Do you know what defines a narcissistic person?

The personality of the human being can be described from a series of traits or characteristics. When these characteristics form a certain pattern that ends up being dysfunctional or maladaptive, we can speak of a personality disorder.

One of the most relevant elements of this type of disorder is that the pattern is rigid and persistent and leaves its mark in the different areas in which the person operates. And another of the most fundamental aspects is that, almost always, people who suffer from it are not aware of it or do not believe that their thoughts and behaviors may be inappropriate.

Normally, these types of disorders are diagnosed in early adulthood, which is when the personality has been most definitely installed. There are different personality disorders depending on the type of cognitive, emotional and behavioral pattern. One of them is narcissistic disorder.

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Characteristics of pathological narcissism

Narcissistic personality disorder affects around 2% of the population, and the majority are men and not women who manifest it.

In the case of this personality disorder, there are a number of aspects that can help us understand its internal functioning.

1. Guilt and responsibility

People with narcissistic personality disorder are not capable of assessing their failure or responsibility when the circumstances are not as desired. On the other hand, they believe that the fault is of the rest, and that it is others who make mistakes, and do not do things correctly. Thus they are exempted from any responsibility and make it impossible to improve or grow.

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2. Competitiveness

They are usually highly competitive people who quickly come in to compare themselves and try to win, and for this, they also tend to exaggerate and magnify their capabilities (something they do not pretend, since they truly think they are better).

• Related article: "6 tricks to deal with very competitive people"

3. Individualism

At social level they are perceived as uncooperative, with a strong tendency towards individualism.

4. Security and external validation

They constantly need external validation to reaffirm their position and on many occasions they come to lie, manipulate or distort the truth, in order to exalt their qualities.

However, we have to understand that what this attitude of magnificence contains is a terrible fear of rejection by others, and the fear of failure.

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5. Vision of themselves

As we have mentioned, they have a very high view of themselves, which leads them to consider yourself above others, something that leads them to be rejected in many environments.

• Related article: "Self-concept: what is it and how is it formed?"

6. Emotional management

It is characteristic of these people that they have a low capacity for introspection.

7. Communication style

They have a communication style in which the understanding or agreement with the interlocutor does not exist, since they focus again on themselves with the intention of demonstrating their own worth or position, with which they do not usually listen to the other and tend to take a fighting attitude. In this area, we can also see how they reject and react very negatively to the criticism that is posed to them.

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8. Relationship with others

Another of the most striking characteristics is its lack of empathy and how they are people who stay focused on themselves, so they often try to manipulate other people to achieve their goals.

However, behind these behaviors we can find that these people are highly influenced by a series of variables that they are having trouble managing, such as:

• Fear to fail
• Perfectionism
• Deficit in social skills
• Need for acceptance
• Low self-esteem
• Emotional dependence

Personality traits and social context

As we have previously mentioned, we are talking about a personality disorder, that is, a pattern of stable characteristics over time that cause problems in people's lives or in those of their environment.

But nevertheless, many people may have some personality traits that appear under certain circumstances but do not interfere with their lives becoming functional, so they do not have a personality disorder. That is, there may be people with personality traits that in some ways resemble narcissism.

In this sense, if we look at our society today, we can find that there is a tendency towards social valuation, which facilitates the development of these narcissistic traits when faced with the need to highlight and obtain recognition from the environment in different areas of life.

We could say in some way that behaviors related to standing out above others are promoted and rewarded, to being successful (sometimes without looking at how it is achieved).

However, as we have seen throughout this article, to talk about narcissism, there must be a series of difficulties that are more misfit and therefore serious, Therefore, adequately attending to the emotions and needs of each one will help us to develop a personality style and an adjusted and healthy coping with reality.

Author: Sara Prieto Gómez: Health Psychologist at Centro TAP