that a person has greatly influences the path one follows and what one achieves.

54. His transformation into a rabbi is so real that some sectors suggest sending him to Devil's Island

A phrase taken from Zelig, one of his works. It's from 1983

55. People should mate forever like penguins or like Catholics

It is not necessary to live as a couple forever. But marriage has to do with the Catholic religion.

56. The question is: have I learned anything about life? Just this: human beings are divided between mind and body. The mind encompasses all noble aspirations, such as poetry and philosophy, but the body gets all the fun.

Fun seems to be one of Woody Allen's core values.

57. You use sex to express any emotion except love

Sex can be related to love, or it can just be sex.

58. I don't know anything about suicides. Where I come from, in Brooklyn, no one commits suicide. People are too unhappy

An ironic phrase that speaks of suicide and unhappiness.

59. In politics, I lean towards an honest democracy. And I also believe that the American system can work

Woody Allen explains his political thoughts in this sentence.

60. I don't want to get married, I just want to get divorced

For some people, life as a couple becomes impossible to carry.

61. People want a fictional life and fictional characters a real life

There are many people who want to live a movie. Your own movie.

62. The difference between death and sex is that death is something that one can do alone and without anyone laughing after you

A curious, far-fetched and funny comparison between death and sex.

63. For you, I am an atheist. For God, the faithful opposition

Making it clear what his position is regarding religion.

64. When I was little I wanted to have a dog, but my parents were poor and they could only buy me an ant

An absurd date, but one that has its touch of grace.

65. My grandmother never gave gifts. She was too busy getting raped by the Cossacks

These words may clash, but they appear in his work Annie Hall (1977).

66. I haven't seen my psychoanalyst in 200 years. He was a strict Freudian and if I had seen him all this time now he would be almost cured

Meaning that she has a mental disorder and that she has not gone to psychological therapy to overcome it.

67. The last time I was inside a woman was visiting the Statue of Liberty

In reference to the fact that he has not had sex for a long time.

68. There is an old joke: two older women are in a high mountain hotel and one comments, "Wow, the food here is really terrible! ", and the other replied: little!". Well, basically this is how life seems to me, full of loneliness, hysteria, suffering, sadness and yet it ends too quickly.

A joke that Woody Allen uses to exemplify his vision of life.

69. Honey, it was you who wanted to stop sleeping with me. April 20 will be a year. I remember the day because it's Hitler's birthday

An ingenious phrase that was pronounced in "Crimes and misdemeanors" (1989)

70. My ex-husband and I was love at first sight. I should have taken another look at it

From his film Crimes and Faults, a great film in which seriousness and humor reach a deep balance.

71. I admit I was a lucky fool. If I had not been born in Brooklyn and had been born in Poland or Berlin, today I would be a lamp

From his work Memories of Him, which is filmed in New Jersey, and is Woody Allen's tenth feature film.

72. I don't want to move to a city whose only cultural advantage is being able to turn right on a red light

Appeared in Annie Hall. Possibly one of the best romantic love movies.

73. –I don't know, maybe an excess of masturbation on your part. "Hey, don't mess with my hobbies!"

A witty response, featured in his movie "Hannah and Her Sisters."

74. Don't mess with masturbation. It's having sex with someone I love

Like the quote above. Woody Allen openly defends masturbation.

75. I have an interesting case. I am treating two pairs of Siamese siblings with multiple personalities. Eight people pay me

From Zelig, one of his comedies with great psychological content.

76 –What does it feel like to be dead for 200 years? –It's like spending a weekend in New York

Sleepyhead, 1973

77. Why don't I stop destroying my life looking for answers that I will never find, and dedicate myself to enjoying it while it lasts?

Sometimes, people can recreate ourselves in our problems.

78. I was raised in the Israeli confession, but as an adult I converted to narcissism

A scene from his movie "Scoop", released in 2006.

79. All men are mortal. Socrates was mortal. Therefore, all men are Socrates. Which means that all men are gay

A bit strange relationship. Only possible from the mind of Woody Allen.

80. More than at any other time in history, humanity is at a crossroads. One path leads to absolute despair. The other, to total extinction. May God we have the wisdom to choose correctly

Human beings can be our worst enemies.

81. He is a wonderful boy and a wonderful doctor. He never lost a patient. He got two of them pregnant, but he never lost any

A story that is part of one of his movies. Specifically, "the sexual comedy of a summer night."

82. Do you know what my philosophy is? That it is important to have a good time, but you also have to suffer a little, because, otherwise, you do not get the meaning of life

Living in the present is the philosophy of Woody Allen and of those people who want to be happy.

83. It is not bad that your father and I disagree, democracy is that. He defends the right wing of the Republican Party and I think you have to be crazy to do it

A political quote from his feature film "Midnight in Paris," which was released in 2011.