The 12 most important social-emotional skills (and how to work them)

Socio-emotional skills could be defined as a set of skills that allow us to have an adequate relationship with ourselves, favoring self-knowledge and self-acceptance. This, in turn, helps us to relate to our environment in a healthy way. Ultimately, emotional skills are crucial tools to face life itself.

These types of skills allow us, among other things, to empathize with others, establish relationships healthy social situations, behave assertively, take responsibility and commit to our goals, etc. Until the end of the last century, intelligence was associated exclusively with academic skills. However, research in this regard began to see that good intellectual capacity was not always a guarantee of academic, professional and personal success. It is then that a new element appeared in the equation: emotional and social capacities.

• We recommend you read: "How to be more charismatic in 8 infallible keys"

What are social emotional skills?

While adequate intellectual abilities are a good first step towards success, they must be accompanied by emotional abilities. The latter favor the learning process and promote abilities such as thinking critical, perseverance at work toward long-term goals, or skills to solve problems. In general terms,

socio-emotional skills are observed in individuals with the following characteristics:

• They are able to focus on their goals while showing proper management of their emotional states.
• They show better academic and professional performance than those who are not emotionally skilled.
• They make better decisions
• They exhibit less risky behaviors (violence, addictions ...)
• More satisfying and enriching social life
• Lower stress levels
• Higher levels of general well-being

It should be noted that these skills must be trained from childhood, since childhood and adolescence are the key stages to acquire them. However, this does not mean that they cannot be worked on and trained in other phases of the life cycle. Changes in emotional abilities are always possible, especially when there is a real motivation to improve the way of relating to oneself and to others.

Due to the importance that these skills have in the well-being of people, in this article we are going to collect the most important ones and indicate what each one of them consists of.

What are the main socio-emotional skills?

As we said, we are always on time to acquire new emotional skills that allow us to improve and achieve success in different areas of our life. We are going to review the most important ones and see what function each one of them fulfills.

1. Empathy

When an individual empathizes with another it means that he is able to understand the perspective of another person, understanding the emotions that she experiences and how it can be felt. Empathic people know how to understand others from their point of view and not from their own, and therefore they can regulate their behavior in such a way that the other feels understood and welcomed.

2. Self-control

Self-control is a basic skill for life in society. Individuals with good self-control are able to manage their emotions appropriately. Thus, they let their emotions arise naturally but they do not allow them to inevitably determine their behavior. That is, these people emit their behaviors rationally and not according to their passing impulses.

3. Assertiveness

Assertive people are able to set limits, convey their feelings, and defend their rights. This allows them to find the middle ground between a submissive attitude in which their own rights are undermined and an authoritarian attitude in which the rights of others are despised. This ability allows to act in a balanced way so that there is reciprocal respect and communication with other people.

4. Problem solving skills

This skill is especially useful in everyday life, although it is not always easy to manage conflict situations. People with good resolution skills can face setbacks and challenges that are presented to them from temperance and analytical attitude. In this way, they can assess a given situation by finding the perfect balance between reason and emotion, thus choosing the most appropriate solution for each case.

5. Resilience

Resilience is the ability to adapt to adverse situations while maintaining emotional balance and obtaining positive results.. It is something like the ability to get up again after having fallen. This does not mean that resilient people do not suffer when they experience traumatic experiences or failures, but that after the pain they can rebuild themselves to emerge stronger.

Research on this ability indicates that it will be higher or lower in each individual depending on both individual and environmental factors. Among the individual aspects that favor resilience, empathy, perseverance, self-esteem or cognitive abilities stand out. Among the environmental factors we can find positive family ties, feeling loved and care, family stability, good access to cultural means, absence of violence in the area of residence, etc.

6. Leadership

Leadership has to do with the ability to influence the thinking and behavior of other people. There are several types of leadership, although not all are positive. When the ability to be a leader is used correctly, the person applies other qualities already mentioned (empathy, self-control, assertiveness ...) so that the group he leads works towards a common goal while ensuring the well-being of all members.

7. Perseverance

Persistent people are able to remain constant in their efforts directed towards a certain goal. Perseverance is the ability that allows us to stand firm despite the obstacles we may encounter along the way. When someone has this ability, they are able to work towards long-term goals, without getting carried away by short-term or temporary incentives.

8. Collaboration

Collaboration has to do with the ability to work together with other people to achieve a common goal. It's no wonder this skill is on this list, as we are undoubtedly social beings and together we achieve greater things than separately. However, not all people have the ability to cooperate with others.

For example, there are those who are not capable of respecting other opinions or do not know how to delegate when it corresponds to them. Working in a team properly requires meeting the skills we have discussed above: assertiveness, empathy, problem-solving skills, among others.

9. Critical thinking

Critical thinking is the skill that allows individuals to analyze reality, detect issues to improve and offer alternatives to achieve it. People with this capacity are able to detect possible points to work on and criticize in a constructive way. That is, they know how to convey what must be changed and how to do it not to hurt or harm others but to achieve positive change.

10. Decision making

Nobody said that making decisions was an easy task. However, decision-making is a primary competence for life, since we continually have to choose between different alternatives. Skilled decision-makers never act on impulse, but stop to assess the situation in order to assess the pros and cons of each option and the possible consequences of each possible performance. In addition, they are able to take this step by taking responsibility for their actions with all the consequences.

11. Social skills

As we mentioned earlier, humans are social individuals. Therefore, we need to establish healthy and reinforcing relationships with others to feel emotionally full. Interacting with others intelligently is not always easy. People with this kind of ability they know how to function both verbally and non-verbally when communicating with others.

They know how to stand firm in the face of social pressures and, in the same way, they know how to negotiate in conflict situations in order to achieve a solution that benefits all parties. They are also capable of asking others for help when they need it, something that many individuals find difficult.

12. Initiative

People with initiative are characterized by being proactive in all the activities in which they are involved. They are people who seek to start projects and live experiences, since their desire to grow and learn far outweigh the possible fears that may arise. Initiative is often related to creativity, since people with ideas innovators are more likely to initiate new activities and mobilize resources to materialize His plans.

Conclusions

In this article we have reviewed the main most important socio-emotional skills. Although intellectual capacities are important to get along in life, they are not nothing if they are not accompanied by a good background of tools related to intelligence emotional. The key to success is not an exact equation, although it is clear that all those who succeed know how to function on the socio-emotional level.

They know and regulate their emotional states, they know how to relate to others in a healthy way, they work and cooperate as a team, they know how to lead in a healthy way. adjusted, they are persevering and never give up, since obstacles and failures are perceived as a source of learning and not as a limitation in the path. It is clear that, regardless of the discipline we are talking about, emotions are the basis of human functioning and intelligence is only a cognitive issue, but also a social one.