The 3 main causes of deep discouragement

Discouragement is part of us: all human beings have ever felt it.

In September, especially, he feels discouraged when returning to work or due to the gradual lack of sunlight (in winter we become more discouraged). In many cases, people do not really know if they are suffering from deep discouragement or even the onset of depression.

We feel apathy, the only desire to do nothing, to not want to relate, and in turn that same discouragement causes us concern and frustration.

Where do these feelings come from? When are we really talking about depression? How do you manage and understand that state of mind?

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What do we understand by discouragement?

Discouragement is one of the most disabling feelings in our life. It is not an intense state of mind, but a subtle one that conquers your actions, thoughts, routines and day to day.. Discouragement leads you to cancel plans, to want to start projects but finally you return to the mobile phone or the sofa, it isolates you and protects you in an invisible bubble. A protective bubble that is actually preventing you from living the way you want.

Feeling at certain times in our life several days of discouragement or a deep discouragement is a natural reaction to stressful stimuli or due to emotional learning. However, today it is much more frequent and disabling than before.

The reasons are clear: neither our way of life is adapted to our needs (but to economic, industrial, labor needs, etc.), nor our digital world of information about helps us (our recent attachment to technology causes discouragement as this technology works as a mechanism addictive... this includes both a mobile phone and social networks, streaming platforms, etc.), and above all, because Our culture makes us ignore discouragement, cover it up, until we already consider that depression caught.

In my work as a psychologist and coach accompanying people in their personal change processes, more and more people feel a recurring discouragement. It may be the first problem they want to change, or sometimes discouragement accompanies anxiety. This increase should not relax us: we must address the problem at its root, not just with patches. Why do we get so discouraged? How to manage that feeling so that it is not so intense, frequent and long-lasting?

Here I am going to talk to you about the 3 main causes of discouragement and their solutions according to the real cases of people who had this problem in recent years and who I have accompanied in their processes to solve it at the 100%. Let's go for it.

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The causes of deep discouragement, and how they affect you

Discouragement is a feeling associated with sadness, including tiredness and the idea that what we do will not be worth it. We could understand discouragement as a kind of sadness of low intensity but that is maintained with the days or weeks, exactly like anxiety is a fear that has become widespread and accompanies us every day.

However, discouragement does not necessarily have to be depression. Depression is a state of greater discouragement whose diagnosis requires several conditions, some of them being the sustainability of time (between 3 and 6 months) and above all that the symptoms prevent us from having a functional life in some aspect (not being able to go to work, avoiding relationships, etc.).

In the case of discouragement, yeah we can face what is just and necessary, but we live it without illusion or motivation. Here comes the first surprise: discouragement, very contrary to what we believe, is not a primary problem, but a consequence.

Human beings are not easily discouraged because it is neither functional nor practical to be discouraged. Discouragement is always a consequence or result of a root problem that, if not solved in time, triggers discouragement. There can be three causes for discouragement.

1. Reaction to external events

Throughout our lives we live difficult situations and experiences, which we do not expect, subject us to stress and cause us to be discouraged. It can be a shocking and unexpected event (a breakup, health problem, death of a loved one) or an accumulation of stress with the passing of the time (when we live restricting our illusions due to personal, work factors, a relationship where we depend too much on the other and you forget about your well-being, etc.).

Sometimes, this discouragement may also be due to a dysfunctional way of relating to your own well-being. For example: faced with prolonged periods of routine with clear objectives (finish the race, face a opposition, etc.) we can feel a kind of emptiness that leads us to discouragement when we have already reached that objective.

This discouragement factor is caused, above all, by having built a form of motivation extrinsic: we get used to receiving well-being from external factors that in the long term we cannot control.

We really cannot control these external factors. The solution is to learn to build well-being from your own means, favoring a form of intrinsic motivation that depends more on you.

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2. Reaction to anxiety

This is the most common cause of discouragement. And what does anxiety have to do with discouragement? Anxiety is a generalized state of fear, an intense and exhausting state, while discouragement is associated with sadness, lack of motivation and fatigue.

That is precisely the relationship, and this is the reason for how frequent the diagnosis of "anxious-depressive" is.

Anxiety is a state of alertness, living conditioned by a fear that we have not been able to manage in time. Anxiety is born from our way of breathing (hence it is mainly felt in the chest), it infects our thoughts, actions, and it is totally exhausting. For this reason discouragement arises: as a result of anxiety.

Living conditioned by anxiety for too long is such an exhausting process that our body tends to become discouraged in order to reduce activation. In the same way that an outburst of anger or a couple argument leaves us exhausted, anxiety leads us to hopeless discouragement.

However, treating discouragement (much more if it is through chemicals) without working with the main problem, such as anxiety, leads us to less than promising results in the long term: discouragement is normalized and we cannot do the learning by ourselves.

Thus, anxiety is probably the first and most important cause of discouragement. Ask yourself: when did your discouragement start to arise? What situations, interpretations or experiences led you to it through anxiety?

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3. The way you deal with and manage discouragement

Feeling discouraged at certain times in our life is part of our human nature. We live pleasant experiences but also difficult moments that we do not know how to face. Sometimes a succession of those moments or the reaction to anxiety can lead to discouragement.

Another fundamental factor is how you manage discouragement. Depending on your perception, actions and management of emotion, discouragement can intensify, last for a longer or shorter time, or increase or decrease its frequency.

It is something typical that a person who suffers from anxiety, for example, and is overcoming the problem, understands as a kind of failure to live an afternoon or night of anxiety. It is not at all, but is part of a natural process.

In the same way, when we cling to discouragement and our actions are carried away by that state of mind, it will be much more difficult to manage it. Managing discouragement does not mean that you make it go away, but that you understand it, accept it, and take different actions aimed at improving your mood.

This is a learning that serves you for your whole life, since it makes you aware of your emotions and above all of how to manage them so that they are in your favor instead of against you.

Important: try detect if in your day-to-day you frequently resort to an external stimulus to make yourself feel good, such as the mobile (constantly needing to look at the mobile, watch television programs ...), smoke, binge on food, etc.

In this case, you are using these external factors as a mechanism of satisfaction and encouragement, but which in turn cause more anxiety and subsequent discouragement. For your change process to work, it is necessary to detect how you now manage your state of mind so that it depends mainly on you and you have it in your favor.

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In conclusion

You will have discovered that in all three causes there is something in common: first of all we talk about emotions. Both mood and discouragement, fear, insecurity, anxiety, anger, frustration, guilt, even motivationThey are states that depend on emotions.

We are emotional beings, we are always excited, and therefore emotion influences all our processes. Your way of motivating yourself, thinking, deciding, interpreting, relating, communicating and acting are influenced not by your emotions, but by your way of understanding and managing those emotions.

This is the reason why any process of personal change will be lame if you do not work with your emotion management.

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I'm going to make you a special invitation now. In empoderamientohumano.com you have the option to schedule an exploratory session with me, which can be via WhatsApp from the comfort of your home. We can explore the causes of your discouragement, find solutions and see how I can accompany you in your process so that you achieve the change you need 100%.