Is it possible to sing in the rain?

For many years, a discourse has been spreading according to which being happy is equivalent to "reaching" certain stages of life that consist of accumulating material and social goods.

On the one hand, earn enough money to make purchases such as a home, a car, certain types of high-quality clothing and accessories that supposedly reflect the value of the person, etc. On the other hand, the creation of a family based on the traditional family model, with children and even, if possible, a pet.

That is the idea that happiness means meeting a series of requirements linked to the concept of "ideal citizen" has been defended. emerged in welfare societies, which are based on consumerism and certain expectations associated with romantic love in heterosexual people.

This is already problematic in itself because it implies that a person cannot be happy if he does not meet those requirements, something that does not cost much to see that he does not corresponds to reality: it is not rare at all to see people who have access to happiness despite not having a partner or children, or who live off rental.

Now... What happens when a person is not only far from that ideal of happiness, but In addition, he falls into a crisis stage that brings him closer to situations that we actively associate with unhappiness? Can a person continue to be happy despite a difficult situation around him? Let's see it next.

• Related article: "On happiness: what is it that we all seek?"

Is it possible to be happy in the face of adversity?

If something characterizes the human being, it is their ability to modify their behaviors and the way they think and handle their emotions in order to adapt to the environment. This extraordinary psychological flexibility is what has allowed us, among other things, to be one of the very few species of large land mammals capable of living on all continents and in a wide variety of ecosystems, for example.

Now, as animals capable of learning all kinds of things, this ability is not only reflected in the way we take advantage of the resources available around us to meet our biological needs necessary for short survival term. In addition, we are able to learn to adjust our emotions to situations that, from the point of view of Western societies, may at first seem impossible to overcome.

For example, it is known that people who suffer injuries or illnesses that deprive them of the ability to use one of their senses (for example, alterations that produce acquired blindness) or that suffer loss of limbs, after a weather, are able to achieve levels of well-being and happiness comparable to those before going through that health problem.

And the same happens in many cases in which the problem is not in the body itself, but in the context life of the person: either the family context, the city in which they live, the country of residence, etc.

The key concept to understand why we are able to adapt to this type of situation not only in a practical or instrumental sense, but also emotionally and in terms of our ability to experience well-being and even happiness, it is what in Psychology is known as resilience.

• You may be interested in: "Emotional crisis: why does it occur and what are its symptoms?"

What do we understand by resilience?

Resilience is ours ability to psychologically overcome crisis situations, that is, the ability we have at the time not only to prevent discomfort from paralyzing us and preventing us from seeking solutions to a problem, but also to adapt to certain deficiencies and cope with a certain level of discomfort of a mode stoic, without focusing on everything that causes discomfort and does not depend on us, and focusing on what we can change.

Thus, having a good level of resilience involves readjusting our expectations, accepting a certain level of discomfort to emotional pain and actively get involved in actions aimed at improving our situation (and / or that of the people around us), so that this project is, in turn, something capable of stimulating us and making us feel motivation and enthusiasm for the progress we can make in that sense.

Thus, resilience is also known more informally as "the psychological immune system": after a period of misadjustment, it helps us face adversity and cope with very complicated situations.

• Related article: "Resilience: definition and 10 habits to enhance it"

The ability to be a happy person is not lost

Resilience is not disconnected from our ability to be happy. In fact, the adoption of this active role in the achievement of goals is a source of well-being in itself, and even a means through which we can obtain happiness. Paradoxically, it can happen that a person feels happier shortly after entering a stage crisis that when he perceived that all his objective needs were satisfied. this?

The answer has to do with the following: happiness is not and cannot be the product of an accumulation of goods or social status that is easy to determine. If so, there would be an instruction manual to achieve happiness, which would be similar to a shopping list.

Happiness is a psychological state that arises when we get involved in projects that have an important meaning for us and that go beyond the avoidance of pain or even access to experiences that offer us comfort. And that is why when we start our "resilient mode" we are capable of being happy.

Of course, this does not mean that it is useless to strive for societies that guarantee the satisfaction of basic needs for the entire population, or that poverty should not be fought. One thing is individual psychological processes, and another thing is social transformations that can help people gain control and decision-making capacity over their lives. However, we must not forget that happiness is a construction process in which there is no Pre-established starting box and arrival box, and for that very reason it challenges us all and all.