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Permissive families: the 4 risks of this type of parenting

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Being parents is not an easy task, it is common to constantly doubt whether you are being too permissive or too strict about the behavior of your children. However, as parents you must exercise a degree of authority that can vary depending on the context.

In relation to this type of authority, there are three parenting styles that vary according to the level of permissiveness and power that parents exercise over their children. In this article, we will talk about permissive families; what they consist of, what the children are like and what disadvantages or mistakes can be made in this type of parenting.

  • Related article: "The 8 types of families and their characteristics"

What are permissive families like?

There are different ways or styles of parenting which parents can choose according to their personal characteristics, vital priorities or according to the environment that surrounds them.

These types of styles are authoritarian or democratic parenting, in which there are a series of norms and rules of more or less rigid parenting, or the permissive parenting style, which concerns us in this article, and which is characterized for

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leave a great margin of freedom to the behavior of young sons and daughters.

Permissive families are considered the complete opposite of the authoritarian parenting style. In these cases, parents exercise little or no control over their children's behavior, letting them make their own decisions about everything, even when it is not possible for them to have sufficient reasoning to do it.

However, it is not about letting children follow their instincts, ignoring them or not caring for their needs. Fathers and mothers who are members of permissive families tend to be very affectionate, always showing their emotions and thoughts to their children.

Along these lines, another point that characterizes these families is the fluidity in communication between their members; sometimes becoming excessive in terms of the level of adequacy of certain information. It is common for children to be treated as equals, regardless of their age, which sometimes precipitates conversations or statements disproportionate to their age and ability to reasoning.

  • Related article: "Child attachment: definition, functions and types"

Characteristics of the children

Compared with children raised in another type of environment or with another type of parenting, children of permissive families tend to be more jovial and cheerful; at least initially. However, in time tend to develop low self-esteem because they do not know how to face tasks appropriate to their abilities.

In addition, the fact of having been raised without any type of schemes or guidelines for social interaction presents many problems communicating or relating to other people, being too insistent and sometimes somewhat out of control.

Having reached adolescence, an already difficult stage for any child, they tend to transgress any type of social norm, making a constant search for external limits.

  • You may be interested: "Low selfsteem? When you become your worst enemy"

Parenting Errors in Permissive Families

Parents are first of all people, and as such they are liable to make certain permissible errors in the education of their children. However, there are parenting styles, such as permissive families, which tend to have more errors or disadvantages than others in which a minimum of rules are applied to the child.

These parenting errors have to do with the fact of granting any wish that the child demands at any time, the association of the feeling of happiness with the satisfaction of these desires, the lack of acceptance of some emotions such as disappointment or sadness and a decrease in the self-esteem of the child.

1. Grant all the wishes of the son

Giving children any desire or demand that they express may involve the development and potentiation of a low tolerance for frustration, insofar as these wishes are only solved at home.

The moment the child discovers that she will not always be able to obtain everything she wants, frustration can turn into irritability, aggressiveness, and low self-esteemFurthermore, they will not be able to understand the limits and authority figures present in other external environments.

These desires can range from wanting to play more hours than established, going to bed late at night, watching certain TV shows or even wanting parents to buy you anything or take you to a certain place.

2. Associate happiness with the satisfaction of desires

These children tend to believe that other people have an obligation to fulfill their wishes or desires, since it is practically the only thing they know. Therefore, they will live with a constant need to get something since this is the only thing that will bring you happiness.

In addition, in the long run this will affect the relationship between parents and children since, surely, at some point these parents will not be able to monopolize all their wishes.

  • Related article: "What is frustration and how does it affect our lives?"

3. Intolerance to certain feelings and emotions

When the child learns to live surrounded by satisfactory feelings and without any type of contact with less gratifying emotions, but necessary for good psychological functioning, tolerance for negative feelings such as sadness or disappointment is removed.

This fact will lead the child to try, by all possible means, not to experience these emotions since for him they will be absolutely unbearable.

As a consequence, it is very likely that he will end up carrying out destructive and harmful behaviors for himself.

4. Lack of discipline, self-control, and self-esteem

Children raised in environments without any type of discipline, will not be able to develop the ability to set limits their own and therefore, both in adolescence and adulthood they will experience serious difficulties in achieving their goals or objectives; since discipline and self-control will be something alien to them.

These problems in self-regulation and in achieving one's own goals will also have a negative impact on the person's self-esteem. Decreasing their ability to value themselves positively.

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