What are personal insecurities and how can you deal with them?

Personal insecurities mean that, every day, millions of people not only do not consider reaching goals that are meaningful to them, but make them feel bad just thinking about reach them. That is why they are a psychological problem frequently addressed in psychotherapy.

Here we will talk about what are personal insecurities and how they influence us.

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Understanding the basics of self-esteem

To understand what personal insecurities consist of, one must first know how to locate this psychological phenomenon in the broader concept of “self-esteem”.

We understand by self-esteem the set of beliefs and ideas that we associate with the concept of "I" and the emotions and feelings that these elements generate in us. In other words, self-esteem is how we feel in relation to what we think we know about ourselves as individuals.

If we go into more detail on this topic, we will see that self-esteem is made up of these elements:

• Stimuli recorded by the sensory organs and perceptual processes
• Self-concept (textual information generated by the person's mind)
• Emotional load (emotions and feelings linked to the rest of the elements of self-esteem)
• Social referents with whom we compare ourselves

On the other hand, self-esteem can be more or less adjusted to reality, and it causes problems when or it is. In this sense, personal insecurities arise when our self-esteem tends to be lower than it should and it generates in us a discomfort that paralyzes us and supposes us an obstacle when it comes to improving and progressing in some aspect of our lives.

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What exactly are personal insecurities?

Personal insecurities or personal complexes are a series of limiting beliefs about the "I", which lead us to magnify our imperfections and that pose an unnecessary limitation in our way of living life. That is, they are beliefs that anchor us to a low self-esteem in order not to test certain personal limits that we see as inevitable, linked to our essence as individuals.

An example of personal insecurities we have in a woman who, due to how she perceives the oz of her, assumes that everyone will make fun of her and therefore does not try to make friends. Another example: a man who, being the person in his group of friends who earns the least, assumes that he has no authority to talk about anything when he is with them.

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What to do when faced with the discomfort caused by personal insecurities?

Each case of problems due to personal insecurities has its own combination and causes, and the proposed solutions must be adapted to these and to the characteristics of the person who suffers them. But beyond this fact, there are some general tips that usually help in situations of this type. Let's see what they are.

1. Do not opt ​​for avoidance or rumination

Two of the least emotionally healthy ways to handle insecurities consist of two seemingly opposite attitudes. On the one hand, there are those who try to keep stimuli and thoughts related to your personal insecurities totally out of your consciousness.

On the other are those who, consciously or unconsciously, become so obsessed with the subject that they think about him constantly, either fantasizing about being a person totally liberated from those supposed defects or feeding tragic thoughts about how you are, the rejection that is hypothetically caused in others, etc.

Actually, These two ways of experiencing personal insecurities are very similar, because they both give them more strength, more prominence, and make us pay more attention to them, in addition to seeing them as something over which we have no control (because it is impossible to "block" thoughts).

As we will see, the appropriate ways to overcome personal insecurities are to accept their existence in the present, as well as the discomfort they generate, but without giving them more power than they have.

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2. Detect personal and media relationships that may be feeding them

Personal insecurities almost never have causes beyond the social environment of the person who suffers. Many times the media feed them claiming beauty canons and a media version of the famous that are totally unattainable.

Something similar can happen with certain friendships, especially when unfair criticism is used under the guise of honesty.

Knowing how to detect these problematic aspects is important to neutralize their influence on us, either by exposing ourselves less to them or, in the case of friends, confronting them about this fact to demand that they stop adopting that toxic attitude.

3. Distinguish between what you can change and what you can't

Behind many personal insecurities there are aspects of oneself that we cannot change, and others that can be improved. Establishes a list of each of these aspects making them fall into two different categories, and then select the most important of those that you see that you can change in the short or medium term. In this way you can set specific goals to achieve it and, by seeing your progress, you will have the necessary motivation to face the rest.

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4. Challenge stereotypes behind insecurities

It is very common for personal insecurities to feed on stereotypes that circulate across cultures. For example, ideas that are behind classism and “so much you have, so much ales” or gender roles keep people many people in situations of submission and apparent inability to overcome certain developmental limits personal.

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4. If you need it, go to therapy

If you see that nothing seems to work, the best option is to attend psychotherapy to have personalized psychological support adapted to you.

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Are you looking for professional psychological assistance?

If you are interested in starting a process of psychological therapy in the face of an emotional problem or psychological disorder that may be affecting you, get in touch with us.

On Advance Psychologists We have more than more than two decades of experience in the sector, and we serve people of all ages. Our services include individualized psychotherapy, family therapy, couples therapy, sexology, speech therapy, coaching, neuropsychology, and psychiatry. In addition, the sessions can be carried out in person at our center in Madrid or through the online mode by video call.