Overprotected children: 6 educational mistakes that harm them

The desire to make the children enjoy this stage of life to the fullest can lead to child overprotection with astonishing ease.

What at first may seem like simple help and emotional support, sometimes becomes magnified and floods almost all areas of children's lives, causing them to cannot develop the personal skills necessary to achieve autonomy slowly.

And the fact is that if overprotection is so harmful it is, in part, because it is not always easy to differentiate it from the natural kindness that adults show to younger people. That is why it is very important to recognize the signs that a child is being deprived of the ability to develop psychologically properly through basic learning.

Educational failures and child overprotection

Below you can see many of the frequent mistakes that are behind the appearance of spoiled and overprotected girls and boys.

1. Suppose that education is a matter of the school

Some parents take on the idea that the only challenges facing the little ones at home are those at school. In other words, the only place where they should strive to do things is within the walls of the school, and that

Outside of this, parents or guardians must offer all possible facilities as "compensation".

But this does not work like that; the main intellectual and emotional competences are learned outside of school, and that means that you have to make an effort to progress once the school day is over.

2. Avoid conflict at all costs

Some parents and teachers prefer to avoid problems by forgoing the ability to negotiate with children when a conflict of interest arises. The idea behind this strategy is that the child himself or herself you will spontaneously realize that you have acted in a capricious way.

The results of this, of course, are not as positive as one might expect from this logic. In fact, such a naive strategy translates into something very simple: the little ones always get their way... at least in the short term, because always doing what you want is the shortest way to overprotection and lack of autonomy.

3. The belief that frustration is bad

The sight of a child feeling discomfort or a certain degree of frustration can become almost unbearable for some adults, who will quickly come to offer their help and protection.

However, it is convenient lose the fear of the possibility that someone who is going through childhood may experience frustration, if it appears punctually.

Frustration is something that the little ones should be able to foresee and learn to manage, since otherwise, when no one can help them, everything will turn to a ball and they will have to try to forcefully learn what to do, without having previous experience in the matter.

4. Trust blindly in vicarious learning

Some parents and educators believe that the simple act of solving a child's problem in front of her eyes makes him learn the lesson and can repeat that strategy in the future.

It is true that learning through what we see others doing, or vicarious learning (concept developed by the psychologist Albert bandura), is one of the mechanisms by which we adapt to the challenges that life presents us, both in childhood and during the rest of life stages. However, in itself it is not enough, and it cannot be the only learning modality.

To master a competition well, you have to participate in the problems in which it must be applied. This will be known to anyone who has tried to teach someone computer science: take control of the mouse and show them the sequence of clicks required to perform an operation means immediate forgetfulness on the part of the poor trainee if he is unfamiliar with the Program.

5. The basic mistake of priorities

Another common mistake that produces overprotected children is to suppose that the objective of education is to like the boy or girl, to establish a strong affective bond.

This affective bond is very important, but it is not in itself the objective of teaching. Because, it is detrimental to reward lack of initiative and inaction, and it is necessary to raise reasonable and manageable challenges that the little ones can carry out. This will not only make them learn, but it will also make them feel good to feel a sense of conquest every time something goes well for them and, of course, it will be beneficial for their self esteem.

6. The pampering competition

In order to educate, it is necessary to examine oneself and reflect on the reasons that lead us to treat the little ones as we do.

And, encompassed in this task of analyzing our own motivations, it is essential that we stop and think about whether we are pampering too much a child simply because of the social image produced by educating someone who is always with all their needs covered (which is not necessarily happy).

Especially in the case of parents, this pampering competition that leads to comparing the treatment offered to own children with whom friends and neighbors procure their own can be a very great temptation that must be avoided; after all, each person has an unreliable and unrealistic image of how they are educated in other people's homes.