Lack of social skills in adults: its effects, and how to deal with it

Many people in adulthood suffer from problems with their social skills, either to a greater or lesser extent.

We are going to try to explain the main consequences that this deficit can generate in these people, as well as some of the techniques used to achieve an improvement in these capacities and thus remedy the repercussions that they have on their day to day day.

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The importance of social skills

In order to address the problem of the lack of social skills in adults, it is essential that we first know what it is refers exactly to this concept in order to know where its importance lies and the problems involved in suffering from a deficit in said ground.

Social skills, or social competencies, refer to all those capabilities of an individual that enable and facilitate the power to interact with their peers and communicate adequately in different contexts, knowing how to use the rules social. Ultimately, thanks to these skills, the person will be able to socialize with others in a correct and satisfactory way for both parties.

Simply attending to this brief definition, we can get an idea of ​​the consequences that a lack of social skills can have in adults, since their possibilities of Interaction with other people would be seeing diminished and therefore they would have difficulties in their way of communicating with others, with the negative results that this would have on the subject.

If we wonder what some of the social skills may be, we can see some concrete examples. The active listening it would be one of the most common. Also the simple fact of knowing the proper way to start, maintain and end a conversation, according to social rules. Introducing yourself or others, asking questions, or thanking something would be too.

Some more complex ones, whose lack can also represent a lack of social skills in adults, would be apologize, ask for a favor, try to persuade someone, comment on an event, explain the instructions to perform a certain task, express what you feel, empathize with others, ask permission, joke or complain.

These are just a few examples. We can therefore intuit that the lack of social skills in adults can seriously limit the possibilities of interaction of a person, which can have serious repercussions in his life daily.

Causes of Lack of Social Skills in Adults

Authors like Gresham have tried to investigate the causes behind the lack of social skills in adults. In his 1998 study, he talks about possible origins of a very diverse nature. One of them would be the consumption of substances, such as alcohol, which could have a physical and psychological effect on the person.

Even such addiction to alcohol could affect, not only the person himself, but his children, in the case of pregnant women, being able to give birth to children with an alcohol spectrum disorder fetal. In any case, the abuse of this substance represents one of the possible causes of a lack of social skills in adults.

But this problem could also be generated by some psychopathology, such as attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). People who suffer from it, especially during adolescence, can be rejected by their peers. Likewise, people with autism spectrum disorder may also see their way of communicating and interacting with other individuals altered.

Other psychopathologies that can also represent a source for the lack of social skills in adults are depression and general anxietyprecisely because due to these ailments, these individuals may be reduced in the occasions in which they can communicate with other subjects, and when such occasions occur, they may not be in the right conditions to interact correctly.

Consequences of social skills deficits in adulthood

We have already looked at some of the possible causes of poor social skills in adults. Now we must talk about the consequences of this deficit. We are going to list some of the most important ones.

1. Self esteem issues

It is clear that if a person is deprived of their ability to socialize, it will have negative effects on them that will have repercussions, among other things, on their own self-esteem. Not being able to communicate adequately with others, even at very basic levels, can cause the subject to evaluate himself negatively, which can also create a vicious circle, making the possibilities of interaction even more difficult.

This would occur because the individual does not want to face situations that have generated discomfort and poor self-perception again. Therefore, one of the most important consequences that can occur due to a lack of social skills in adults are problems related to low self-esteem.

2. Anxiety and depression

We already saw that pathologies such as anxiety and depression can lead to difficulties in social skills. But in addition to causes, they can also be a consequence of these. And it is that conflicts and uncomfortable situations generated as a result of inappropriate interactions can gradually forge a continued feeling of sadness in the individual, in addition to anxiety symptoms when thinking about past interactions and future.

Therefore, the lack of social skills in adults can lead to pictures that could fit with depression and / or anxiety, which is yet another reason to give this issue the importance it deserves.

3. Inability to resolve conflicts

Going to more specific situations that can also be a consequence of this problem, we could find the example of the inability to resolve conflicts. Conflicts, to a greater or lesser extent, are a routine part of human interactions. Therefore, the lack of social skills in adults can mean that a person is not able to cope with these common situations.

In that sense, A conflict, no matter how small, could be a scenario that would overwhelm the individual, feeling unable to face it, much less resolve it. In turn, this could cause stress to the person and even lead to the anxiety-depressive symptoms that we saw in the previous point.

4. Rejection of others

Not all the consequences are generated in the person who has this deficit in social skills. This situation can also have repercussions on the individuals around you., who may prefer to avoid interactions with them knowing that they have trouble behaving in a socially accepted way.

This perception could be harmful to the self-esteem of the subject, as we have already seen, and bring about a symptomatology compatible with that anxiety or depression of which we spoke.

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How to overcome these problems?

Once the problem of the lack of social skills in adults has been analyzed, the question to ask is whether this situation can be solved in some way. As in almost all cases, when we talk about psychological disorders, it is essential to carry out a personalized evaluation of the case, task that will correspond to the professional psychologist in charge of it.

However, in general terms, it can be said that social skills can be improved, by less partially, thanks to different techniques and forms of character training cognitive-behavioral.

1. Modeling technique

One of them would be modeling, by which a person who is assumed to be an expert in the use of social skills, shows the person who suffers from the deficit how to behave in different social situations that occur on a daily basis. In this way, having a clear model, you can compare with your own way of acting and consciously modify your behavior.

2. Behavioral practices

But one's own observation of others might not be enough to solve the lack of social skills in adults. Therefore, another widely used technique is precisely practice. For it, the therapist can propose a series of interactions, starting with some very simple ones, in which the person has to behave in a certain way.

These scenarios can be simulated, as in a role-playing game, or real, visiting the places where these interactions can occur naturally, such as a shop.

3. Desensitization

If one of the causes of the lack of social skills in adults is the anxiety that these situations provoke in the person, you can that it is necessary to resort to techniques such as desensitization, to reduce the physiological activation that is generating in she.

Bibliographic references:

• Bernal, A.O. (1990). Social skills and their training; a necessarily psychosocial approach. Psicothema.
• Del Prette, A., Del Prette, Z.A.P. (2013). Effective social skills training programs based on experiential methods. Notes of Psychology.
• Gresham, F.M. (1998). Social skills training: Should we raze, remodel, or rebuild? Behavioral Disorders.
• Iruarrizaga, I., Gómez-Segura, J., Criado, T., Zuazo, M., Sastre, E. (1999). Anxiety reduction through social skills training. Electronic magazine of Motivation and Emotion.