Setting an Example for Your Children: 6 Helpful Tips

Parents are the greatest reference for children, especially when they are very young. They learn the way to behave with the world through their parents, whose behaviors they do not question at any time.

Children learn everything from their parents, both the good and the bad. If parents respect the rules, have a healthy lifestyle, and interact respectfully with others, children will learn to do the same. Instead, adults do the opposite, children will learn it too.

Knowing how to set an example for your children is difficult. It is not always correct since parents, no matter how adult they are, are still human who can make mistakes. Fortunately, you can be careful and do your best to be a good example for the little ones, which we are going to talk about next.

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The importance of setting an example before the little ones in the house

The German physicist Albert Einstein, probably the most iconic scientist in history, said "educating by example is not a way to educate, it is the only way". Children learn by imitation, and the first people they copy in their actions, attitudes, and comments are parents and other family members.

The example is one of the best tools that parents have to educate their children.

Although we may not realize it, every father and mother sets an example for his children every day with everything he does. Young children are innocent beings, rarely questioning what they see their parents do and say, and for them, their reference figures always do the right thing, whatever it is. Every action that parents take, no matter how minimal, has a great impact on their children, especially in the way they organize reality and in getting closer to others and to those around them.

Bearing this in mind, before recriminating our son or daughter, we must reflect and understand that it is quite likely that their behavior is due to our error. Children learn both the good and the bad from us and it is ironic that, by scolding them, we may be reproaching them for something they have seen us do on more than one occasion.

We do not always commune with what we preach and, no matter how small they are, children end up realizing it. It doesn't make much sense for us to tell them not to lie, not to swear, to tidy up their room, and not to yell when we break these rules. Practice beats theory, and a thousand words are useless if our example is not consistent with them.

Therefore, as responsible, mature and self-controlled adults, we must watch our actions and be aware of when we do it wrong. We have the right to fail, because to err is human, but to rectify is wise. If we commit a fault, we must tell our son, explaining that we did it wrong and that he should not imitate that behavior, that sometimes adults are wrong.

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Setting an example for your children: education strategies

There are many ways to set an example for your children. Any correct action, ethically appropriate and respectful of others and with the rules are good examples to educate children. We could give an almost infinite list of all kinds of actions that will help us to make children learn values ​​and become future adults good and respectful people, but we can highlight the following:

1. Tell the truth

Many parents truly believe that scolding their children when they lie is the best way to teach them not to commit this transgression. Telling lies is something that is considered unethical in most cultures. About three-quarters of parents say they teach their children that lying is wrong, but virtually all admit that they do not always tell the truth to their children.

It does not make sense that we pretend that our children do not lie if we ourselves are the first that we are not sincere with them. When they realize that we have lied to them, they will end up seeing the lie as something normal And, considering how they idolize their parents when they are very young, they will think that lying is something typical of good people.

By lying to them we lose the opportunity to educate certain values. For example, when we are in a supermarket and he throws us a tantrum that he wants us to buy him a candy, instead of lying to him saying "no I have money ”we can say“ there are many things that I would like to buy myself, but I do not do it because that way I can save so that we can all go to holidays".

Although praise is fine and encouraging our children is something that will help their self-esteem and psychological well-being, we cannot lie to them about their abilities.. By saying that they are better than they really are, we lose the opportunity to teach them the value of modesty and understand that each one has their strengths but also his weaknesses.

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2. Teach them to listen by listening to them

Many parents do everything possible to make their children listen to them and, seeing that there is no way, they end up complaining and saying that their children do not listen to them. Nevertheless, How many times is it the adults who ignore the little ones? How many times have our children come to us excited to tell us something and we have answered them with a resounding "not now"?

It is difficult to get our children to listen to us if we do not pay attention to them few times. Although it may cost us, the ideal is to take a moment to attend them and tell them that just at that moment we cannot, but that in a while for sure they will and we will have all the time they need to tell us what they want say them.

A) Yes, they will value our time while they will see that we value their experiences, opinions and anything they have to say to us. By listening to our children when we are speaking, without ignoring them, we will ensure that, when we are the ones speaking, they are interested in what we say to them.

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3. Not scream

It often happens that on more than one occasion we tell our son not to scream, telling him to scream as loud or louder than him. It is true that patience has a limit, but as parents we must make an effort to keep a cool mind and be rational.

Anger is contagious and parents are not immune to it. If we lose our temper frequently, screaming and yelling, our children will end up learning that this is a normal way of communicating.

As a tip, if you see that you are getting angry, try to breathe, count to 10 and if nothing works, leave the room until you calm down. It is also important to be able to rest well, since the lack of hours of sleep increases anxiety and reduces patience.

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4. Respect the rules

We want our kids to follow the rules, but how many times have they seen you double park? And sit in the reserved seats on the bus? Do you steal pens from your office? If so, of course you are not teaching your children to respect the rules, because you are the first to break them.

These types of infractions may seem harmless, but they actually have the consequence that we are teaching our children that it is okay to break the rules and even the law. It will be very difficult for you to get your children to follow the rules at home if in the world out there you do not respect them.

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5. Do productive hobbies

Many parents complain that their children are lazy and waste time with unproductive hobbies. The truth is that no hobby is unproductive, while entertainment, as long as it is healthy, provides us with psychological well-being in most cases. The idea that video games, comics or series are useless and uncultured hobbies is so absurd that it is not worth wasting time discussing it.

However, if what we want is for our children to be “productive” and read, play sports or play a instrument, we will have to be the ones who start reading, doing sports or playing a instrument. Our hobbies will end up being your hobbies with a high probability.

It should also be said that if we do not want our children to be hooked on the mobile, the computer and the television, their thing is that we ourselves set an example by moving away from these media. They can continue to be used as entertainment, but restricting the hours of use and, also, avoiding exceeding two or three hours a day using them.

6. Show tolerance for frustration

This is a fundamental value to teach our children. If you are one of those parents who are overwhelmed in the slightest, I have bad news for you: your children will be like that too. It is vitally important that you help your children tolerate the ups and downs of life, whether it is because of a mistake of their own or because of one of another.

If they do not learn to manage their emotions in the face of adversity and inconvenience, they will be adults who will drown in a glass of water. We set an example by showing them how we stand up in the face of adversity and, although we have a hard time, we do not give up looking for solutions, accepting that there are things that can be changed and others that cannot.