How to manage negative emotions: 9 tips

Anger, rage, sadness, despair, anguish... all of them are emotions and sensations that do not work for us. precisely pleasant and that involve suffering from a certain discomfort that most of us would like to avoid. However, that they are not palatable does not imply that they are not to some extent healthy, having mostly a sense that pushes us to a type of behavior that can be adaptive as long as they are not carried out extreme.

That is why more than avoiding them, we should learn to manage them. In this article we will see a series of guidelines that allow us understand how to manage negative emotions.

• Related article: "What is emotional intelligence?"

Emotions and their consideration

We understand by emotion a concrete and subjective affective state that is experienced during a relatively short period of time and that is characterized by generating some type of activation or way of functioning determined in our organism that in turn can serve to favor some type of behavior.

They allow us to give a certain value to the experience

, be it internal or external, and are born from within people innately. Its appearance in a specific situation, however, is largely mediated by environmental influences and the subject's previous experiences and learning.

Generally we tend to divide emotions between positive and negative, depending on the type of activation that it generates in us and the association between said activation and the lived experience. In general, we consider positive those that generate some kind of pleasure (joy, illusion or calm would be examples) while the ones that are annoying or painful are the negative ones (sadness, anger or hopelessness).

Both types of emotions, as well as others considered neutral (for example, surprise) actually have an adaptive function for the organism, since they lead us to tend to act in a certain way.

• You may be interested: "Emotional psychology: main theories of emotion"

Guidelines on how to manage negative emotions

This also includes negative ones, even though they are undesirable for us. For example, anger, anguish or rage pushes us to move against something that we consider unfair or that causes us discomfort, and sadness makes us We seek protection or reduce our level of activity in certain situations in which an excess of action could be an expense energetic).

This is relevant since very often we want to avoid experiencing negative emotions at all costs, despite the fact that to a certain degree they are healthy and allow us to survive and face situations complicated. And as we mentioned in the introduction, rather than avoiding them, we should learn to manage them correctly in such a way that we allow ourselves to feel them without becoming dysfunctional.

This requires emotional intelligence, being able in fact to train this type of intelligence. Here are some guidelines for learning how to manage negative emotions.

1. Don't block them

The first and most important step in learning how to manage negative emotions is simply not avoiding them. And it is that as a general rule we tend to try to want to reduce our suffering and ignore or cover them without more. It is necessary to avoid avoidance and accept that we must face them.

2. Assess why they appear and what they want to tell you

As we have said, emotions are something adaptive that helps us survive. It is necessary that in addition to allowing ourselves to feel them, we listen to what they want to tell us, what they are informing us about.

Although this point may seem very logical, the truth is that many people are not able to say why they feel the way they do. Why are we sad? Has something happened that leads us to be like this? We must do an exercise not only in perception but also in reasoning at an emotional level on these issues.

3. Use meditation techniques

Closely linked to the previous point, a good way to get in touch with our emotions is the use of meditation. There are also techniques such as Mindfulness (which is also largely based on a certain type of meditation) that can be useful to us. Allow our thoughts and emotions to pass and observe them as a witness, without interfering with them, can help us determine the reason for its appearance.

4. Express them

A widespread error in most societies, at least in Western ones, is that suffering and suffering discomfort is usually a taboo and hidden topic, something even embarrassing that we do not usually share with anyone or with few persons. Negative emotions, then, are usually hidden and socially repressed, something that may have a cumulative effect in the long run that it is going to make us feel worse and worse and that what should be adaptive becomes harmful and even pathological.

Although it may not be about making a constant demonstration, it can be useful to share them with the close environment or express them in different ways, such as through art. It's about making them flow and letting them appear and disappear in a normal and adaptive way.

5. Give them answer

It is not only about knowing why they are there or limiting themselves to expressing them, but it is also essential give an answer to the need they are expressing. That is, if we are distressed and need to calm down, we should seek relief, or if we are sad, somewhere to feel protected. If we are nervous about the chaos in a situation, maybe we can look for an order, or if we We are sorry for having hurt someone, we can talk to that person and try to make amends. situation.

6. Try not to be dominated

We have said that negative emotions are also adaptive, as long as they flow normally. But it is also possible that a particular emotion becomes a dominant element in our life and that it becomes a central axis that alters all our behavior, being also something resistant to change.

We must try to listen to our emotions, but learn to manage them in such a way that they are functional for us and they allow us to have a good quality of life and a feeling of well-being. Otherwise we could be manifesting some type of unhealthy reaction or even a pathology such as depression. That is why understanding how to manage negative emotions is something of great importance in our day to day life.

7. Appreciate situations that arouse similar feelings

Emotions usually arise when experiencing some type of certain situation. If the emotions that arise are negative, such as anguish or fear, sometimes we may not know how to deal with them.

One way to reduce the intensity of these negative emotions can be to remember situations similar to the one we are experiencing. generates the emotion itself: it is about remembering how we have faced it in the case of having been successful at the time of solve them, in such a way that they inspire us and provide guidelines applicable in the current situation. This will allow us to reduce tension and discomfort.

Of course, this would be valid only if we have successfully faced a similar situation: if a positive resolution is not achieved, in no case can it even generate a higher level of discomfort.

8. The power of observation

So far we have talked about different aspects to work on oneself, but the truth is that it is also We can improve our way of managing negative emotions by observing and listening to the the rest.

Observe how others express emotions and how they manage them It can allow us not only to identify them in others but it can also lead to self-identify aspects such as physiological symptoms or ways of acting. The use of models that teach us to cope with situations and emotions can also help us to a great extent.

9. Self-registration and / or diaries

A typical technique for learning to manage negative emotions has a lot to do with the ability to organize and systematize information. Keeping a diary or some type of self-registration can help us to observe what situations generate certain emotions in us, its intensity or even possible alternative interpretations to the interpretations made or possible responses to be made.