What are the psychological problems of avoidant attachment?

The attachment that we establish towards our fathers and mothers during childhood greatly influences how we we live the first years of our lives and if we are more or less happy in this stage of developing. However, it doesn't just affect us in this way: it also leaves a mark on the way we grow psychologically.

In fact, developing one attachment style or another can lead us to suffer various forms of discomfort in our lives as adults. In this article we are going to focus on the psychological problems that can appear if our personality has been consolidated on a basis of avoidant attachment.

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What is avoidant attachment?

To understand what avoidant attachment is, it is first necessary to start from attachment theory, developed primarily by psychiatrist John Bowlby in the 1970s and 1980s. This is one of the most important theories in the History of Developmental Psychology, and it is based on the idea that the link we establish with the main support figures in childhood (in practice, parents) have a great influence in shaping our way of developing psychologically and consolidating one or another type of personality.

According to attachment theory, it is not possible to grow without developing a certain attachment style, for better or for worse; in fact, even children who are neglected by their caregivers experience one. Do not forget that, in this case, Attachment is a psychological process that, even if it involves more than one person, has its seat in the child's mind.. It does not have to be based on a balanced or reciprocated bond.

As in our childhood we learn about ourselves and about the world taking as a reference what the adults who take care of us, knowing what to expect from them predisposes us to feel one way or another when we interact with the environment. It is not the same to know that we have the physical and emotional support of a father or mother, than to see how they only provide us with the essential physical resources to survive in the short term.

According to attachment theory, This first set of experiences and expectations associated with our relationship with these protection figures will determine the way in which we treat the rest of relationships. that we establish for the rest of our lives.

Thus, avoidant attachment is one of the different attachment styles that we can develop from our childhood. This is characterized by the fact that the children who develop it treat the caregiver in a similar to how they treat other people, without expressing satisfaction in the presence of it or looking for it actively.

These are little ones who explore their environment little regardless of whether or not they are with the figure of protection, and who avoid or ignore interaction with the father, mother or legal guardian. It usually occurs in parenting models in which little attention is paid to the boy or the girl beyond ensuring her survival.

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Main problems associated with avoidant attachment

As attachment styles have a great influence on how personality develops, the way in which it expresses itself through concrete actions can vary. However, it is possible to find general patterns of behavior associated with one or another style of attachment, and that each person will externalize in a characteristic way depending on the environment in which live.

In the case of problems related to avoidant attachment and its consequences in adulthood, the following should be highlighted.

1. Difficulties in creating affective bonds based on commitment

Many adults who have developed an avoidant attachment style have trouble maintaining relationships, since they place a lot of importance on their own independence and do not like the idea of ​​sacrificing part of it to fulfill a series of commitments.

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2. Lack of support derived from little social support

Due to their lifestyle based on personal autonomy, many people who have grown up from avoidant attachment retain few friends as they grow up. They are entering adulthood, and may reach a point where they find themselves in an unwanted loneliness due to the fact of not having properly cultivated their friendships. This makes them adopt habits linked to social isolation, physically and mentally unhealthy.

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3. Excessive shyness problems

In people in whom the avoidant attachment has consolidated in its anxious-avoidant version, it is easy for problems to arise of fear of showing one's vulnerabilities to others. These people are often uncomfortable noticing how someone little known wants to interact with them.

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4. Frustration at seeing yourself in roles of caring for others

Aspects such as serving as an example for younger siblings or having to care for people in vulnerable situations do that these people feel more frustrated than the average.

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Do you want to have professional psychological support?

If you are interested in having the support of a fully trained team of psychologists to help you overcome emotional, behavioral or relationship problems, contact us.

On Advance Psychologists We have been offering our services in the sector for more than 20 years, and currently we help patients of all ages through psychotherapy, speech therapy, neuropsychology, psychiatry and sexology. The sessions can be carried out in person at our center located in Madrid, or online by video call.