The 5 types of shame and their characteristics

Shame is a tremendously common feeling. All human beings experience it to a greater or lesser extent.

But it is not a phenomenon as simple as it may seem, since it can have very different expressions depending on the situation or the person. For this reason, we will dedicate this article to delve into this question in order to know more about the types of shame and its implications.

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What is the feeling of shame?

Before starting to list the different types of shame, we must first know better what this emotion consists of. Shame is a feeling of a negative character (in that it is not pleasant for the person who suffers it) that is generated as a result of an unfavorable evaluation that the person is making about himself as a result of a situation determined.

Shame generally arises as a consequence of a conscious interpretation of the events experienced in which the individual perceives that he has defaulted on his honor through reprehensible behavior

. Later we will explore the various types of shame that exist and we will realize that this lack does not necessarily have to occur, since self-perception is a key phenomenon in this matter.

Shame has historically been related to the concept of ignominy, which means a very serious offense and whose etymology, from Latin, is refers to the loss of the name, a very graphic description of the consequences that a negative act has on the honor of the person who leads it to cape.

When a person feels shame, a series of negative reactions and thoughts are generated in him, which involve loss of self-confidence, loss of self-esteem, feelings of worthlessness, powerlessness, and loss of confidence. Likewise, he feels exposed to others, since it is generally the reaction of others that triggers some types of shame.

The person who is experiencing this emotion feels, therefore, great anguish, for all these reasons. Charles Darwin himself already pointed out in his works some of the physiological reactions of this emotion. For example, he pointed out blushing, one of the hallmarks of shame, which consists of a vasodilation process on the subject's face that causes a very characteristic coloration externally.

In fact, letting the person know that they are physically expressing shame and being visible to others, may cause the feeling of shame to increase, paradoxically, causing both feelings to give feedback. Other physical characteristics that occur in the different types of shame and that Darwin described are directing your eyes and head downward, relaxing your body posture, and feeling troubled.

But later an attempt was made to record exactly the symptoms that accompanied the feeling of shame. Some points agreed with Darwin's, others disagreed, and still others added information. The so-called code of shame states that this feeling carries with it a tension in both the body and the muscles of the face. The person tends to stay still and feel an inner turmoil.

Likewise, he will feel nervous and therefore an avoidant attitude will begin in front of the rest of the people present. His tone of voice may be affected as well, denoting nervousness in his words, or he may choose to be silent.

Although many of these characteristics coincide with shyness, it is important not to confuse the two questions, as they are different elements. Shyness is a trait of some people, while shame is a state that anyone can experience at any given time under a series of circumstances that we will see later.

What are the types of shame?

After a first part dedicated to specifying what this feeling consists of, we can now give way to the different types of shame, in order to know the peculiarities and differences between one and other.

1. Pure shame

The purest form of shame is the one we have been developing since the beginning of the article. Is that which It is triggered by an injury towards another person and that triggers the perception of dishonor in the person who has caused it, and therefore, shame. Of all the types of shame, this is the most general, being a feeling that all people have experienced to a greater or lesser extent on occasion.

2. False shame

The next in types of shame may come as a surprise. It is the expression of false shame, which is given by a situation in which the person, in reality, has not committed the affront of which they are accused, for which he is being unjustly reproved. However, he experiences the feeling of shame, being equally accused.

You can even doubt his behavior and think that in reality he does correspond to the sentence to which he is being subjected.

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3. Shame of shame

Another type of shame is precisely a form of meta shame. What does it consist of? This typology appears when the person has experienced this emotion, for example, by being aware of the offense that he has committed in front of another person and therefore begins to feel the sensations that accompany. That is the trigger for the so-called secret shame, which is the shame to be ashamed.

When feeling this type of shame, it is common for affected people to try to hide the symptoms, because that is precisely what is triggering this second phase of shame.

4. Toxic shame

In the types of shame we also find a very specific modality that occurs under really extreme conditions. It's about toxic shame, and it's a reaction suffered by some children who, unfortunately, have been victims of sexual abuse.

These people usually suffer from a dissociation when it comes to managing this shame, which causes it to remain encapsulated until the subject has the necessary resources to face it.

Note that in this type of shame, the person who suffers it is not the one who has committed the affront, but quite the opposite. He is doubly a victim, first of all because of the abuses suffered and secondly because of the guilt and shame experienced by them, for which he had no responsibility.

5. Embarrassment

The last of the types of shame of shame that we can list is none other than that of vicarious shame, popularly known as shame of others. It is an indirect way of experiencing shame, since the person who is feeling this typology is not the one who has committed the offense or the one who has been affected, but is a spectator of said scene.

In this way, the individual who feels vicarious shame is empathizing with the person who feels shame. genuine, and therefore shares, to some extent, some of the symptoms of this emotion with the offender. Sometimes, it may even be the case that the person who feels the shame of others is experiencing it in a more intense way than the other subject.

Shame as a social stigma

We have compiled the different types of shame that are known. Now we will stop to do a quick analysis of the importance of shame historically in societies as a stigma, sometimes with serious repercussions for those who have suffered.

At different times and places the so-called insignia of shame has been used, a badge with which the person who was experiencing this situation could be publicly identified, so that everyone, even if they were oblivious to the affront, could make derision of said individual in a sometimes really cruel act.

This brand, which could sometimes consist of a certain clothing, a badge, a hat or even a physical brand, it was the indicative by which the person should be ashamed of their actions and would be hunted by them. Usually they were also ostracized, ceasing all kinds of social relationships, since the rest of the people did not want to be seen interacting with a marked person.

In some cases even the symbol consisted of depriving the subject of his footwear, causing him to walk barefoot or even naked, to atone for his guilt. You could also make a tattoo or even a mark with fire, so that it would be marked for life.

Without a doubt, this phenomenon represents one of the most humiliating forms of expression for those people who are experiencing some of the types of shame that we have known throughout these paragraphs.

Bibliographic references:

• Broucek, F. (1991). Shame and the Self. Guilford Press, New York.
• Darwin, C. (1872). The expression of the emotions in man and animals. London: John Murray.
• Hinshaw, S. (2006). Mark of Shame: Stigma of Mental Illness and an Agenda for Change. Oxford: Oxford University Press.
• Kaufman, G. (1992). Shame: The Power of Caring. Schenkman Books, Rochester.
• Tangney, J.P., Miller, R.S., Flicker, L., Barlow, D.H. (nineteen ninety six). Are shame, guilt, and embarrassment distinct emotions? Journal of Personal Social Psychology.