5 signs to identify an emotional dependency (and what to do)

Emotional dependence is a reality that many people live with. It is a psychological problem that profoundly affects the different areas of a person's life. Many times it is a difficulty that is not easy to detect, since its signs are not always obvious. The person who experiences dependence on others may assume their style of behavior as normal. relationship, since he probably has not known other ways to bond with family, friends or couples

In addition, those who do recognize that something is not going well tend to feel a lot of fear and shame when talking about it, since it is never easy to recognize that we are hooked on a person. This phenomenon is not exclusive to a small group of people, but is widespread. On the contrary, anyone is susceptible to developing this problem in their interpersonal relationships.

Men and women experience it equally, and in the same way we can detect dependency relationships in all age groups. Emotional dependence is usually present in all relationships of the person who suffers it. To a greater or lesser extent, the dependent individual repeats the same relational pattern over and over again, since many times the root of the problem is found in their experiences of interaction more early.

For this reason, it is essential to detect the problem when it is happening, in order to stop this dynamic that harms not only the person himself but also the people with whom he relates. In this article we are going to reflect those signs that may be indicating that there is emotional dependence in a person.

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How can I identify an emotional dependency in a relationship)

As we have been commenting, emotional dependence is a phenomenon that, far from being anecdotal, is very present in many relationships. Although the dependent person usually shows this tendency in all their relationships, it is the bonds of The partner in whom she is is more explicit, due to the intimacy of relationships romantic Let's see what indicators are related to an emotionally dependent partner:

1. Difficulty setting limits

Emotionally dependent people often have a hard time saying "NO". For this reason, they tend to be carried away by the wishes of the other without asserting their own rights. The fear of losing the partner makes the person do everything possible to like him. In this way, the emotional dependent is presented as someone extremely accommodating, who is always satisfied and never expresses his own opinion. In this sense, the person shows great deficiencies in assertive skills, so it is frequent that the member dependent on the relationship avoid arguments, speak with little determination, agree to do things that you do not really want, etc.

This dynamic constitutes the perfect breeding ground for a toxic relationship to be established, in which the couple works according to the interests of only one of both members. For this reason, this difficulty in setting limits can lead to the beginning of an abusive relationship, since the dominant member imposes his wishes and his power over the other.

Many people who are in emotionally dependent relationships have grown up in abusive or extremely cold and authoritarian family environments. This generates a negative view of relationships from the beginning, in which one's own needs They are left aside and their own opinions have been considered irrelevant compared to those of the rest.

2. Inability to be alone

Emotional dependence is closely linked to the fear of being alone. Many people have suffered a lack of affection throughout their first years in the family environment, so they try to compensate for this lack with very absorbing adult relationships. Although the role of early experiences carries a lot of weight in this matter, also the style of Each individual's personality will exert a prominent influence and make fear of fear more or less likely. loneliness.

The fear of loneliness is a phenomenon that has many implications. The dependent person will try to be in a relationship at all costs. That is, the company of anyone is preferred over loneliness, which can lead to entering into romantic relationships with people who are harmful, toxic, or for whom there are no feelings real. This can lead to the dependent person accepting behaviors that, within the framework of a healthy relationship, would be unacceptable. Fear of losing your partner can lead to disrespect, contempt, and humiliation being accepted.

In addition to everything stated here, it is also characteristic of a dependent person the tendency to avoid prolonged periods of loneliness between the end of one relationship and the beginning of the next. Often times, you may end up in an unsatisfactory romantic relationship until you are really sure that there will be another surrogate partner.

3. Tendency to idealization

Another of the signs of emotional dependence is low self-esteem. The person usually perceives himself as someone lacking in qualities and full of defects. In addition, she tends to make continuous comparisons between herself and others, in which she always praises the virtues of others against the less good aspects of her person.

All this has a significant impact on the dynamics of their romantic relationships, since they idealize their partners, whom they usually see as perfect individuals. The person may come to feel surprise or surprise at the fact that a person wishes to maintain a romantic relationship with them. Thus, the dependent member of the couple will always tend to blame her person for the responsibility for conflicts and setbacks that may appear in the course of the relationship.

There is a continuous self-criticism and self-crushing, at the same time that the look towards the actions of the other is very skewed. This means that all the mistakes that the other can make always have some justification that exempts them from assuming some kind of responsibility. In this state, a person with emotional dependence will not conceive the possibility of enjoying unconditional love. On the contrary, she will do everything possible to conform to the other, since she understands that only then will she be accepted and loved as she wishes.

This idealization can also greatly misalign the expectations that the person has of their partner. Emotional dependence leads a person to hope that her relationship is the solution to all their difficulties as well as the only source of her happiness. This sugary, unrealistic view of what a relationship is can cause a lot of discomfort when you compare expectations with real life.

4. Conflicts with family and friends

Although emotional dependence can be identified if we pay attention to the details that we are commenting on, it is really difficult to recognize that one is suffering from it oneself. On many occasions, the environment of the dependent person observes with concern how the person is subject to the wishes and preferences of the partner. The reaction that usually appears in friends and family is to talk with the person about what is happening, in order to convey their perception of it and offer help.

However, on many occasions the reaction is defensive and even aggressive, since someone who suffers from dependency is in a loop of fears and insecurities which is very difficult get out. Although at first this response is natural, the family must remain available to the affected person so that, progressively, you can become more aware that your relationship is not healthy.

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5. Abandonment of own needs

In line with everything that we have been commenting on so far, the person who suffers emotional dependence will progressively prioritize the needs of the other before their own. It is an insidious process, in which the dependent member of the couple begins to put aside everything that is part of their personal life outside the relationship.

Examples of this are going out with friends or hobbies. Progressively, the abandonment of oneself will increase, so that in the most severe cases psychological disorders such as anxiety or depression may appear. By putting all his efforts and energies into pleasing the partner, the person is left unreserved to attend to his own needs.

Conclusions

In this article we have discussed what emotional dependence is and the signs that indicate that it may be occurring. This phenomenon is widely extended, although it is still a very serious problem that can destroy the well-being and health of a person. In this sense, it is essential to work to educate from childhood on the necessary bases for healthy relationships in adulthood.

The work of self-esteem, emotional management and the creation of a suitable family environment with links between healthy parents and children is key. From childhood it is essential that children can feel loved and valued for who they are, since a Proper concept of oneself is one of the keys to being an adult with free relationships of dependence.