Mother... Do you believe in the Magi?

Patricia was preparing dinner and had just put in the oven a homemade roscón that she had learned to make last Christmas, a recipe that she had passed her sister to him and originally came from her maternal grandmother, whose skills as a confectioner were highly valued in her family.

Meanwhile, her 4-year-old son, Martín, was watching the Three Kings parade on television; They normally attended live every year, but tonight it was raining and windy, so they had decided to stay home.

Martín turned to her mother and asked her: "Mommy, do you believe in the Three Wise Men?". She took a while to answer, not because she was not clear, but because she was lost in her thoughts. The previous years she had had a bittersweet feeling accompanied by a strange pang as she saw the face of her son as she contemplated King Belshazzar, her favorite, parading in his float.

However, this year it no longer happened to him. He had come for several sessions to family therapy; there she, guided by the therapist and with the involvement of her family, she had gone through a process of self-knowledge that had allowed her to understand The reason for those feelings: when she was little, in her house Christmas was celebrated with great joy on the part of her mother, however, her father did not understand the reason why they had to decorate the house and give gifts, for him it was all a sham and she only saw materialism in those dates.

Patricia remembered a scene in her house when she was little, while they were listening to a news item about the Three Wise Men: she heard her father, an unloving and somewhat demanding man, comment in a low voice that she did not understand that children were fooled like that when it was clear that they were just men in disguise.

This skeptical attitude on the part of her father collided with Patricia's illusion and desire to believe and, although facing the gallery until last year she had always shown her best smile, inside her her Christmas spirit had not permeated her everything. In other words, Patricia, from a young age, unconsciously learned that in order to remain loyal to her father and being united to him should look like him, that meant not believing in the magic of Parties.

• Related article: "The 6 stages of childhood (physical and mental development)"

Should we transmit to children the existence of the Magi?

The world of children is different from that of adults; The little ones have the ability to contemplate life from the prism of magic and illusion and, at certain ages, they can even confuse reality and fiction.

Yet as we grow society is concerned with making us see clearly the difference between fantasy and reality. It is a necessary maturation process, but getting older is one thing and losing the ability to dream is quite another. Many adults never spend time playing games anymore. Someone once said: "we don't stop playing because we get old, we get old because we stop playing."

Parents maintain the gift tradition every Christmas and pass it on to future generations. Could one think that we are fooling children when we talk to them about the existence of beings that are not really part of reality? Are we betraying your trust in us as parents? How will they face the disappointment that harsh reality offers them in the future? Will they feel cheated or even cheated by their parents, the most important people in their life?

• Related article: "Magical thinking: causes, functions and examples"

Defenders and detractors

There are those who defend the idea that it is counterproductive to create this false belief, since sooner or later they will have to land in reality, so they consider that there is no point in delaying it. However, if we clip their wings from a young age: How do we expect them to become hopeful adults? What kind of adults do we expect them to be?

Any of us who go back to childhood will remember in most cases the emotion that aroused in him when he the Christmas dates were approaching and yes, probably when discovering who were the true Magi he felt a small disappointment.

Personally, I am grateful to my parents and the adults who with that good intention contributed to my maintaining the illusion every year, those nerves that ran through me the night before, that exciting feeling of going to sleep and waking up with joy to find some surprises in the living room ...

Many pedagogues consider it beneficial for children to maintain this tradition, since they are in a stage in which magic, illusion help them to develop their creativity and their abilities, to believe in their dreams, to trust, so when as adults they look back, that magical feeling will inspire them to let life surprise.