How do narcissistic people affect us negatively?

What is understood by narcissism in Psychology is a phenomenon as complex as it is problematic if it is not well managed in personal relationships.

And it is that although people with a narcissistic propensity usually direct the focus of their attention towards themselves, this has very important implications in their behavior towards others.

Therefore, in this article we will see how we are adversely affected by people with such a high level of narcissism that it is problematic.

• Related article: "The main theories of personality"

What is narcissism?

Narcissism is a psychological phenomenon characterized above all by two elements: the tendency to think that oneself is more important than the rest of the person or has characteristics that make it worthy of a privileged treatment, on the one hand, and the need to see reflected in the treatment that others offer us that idea that we are very special, for the other.

Therefore, in narcissism there is a paradox: in a certain sense we believe we are superior to the rest, but this feeling of greatness gives us leads to being more dependent on others and suffering more frustration when the rest do not treat us in a way according to those assumptions. That is to say, that, on the one hand, their self-esteem is very "inflated" but on the other it is very vulnerable and can be "pricked" with ease, leading to emotional crises and, in most cases, to a very hostile or even aggressive attitude when this happens.

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Personality trait or psychological disorder?

It is important not to confuse the concept of "narcissism", simply, with narcissistic personality disorder. In the first case, we are talking about a psychological trait that is present to a greater or lesser extent in practically all people, since Depending on the context and our mental state at key moments, we can all behave showing a certain inclination towards the narcissism.

In the second case, on the other hand, we are referring to a psychopathological phenomenon that is part of personality disorders. This set of alterations is made up of disorders closely linked to behavior patterns that reflects the personality of the person who develops them, and therefore, they are very complex to deal with in therapy. Here, the narcissism is not only very pronounced, but produces qualitative changes in the way in which the individual acts towards others and towards himself, and that causes their quality of life and that of the people around them to be damaged.

In the case of narcissistic personality disorder, it occurs in a very small portion of the population, just under 1%. However, where it occurs, it is important to know its characteristics to avoid certain complications as much as possible. arising from misunderstandings or lack of information about how to manage dealing with a person who has developed this disorder. Therefore, in the following lines we will address the issue of how pathologically narcissistic people affect us.

• Related article: "How does a narcissist react to rejection?"

How do very narcissistic people affect us?

These are the main Implications for others of dealing with someone extremely narcissistic:

• They constantly seek the external validation: showing something they have done and not seeing how they like it a lot to others can lead to a hostile attitude in them.

• They do not take well the fact that they are not in charge of the conversation: they want to decide at all times what is being discussed and when they can talk even though it means interrupting.

• They show a lack of sensitivity when dealing with sensitive topics or that make someone involved in the conversation feel vulnerable; many times, this helps to maintain their dominant role in the dialogue.

• They turn any topic into a monologue about themselves and their lives: they almost always prefer to talk about their lives than about abstract subjects.

• Before admitting their own mistake, they blame others for what happened, even getting angry.

• It is practically impossible to give him constructive criticism without taking it very badly.

• It is common for them to belittle the merits and achievements of others, contributing to lowering the self-esteem of those around them.

• They capitalize on the attention of conversations even if they don't know anything about it.

• They have a tendency to want to control the behavior of their partners in an obsessive and dominant way, which easily unravels situations of physical and / or psychological abuse.

• They prioritize the hedonic enjoyment of the here and now to the creation of lasting and stable affective and social bonds; that can do who break their word easily, because they believe with that right.

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