Emotions: friends or foes?

Humans are rational animals, but we've focused so much on the logical aspects of ourselves ourselves, that many times it seems that we forget or want to forget that we are also beings emotional We can think, we can analyze the events in our life, make decisions, create, reflect, but also and above all we feel.

Somehow, our emotions are present at all times in our life. When we fall in love, we feel something for another person; but also when we smell fresh bread we can notice different nuances in a very vivid way or even feel different. Similarly, when we are with friends enjoying a good conversation; or simply sitting on the sofa at home with a blanket when it is cold or raining outside on the street. We feel love, nostalgia, satisfaction, comfort, relaxation, comfort ...

We love being able to feel these kinds of things, they make us value life, enjoy small and big moments, feel present in the here and now and value things. But we do not usually take into account the emotions that are often considered "negative"; just to try to avoid them.

• Related article: "Emotional psychology: main theories of emotion"

Managing negative emotions

Nobody likes to be scared, or sad, or stressed, down, down. Feeling ashamed, guilty, or remorse about something. But even if we don't like to feel like this, neither could we feel the pleasant emotions if we are not able to accept the negative ones as well.

For example, when we love someone, it is also normal to feel fear of losing that person, and of course it is very normal to be terribly sad if that person disappears from our life. The price of being able to feel the wonderful emotion that love is, is being willing to be able to suffer at some point.

But unfortunately, sometimes the fear of our own painful emotions is so great that we spend our lives avoiding feeling them, denying their existence and implying that in reality we are “stronger” than we really are, when it is not a question of strength to feel more or less sadness about something, but rather of the ability to give ourselves more to a person or no.

In fact, there are people who fear their "negative" emotions so much that are unable to seek positive emotions. For example, this is what happens when someone prefers not to risk having a job that excites them but requires some responsibility, for fear of failure. Or by not starting a relationship for fear of suffering. And so many examples could be given.

• You may be interested: "Are we rational or emotional beings?"

Denying a part of one's life

The problem of acting in life avoiding feeling negative things is mainly that we distance ourselves from positive experiences. If I am not willing to risk anything, I cannot receive anything or feel anything.

Is it worth living like this? Can we really live like this? Sooner or later, and as much as we want to avoid it, we realize that our emotions are part of ourselves, and fighting against them is fighting against ourselves. In some moments the rational part can win the battle, but in others the emotions that invade us the more we try to get away from them will.

The importance of reconciling with our emotional side

The good thing about all this is that if we stop fighting, if we are able to understand that there are no good or bad emotions, but that all are good and adaptive according to circumstances in which we find ourselves, we can stop running away from them, accept them, understand them and express them in a way that is consistent with our needs.

No matter how sad a person may be, if he accepts his emotion and expresses it, time can heal his wounds. When instead of that, you forbid yourself to feel that pain and lock it up inside yourself.Time cannot cure anything, it only keeps it locked up with great effort and with the inconvenience that it often turns against us.

Know the usefulness of each of our emotions, and add to the definition of ourselves the fact that we are animals rational and emotional, can help us understand ourselves more, accept ourselves and be able to experience both the good and the bad that happen to us in life. After all, you also learn from bad.