Socio-emotional skills: characteristics, functions and examples

Socio-emotional skills they are an aspect that, historically, little was worked on in school despite the fact that they are something fundamental so that, as adults, we are socially adjusted individuals.

There are many skills of this type, all of them very useful and that need to be strengthened in order to be able to relate in a well-adapted way with the social environment.

We'll take a closer look at this concept below, as well as discover a few helpful social-emotional skills and how to work on them.

• Related article: "What is social psychology?"

What are social emotional skills?

We could define socio-emotional skills as those learned behaviors that we carry out when we interact with other people and that are useful to us in expressing our feelings, attitudes, opinions and defend our rights. For example, among them we can highlight self-knowledge, self-control, empathy or the ability to collaborate with others.

Developing these types of skills is very important, since they help us to relate assertively and functional with others, in addition to helping us achieve our goals in a social context from which we cannot pull apart.

Although there is no strict classification on what types of social-emotional skills there are, there are we can classify them into more basic skills and more complex skills.

We could understand the basic ones as those that are relatively simple, but fundamental to be able to acquire more complex skills. Among them we could highlight being able to listen, maintain a conversation, assertiveness, give thanks, introduce yourself... while in complex ones we would have, for example, take the initiative, set goals or resolve conflicts.

Socio-emotional skills in childhood

Socio-emotional skills They can be worked at any age, however, it is during childhood that it is most productive to acquire them. It is known to all that when we are children it is easier for us to automate according to what type of behavior and acquire new knowledge. These behaviors and knowledge can include socio-emotional skills and for this reason childhood is such an appropriate period to teach them.

In addition to the family environment, the school exerts a great weight on the behavior and personality of the individual. It is in this place where not only new academic knowledge is acquired but, in addition, it is possible to put into practice the various socio-emotional skills, especially interacting with the rest of the companions. For this reason, educational centers, under a more modern educational perspective and not so focused on the cognitive, they have been incorporating into the academic curriculum the implementation of various social and emotional competencies.

Not acquiring socio-emotional skills such as self-control, assertive communication, conflict resolution or empathy can be a problem for the child once he is an adult. In adulthood It is very good to have deep knowledge of a certain subject, but it is not of much use if you do not have the socio-emotional skills to be able to express them or relate to others.

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Types and examples

There are many socio-emotional skills that we could highlight, but the fundamental ones are those described below.

1. Resilience

Resilience is a fundamental capacity in every person, since it is what makes us suffer the most or less before a situation that is adverse to us, such as difficult, stressful events or traumatic.

This ability is essential to the extent that no one has a perfect life. We all go through ups and downs at some point in our lives, so it is necessary to learn to manage them and, to the extent that it is in our hands, learn to cope with it.

For example, having good resilience is synonymous with the fact that, in the event that our parents divorce, we break up with our partner or our sisters tend to embitter our existence, we will have and recover the physical and mental energy to overcome the bad time.

• You may be interested: "Resilience: definition and 10 habits to enhance it"

2. Self-knowledge

Self-knowledge we understand the ability to know oneself, both cognitively and emotionally. That is, it is about the ability to know what we are feeling at all times, make evaluations realistic in relation to our own abilities and knowing what we are good at and what we have difficulties.

In this skill, aspects related to emotional intelligence are mixed, specifically the intrapersonal type, and also cognitive aspects, especially metacognition.

3. Tenacity

Tenacity or perseverance is the ability to continue working towards a goal that we have set for ourselves, in the medium or long term. It perseveres when, despite not having the desired results, we continue working to achieve our goal.

4. Social conscience

Social awareness is the understanding that others are also feeling things and being able to take different perspectives when interacting with them. To be socially conscious is to understand that we are not alone in the world and that, in the same way that others have obligations and rights, so do we.

5. Collaboration

Collaboration is the ability to coordinate with others to achieve a common goal, beneficial for all. It is not only to achieve a specific goal, such as working in a work group to obtain the approved or finalize a project, but also collaborates to be able to have an adequate coexistence. It is cooperating so that we all feel well-being together.

6. Empathy

Empathy is widely known as the ability to put yourself in the shoes of others and synchronize with your emotions. It is experiencing what others are feeling and it is, clearly, a capacity closely related to emotional intelligence, of an interpersonal nature.

7. Self-management

Closely related to self-knowledge, we understand emotional self-management as the ability to identify our emotions and use them as drivers to reach a goal. It is learning to be aware of the need to delay rewards to achieve our goals, and to develop perseverance to tolerate frustration.

We can manage positive emotions and negative emotions. If we are happy we can use that good humor to continue studying for an exam or talk to a friend. If we are angry, instead of paying it with someone close we can manage it by channeling our anger by going to run or, if we know someone who can listen to us, talk to them so that we can vent, in a peaceful.

8. Responsible decision making

Although it is perhaps still something complicated during childhood, educating in correct decision-making can be a fundamental aspect for the child, once they have reached adulthood, to behave in a controlled and well-controlled manner adapted.

Throughout life there are many situations in which we have to decide which way to go. One may carry more risks than the other, but also more benefits. Learning to decide correctly, based on more or less objective criteria and not based on impulses, can be a good way to avoid disappointments in the future.

For example, a good decision-making is to decide not to start smoking when a friend invites us to a cigarette, or to decide to avoid drinking alcohol during the week. In these decisions, the decision to have good health has been imposed than social pressure.

9. Assertive communication

Assertive communication is a very useful communication style for any situation, since it is the learn to communicate what we want to say openly. Each person has the right to express themselves and, as long as it is from respect and tolerance, each one can assert their opinion.

10. Personal relationships

Socio-emotional skills have a component clearly related to emotions and are used for social purposes. The most useful purpose of these is their application when interacting with others.

Learning to introduce yourself, talk with others and interact in a friendly way are fundamental aspects if you want to have an adaptive relationship and be a socially adjusted individual. You cannot have friends if your communicative and relational style is passive-aggressive, or does not invite you to have a good conversation.

How to develop them?

As we have commented, it is very important to focus on enhancing social-emotional skills during childhood. Whether in the family or in school, boys and girls must learn how to relate in an adjusted way with others, in addition to knowing how to manage their emotions for beneficial purposes, such as achieving goals.

Education must focus and have, as its main function, the social adaptation of the individual. This entails promoting their integration into society, interacting with others, developing different ways of feeling, thinking and acting. All this is essential to be able to end up being a well-adjusted individual when they reach adulthood.

But although you should try to promote as many social-emotional skills as possible, it is true that teaching work should focus on those skills that are most likely and useful in the individual's life, both in the short and long term.

For example, empathy and collaboration are skills that should take a certain priority before tenacity or resilience, especially during preschool and early elementary school. It's later that those two skills can be introduced, like late elementary school.

Bibliographic references:

• Zins, J.E., Elias, M.J., Greenberg, M. T and Weissberg, R.P (2000). Promoting social and emotional competence in children. In K. Minke and G. Bear (Eds.), Preventing school problems, promoting that work (pp. 71-100). Bethesda: National Association of School Psychologists.
• Lickona, Thomas. (1992). Educating for Character: How Our Schools can Teach Respect and Responsibility. Batan Books, New York, USA.
• Shields, A., Dickstein, S., Seifer, R., Guisti, L., Magee K.D., & Spritz, B. (2001). Emotional competence and early school adjustment: A study of preschoolers at risk. Early Education and Development, 12, 73-96.